Cover of After Me, You Come FirstLast night I met with a friend to talk about our common what-do-I-do-now mid-life-reinventing ourselves in the midst of all sorts of different life changes, conflicts and turmoil. Sara and I have had a connection from the first time we met a few years ago and it has slowly erratically with fits and starts developed into what is currently a one-on-one mutual support group for two middle-aged widowed writers who are trying to find their way through all kinds of challenges; family turmoil, joblessness, retirement, foreclosure, loss of loved ones, faith and church issues. Between the two of us we've got two life times of some pretty remarkable stories. During the conversation, we began focusing on Sara's lack of direction in her writing. She's started a few blogs but has not been inspired to keep them going. She's published two books, The Shattered Pearl and After Me, You Come First. She's written some faith based material for church groups but isn't really sure which direction to go with it. I started asking the usual questions: Who is your target audience? What inspires you to write? What is your niche? When do you feel most in the flow? Before you think I'm such a brilliant coach, let me admit that these are all questions I've asked myself with varied success. I know where the struggle is, but that doesn't mean that I've conquered it. At some point in the conversation, she mentioned that she just has some great stories from pivotal points in her life. I asked her to tell me a couple and without hesitation she was off and running. She was right, they were amazing, interesting, unique stories. I finally said to her... "Just tell your story! Start with your story and the meaning, the purpose, the insight, the lesson will develop out of it." After all, what do audiences want to hear? to read? Do they want another self-help book on how to achieve goals? How to resolve their faith issues? How to live with a dysfunctional family? In truth, what we all want is something personal that resonates with our own lives. We want to know how someone else lived through their struggles and got to the other side. We want to know that there is light and life at the other end of the tunnel. We want to know your story because it just might also be our story.
Guess what I figured out after I got home? I wasn't just figuring that out for Sara, I was figuring it out for me as well. The question became, how can the book I am working on be more than helpful information. How can I use it to tell my story? It's a new challenge and I'm working on it... What about you? How are you telling your story? How are you sharing it with others?
Progress report: 60 pages, 12,825 words
Insight from dinner with Sara: priceless
Here are Sara's books. Read the first one to hear her remarkable story...
Sometimes I think it is difficult to tell our story if we just set out to specifically tell it but in the process of developing information for others to use, bits and pieces of my own story came into play that explained why I felt how I felt. I often have people who know me tell me they can just "hear" me as though I am talking when they read something I have written. Strange but whether that is good of bad, I guess part of telling your story is as though you are conversing with someone while you are at the keyboard. Good luck, Lynne, I know this book will be a wonderful read, because I know your heart!
ReplyDeleteWow, Lynne, you've certainly made some progress here! So proud of you!
ReplyDeleteI love how you have shared your conversation with Sarah, the insights made, and the reasons for writing. When I write my Daily Devotions, I begin with reading the scriptures assigned for the day. I listen for which verse is speaking to me and if there is a story to be shared. I'm learning, through practice and experience, that people do not want to be told, they want to be shown. Stories do just that!
You have hit the nail on the head with that one!
I will get back to you soon about what we discussed today at church. :)
Love and blessings in the new year! Keep working on that book!
@Kathy... I too believe we all have a story but because we are in the middle of it-sometimes it's hard to see it clearly
ReplyDelete@Martha... You are so right with the comment-people don't want to be told, they want to be shown and stories are the best means of doing that. Exactly why Jesus spoke in parables...
Thanks for the comments!
I believe miracles happen when we share, help and/or relate with others -- its happened in my life countless times! Great story...thank you for sharing.
ReplyDelete@ Amy... you are so right about miracles! We have to open ourselves to others to experience them.
ReplyDeleteLynne wow you have come very far in your book...People like to hear about life stories that have meaning or accomplished something...coming out of a difficult situation etc... Knowing that someone else has done it allows them to follow as well...
ReplyDelete@sparklemezen--- you are so right! Here's the rub for me and I suspect for others as well... to me, my story seems ordinary, not worth telling. It is only as we relate it to others that sometimes we recognize the value and the uniqueness of our story. Thanks for the comment!
ReplyDeleteShow me, don’t tell. Dramatize, don’t summarize. All this advice I’ve followed in telling my stories. I’m at the same juncture. Do we want another self-help book? I personally resonate with stories more than advice from the “experts.”
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year! Wishing you a year of abundance in 2012. I hope the Mayans aren’t right :-( We have to tell our stories before the world ends, right?
Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them!
~Oliver Wendell Holmes
Hi There Rachel's Smiley Sociology Study lead me to you and I am somewhat surprised. I have been trying to write a fantasy story for ages but on the night from last year to this year just thought" Why don't you just write your own story?" It will be connected with what I worked on before. Well the questions you asked will help me a lot. Thanks and congratulations for a friendship like the two of you have. It is a precious gift :-)
ReplyDelete@Debra--great summary of what I am learning. Telling your story I find though is at once easy and hard. Easy because of course you know it, there's no research involved. Hard because it is so personal and makes you more vulernable.
ReplyDelete@phoenixrisesagain--so good to hear that this helps others to focus as well.
Thanks for the comments!
Great point! My mom (Becky Morrison) is in your Bible study, and she referred me to your blog - very encouraging! I myself love to read fiction, but as I started writing fiction it just didn't flow well. Instead, I felt God calling me to write my own story - of a pivotal moment in my life - and it's neat that your blog just echoed that same calling. Hope all is going well as you write! -Karen Steele
ReplyDelete@Karen, thanks for joining us! I think writing our own story is often the easier and more fulfilling place to start. It is also what others are more interested in hearing. Best wishes in your efforts
ReplyDelete