Do You Know Where You're Going? How to Live an Intentional Life

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Does this quote sound like you?  Do you know where you are going?  Do you feel like you are always busy but never get anything done?  I've been there.  Living an intentional goal oriented life is a relatively new experience for me.  Being a super achiever who accomplishes a lot is not.  Did you know there is a difference?  I've always been organized.   I've always had a lot of to-do-lists.  I've always worked hard. Since I was quite productive and was checking things off my to-do-list, I felt confident I was moving forward.  Accomplishments however, in and of themselves are not always the desired end result.  Although I seemed to be making progress, I was drowning in the small details of my list.  It is possible to be highly organized, energetic and productive but all in the wrong direction, much like someone who lives in New York and travels to California by way of Florida.  You can check off a lot landmarks along the way but you may never arrive at your destination.

The Key to Living Intentionally

What makes the difference? Priorities and Focus.  In the past, I created a long never-ending list of stuff to accomplish.  About three years ago, I realized the importance of setting goals first and then tackling the list.  It's not that I get any more done.  It's that the things I get done are the things that move me along the path of accomplishing the goal.  Just having a goal creates focus and helps in setting priorites.  I've also found that in each major area of my life, it helps if  I determine a theme for the year.  My career theme two years ago was developing my speaking ability and creating opportunities to lead seminars and workshops. I spoke at the Georgia School Counselor Conference.  I taught lots of parenting workshops at schools. Along with collegues Kathy Brunner and Kim Wiggins, I started the Called Woman Conference.

This year my theme is writing so I've become more intentional about developing good writing skills.  I participated in the Kennesaw Mountain Writing Project last summer and joined a critique group.  Several of the conferences that I'm planning to attend this year are on developing writing skills.  I'm not only blogging but submitting my work to other publications. 

Write It Down, Make It Happen

I just finished reading a terrific book that has helped me focus on living an intentional life. I first heard about the book Write It Down Make It Happen by Henriette Anne Klauser on a Michael Hyatt blog and podcast. In the book, Klauser identifies several really creative ways to focus on goals. As the title suggests, she maintains that just writing a goal down can create such focus that it is almost magical! Here are a few of the unique suggestions that you may not have thought of:

• Write a letter to someone.  In the book, Klauser identifies a friend whose goal was to find her soul mate.  She began by writing a letter to him everyday.  Sometimes she imagined the things they would do together, the common interests they would have. Sometimes she wrote about her feelings of disappointment and frustration that they had yet to meet.  The end result?  She met and married her soul mate!  It doesn't have to be a love letter of course.  You could write letters to a prodigal child,  the future boss of your ideal job or even God.

• Challenge the fears that keep you from accomplishing your goals. Find a picture in a magazine of an angry, finger-pointing individual. Glue it to your journal page.  Beside the picture list all the negative things that you say to yourself that keep you stuck.  Now find another picture of someone who is joyful, jubilant, thrilled to be alive.  Glue it to your next journal page.  Now counter  each of the prior negative statements with something positive.  Instead of "I'm a loser!"  write "I'm a WINNER!" Writing your fears releases you from the bonds of them.  Writing the opposites creates positive focus in your mind.

• Create a Ritual.  Ritual is a powerful process that often propels us forward past fears and resistance.  It can open us to possibilities.  It can nourish a seed that will grow and flourish. Klauser recounts a Native American ritual where participants identify the things they want to bring in to their lives and things they want to take out. Arrows are created to represent both and the desired change is written on the arrow.  Arrows that represent the things to eliminate are buried or burned.  Arrows that represent the things to be brought into lives are taken to the top of a mountain and left standing in a prominent place.  The ritual doesn't have to be followed to the letter of course.  Different objects could be used instead of arrows (pencils instead of arrows were suggested in the book), and the ritual can be adjusted as fits the individual and the environment.  The important aspect is identifying what to send out of one's life and what to bring in.  

These three suggestions are just a sample of the many that Klauser relates in her book. It isn't just full of activities though.  It also has story after story of people who transformed their lives from ordinary to extraordinary through intentional goal setting living.  I was inspired and know you will be too if you read it!

What about you?  Are you living life on purpose?  Do you need some help?  Sign up for the Called Woman email list and get regular updates on resources to transform your life from unfocused to intentional.  When you sign up, you'll receive the free Called Woman Manifesto to get you started!  

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Four Ways to Get Your Money's Worth at Conferences

Are you a seminar or conference groupie?  Do you love attending conferences that get you fired up and energized?  I do!  Stephen Covey in his Seven Habits of Highly Successful People identifies a key habit of Sharpen the Saw which is planned and intentional learning and growing. One of the common characteristics of high achievers is that they keep on learning.  They recognize the value of investing in themselves in order to create the life they want and achieve their goals.   Dan Miller was the first coach I knew that recommended a budget item for self improvement and I've followed this advice for years.

 

High Achievers Plan Intentional Growth

There are lots of ways to Sharpen the Saw.  In the beginning of my entrepreneurial venture, I read a lot of books.  I still read a lot of books.  I also recommend a lot of books to others and if you follow my blog, you know that I post many of those books under resources and on my Shelfari. You can be assured that if you acquire one of the books I recommend that you will learn something new from it.

There are also lots of ways to learn on the internet.  I attend webinars and join online classes.  The advantage of this type of learning is that you can progress at your own speed on your own timeframe.  Many times you can even go back over and over to refresh what you've learned.  Jeff Goin's online writing class,  Tribewriters is a great example of this.    You can drop into the lesson at anytime or listen to the recording at any time.  You can interact with other participants in forums.  You can even post your writing online and have it  critiqued.

What Makes a Good Conference?

One of the best ways to sharpen the saw is to attend conferences and seminars.  While these can be more expensive than books or online classes, the experience can be invaluable.  Here are four qualities I look for in the conferences that I attend:

• Inspirational and Motivational-- A great conference gets me fired up and enthusiastic  It fuels the fires that may be burning low.  It inspires and empowers me to keep moving forward.
• Practical application--I look for conferences that have a track record of over delivering information and resources on a consistent basis.  This doesn't necessarily mean that the conference is packed with well known speakers.  It does mean that the speakers often already provide valuable content through blogs, books and other mediums.  I always research speakers before I attend a conference.
• Opportunities to network- Sometimes at a conference, you can learn as much from other participants as you can from the actual sessions that you attend.  The Called Woman Conference 2013:  Let's Do Launch!  was created by myself and two other women that I met at Kent Julian's Speakers Bootcamp over three years ago.  We connected, brainstormed and created the kind of conference that we would want to attend ourselves.  Spending time networking at conferences can be a gold mine of opportunities.
• Good value--Conferences can be expensive but the cost does not determine the value.  I've attended conferences where I felt I got my money's worth and conferences where I felt I was  wasting my time.  What makes the difference?  First, the speakers must be clearly invested in bettering the lives of the participants.  This is often obvious through attention to details and follow-up after the conference.  Secondly, I must invest myself in the conference.  Making sure that I attend with an open mind and a willingness to actively learn is essential.

My List for 2013

I've been scheduling the conferences that I want to attend in 2013.  I've been consulting with friends and making plans. Want to see the list?  

Tory Johnson's Spark and Hustle 

The Red Clay Writer's Conference

The Christian Author's Guild Catch the Wave Writing Conference 2013

What about you?  Do you have your eye on some learning experiences for 2013?  Are you making opportunities to learn from other high achievers?  What conferences would you recommend to others as good value?  I'd love to hear from you!

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Five Things I Learned from the Called Woman Conference 2013

I was absolutely BLOWN AWAY by the Called Woman Conference 2013. I know that most of the participants were as well because they told me so! As always I learn something from every experience and this year's conference was no different. Here's the five things I learned:

• Dream BIG--Last year was our first conference and our goal was just to make it happen! This year my goal was to at least double the number of participants. We did that and more. We TRIPLED the number.

• Provide Quality--A conference isn't just about numbers. It is about providing excellent quality and value. My goal this year was to bring in lots of speakers with an inspiring and empowering message. Did we do that? Yes, we did! We had a total of FIFTEEN speakers and the feedback I got from all the participants was that it was one of the most amazing and meaningful events they had ever been too.

• Ask for what you need--I'll be honest-I'm pretty good at giving but terrible at asking. I had several people ask me how I got so many great speakers at one event. The answer is simple: I asked for it. I put out a call for proposals and was literally overwhelmed with the response. We turned down as many people as we accepted.

• Provide opportunities for networking--I attend or speak at a lot of conferences and while I love learning and sharing my message, what I enjoy the most about conferences is the opportunity to meet new people who have a similar mission. The best conferences I've attended have been ones where I could get personally involved with speakers and participants. At the Called Woman Conference, we provided numerous opportunities to network including a speakers reception (very popular and fun) at my house on Friday night.

• Maintain a support group--Creating and coordinating a conference can seem like a daunting task. I have the wonderful support of Kathy Brunner and Kim Wiggins. Without them, the conference would still be a dream. It takes the encouragement, hard work and support of a team to make it happen.

A very big THANK YOU to everyone who was a part of making the Called Woman Conference 2013 a huge success!

 

Sign up on the email list for the Called Woman Conference and stay informed about the awesome things we have planned for the rest of 2013! Check out and join our Called Woman Facebook page!

 

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Five Things I Learned from Last Year's Called Woman Conference

Today I'm at the Called Woman Conference 2013:  Let's Do Launch-Follow Your Passion, Make It Reality!  I thought it would be fun to see what I learned last year at the first ever Called Woman Conference and then compare it to what I learn about putting the conference together this year. 

 Here's the post from one year ago...

Yesterday was the Called Woman Conference and what a great day we had!  The attendees learned about their personality style, how to create their mission statement and the leadership qualities that we all have.  Three additional speakers shared how they discovered their passion and reinvented their lives after leaving a failed business, a six figure income from a job she hated and finally a career that just wasn't a good fit.  We enjoyed  a delicious lunch, networked and left with a bag full of goodies and giveaways.  All in all it was a huge success.

How It Started

Putting together a conference that encourages and empowers women to make the most of their gifts and talents has long been a dream of mine.  Just as I have attended conferences, consulted with coaches and done a lot of reading to  reinvent my career and life, I wanted to share that journey and that information with others who find themselves embarking on a similar path.  In the beginning, the idea of a conference like this was just a dream, but bit by bit the pieces began falling into place.  The dream began when I read the book, The Path by Laurie Beth Jones which is one of the clearest directions I have found for creating a mission statement.  You'll find it on my book shelf.

Next, I toured the MUST ministries facility. My friend and MUST event planner, Betsy Matthews shared their gorgeous community room which is available as a way to give back to the community. It seemed like a perfect fit.

Finally, I talked with my friend and fellow author, Kathy Brunner, who immediately and enthusiastically said, "Let's do it!"  when I proposed the idea of a women's conference.  I would never have embarked on the journey without her support and can-do-spirit.  We added Kim Wiggins to the team of planners. She brought her great organizational, technological and leadership skills to the group and we were off and running.  How long did we have?  Six months.  Was this an ambitious plan?  Could we have used more time and developed it more?  YES!  Was it successful anyway?  YES!

Five Things I Learned

Not only was the program successful but I learned five things that will greatly help us as we begin planning our Second Annual Called Woman's Conference for next year.  I think these are valuable things to know whether you are planning a women's conference, reinventing your career or planning a book launch.  Here's what I learned:

• Dream BIG--I admit that I'm not the best in the group at dreaming big.  I tend to downplay things and dream small but expect growth.  To really grow though you need to dream bigger and begin with the end in mind.  We tend to get what we expect so don't undermine your efforts by dreaming too small.  
• Count and conserve your resources. It always takes twice as long as you think and costs twice as much as you would think to reach your dream.  Dream big but  plan carefully and expect that your dream will take time to reach.  Don't give up when you don't see the results you want right away.  Give it time to develop.  When I first embarked on a speaking career, I spent the first year developing things.  Developing topics to  speak on.  Developing contacts and building relationships.  Developing a plan or strategy.  It was not only exhausting but sometimes discouraging.  But it paid off.  While I continue to do all of those things now, I also usually speak at least once a month, sometimes more.  
• It's okay to ask people for things.  Many times they are excited that you did.  One of the things that we provided each participant was a goodie bag.  My goal was to have everything in the goodie bag be donated by businesses that wanted to promote their product.  In the beginning it was difficult to ask people for this but I really came to the point where it was fun because so many people were happy and eager to participate.  I also learned a lot about different businesses and their philosophy about giving.
• Be flexible and don't give up.  Be ready for people to cancel and not show up.  We had a speaker who arrived an hour late (after the conference was over) and attendees who were sick and unable to come.  I learned to be prepared for anything and to always have a plan B in mind.  
• Support is critical-you don't have to go it alone.  The two women that worked with me to plan the conference were amazing.  They were a powerhouse of energy and ideas.  They were creative and hard-working.  We enjoyed working together so much we are already planning how we will work together during the next year to plan our next conference.  What a difference it makes to know someone has your back.  

So there it is.  A successful 2012 Called Woman Conference.  I 'm already dreaming BIG about the next Called Woman Conference for 2013!  

Stay tuned for details on what I learned THIS year from the Called Woman Conference.

In conjunction with the Called Woman Conference 2013, you can download my book:  The Call:  Perfect Dream, Imperfect Life for FREE today!  Here's the link:  The Call

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The One Question You Must Ask Before Setting Goals

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In my last blog post, I wrote about how people often put the cart before the horse when it comes to setting goals.  There is one other thing that is important to do before you set a goal.  You need to ask yourself, "Why?"  Why do you want to achieve this particular goal?  What is the motivating factor?  Are you doing it for yourself or someone else?  Are you doing it to make money, develop a relationship or to look and feel better?  In other words just how strong and committed are you to accomplishing the goal?  Are you setting the goal because you feel you should or because you really want it?  How badly?  Maybe you want to ask, "Why do you need to know?"  Because your "why" will determine whether or not you accomplish the goal.  It is much more important than the how.

Once they've set a goal most people have some idea of how to accomplish it.  If they don't, they have an idea of how to find out.  You can find lots of books on how to eat a healthy diet or lose weight.  You can join an organization that will help you do it.  You can attend training seminars on how to be the top saleswoman in your company or how to teach children to read.  But if you don't really want to achieve it, if you don't have a strong enough "why", you'll give up when the going gets tough.  It's not willpower that you need, it's why power.

Here's an example;  Let's say I offered you twenty dollars to walk across a balance beam laying on the floor.  You'd probably give it a try.  It'd be an easy $20.  Now lets say I put the beam across two tall buildings to make a bridge.  Would you do it?  Too dangerous you say.  Probably not.  What if your child was in the opposite building which was on fire?  Would you walk across to save her?  Scary thought but I bet you'd say yes.  See what a difference the "why power" makes?

Now let's rethink those goals.  It's the power of why that is going to motivate you through the daily grind of accomplishing your goals.  Lets face it.  Whatever your goal is there are some aspects to it that are boring or difficult or intimidating.  But you can do it and you can persist if you keep your "why" out in the forefront.  This is why someone who wants to lose weight keeps a picture of a thin person on their refrigerator.  This is why someone who is getting out of debt keeps a list of their creditors on the wall and marks them off as they are paid off.  This is why someone who wants to run a marathon hangs out with other runners and develops a winning mentality.  Now that you've written down your goals, spend some time thinking about why you want to achieve them.  Develop a visual reminder to keep you focused.  This could be a quote on your screen saver, a picture on the refrigerator or a vision board on your wall.  Whatever it is, make sure you are clear on your "why power" and get ready for the journey ahead.

Have you established your goals for 2013?  Do you know your "why power"?  Do you have a way to keep this top of mind throughout your day?  I'd love to hear from you!

Want to discover how to set goals and follow your passion?  Join us for the Called Woman Conference on March 23rd!  Early bird registration is open.  Don't miss out!

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Is Your Passion Greater than Your Fear?

I'm a big fan of Dan Miller of 48 Days to the Work You Love fame. This probably doesn't surprise you.  If you've ever talked to me for any length of time about my passion for writing and speaking, his name and his wisdom have come up more than once.  I recently promoted the launch of his newest book:  When Wisdom Meets Passion on this blog.  He was kind enough to write the forward to my book, The Call;  Perfect Dream, Imperfect Life.  I am a regular listener of his weekly podcast.  In a recent podcast on following your passion, he referred to his son, Jarred who co-authored his latest book with him.  Jarred is a free-spirit and an entrepreneur who followed his passion to Africa when he lives and works out his commitment to the people of Africa through helping them develop sustainable and profitable income.  Just prior to leaving for Africa to follow his dream and his passion for the first time, Jarred wrote a letter to his parents, expressing his excitement and his fears about the adventure.  Dan quoted Jarred as writing that though he had fears about the outcome, he was certain that his passion exceeded his fears of inadequacy.   Does that statement make you think?  It does me.  Is your passion greater than your fear?

I grew up a very shy little girl.  Talking to people was not something I did easily.  I can remember birthday parties where other kids played games and I watched from afar, summer camps that I turned down the opportunity to attend because I didn't know anyone and many other social activities that I avoided.  The thought of making a presentation to a group struck fear into my heart. One of my first jobs just out of college was as an addiction counselor in an alcohol treatment center. Part of the job involved  teaching regular classes. I can still remember the anxiety I would feel weeks ahead whenever my name would appear on the schedule. I would agonize over the material.  I would worry over the reaction of the attendees.  My hands would shake and my voice would quiver throughout the class.

Fast forward to 2013.  I not only work in an elementary school as a guidance counselor, I deliver hundreds of classes to children and adults every year.  What happened to my fear, terror really, of speaking in public?  My passion is greater than my fear.  I am passionate about engaging children in becoming problem solvers, becoming successful at setting and reaching goals and interacting better through understanding personality styles.

I also present to adults on many of the same topics including finding and living your passion.  I love to engage adults in discovering their gifts and developing their passion.  Do I ever feel the fear?  Of course.  Fear, self-doubt and lack of self confidence still plague me.  Daily. But I keep moving forward.  Why?  Because my passion is greater than my fear.

Helen Keller said, "Feel the fear.  Do it anyway."  Do you have a passion that you wish to follow, to nurture?  Is fear keeping you from venturing forth?  What can you do to increase your passion and overtake your fears?

Want to discover more about following your passion?  Consider attending the Called Woman Conference 2013:  Let's Do Launch!  Becoming the Woman You Were Called to Be!

Want to share your story with other women?  Consider being a speaker at the Called Woman Conference.  We are taking proposals now.  Visit our link:  Call for Proposals

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