Three Ways to Share Gratitude

Gratitude (Photo credit: ally213)

In light of the recent tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut yesterday, I almost didn't post this blog which was pre-written for today.  However, I got to thinking that one of the most common reactions to the news was to express our love to our own children and those around us.  What better way to do that than to consistently express gratitude everyday in ways that matter?  So here it is:

One of my favorite stories about gratitude comes from a teacher at my school who told me about a student in her classroom. "He is such a wonderful and polite boy," she said. "Every day when he leaves my class he says, 'Thank you for teaching me today."  This story is always a reminder to me to express my gratitude to others in my life on a regular basis.

What if we all made sure to notice the people in our lives and thanked them for their contributions, everyday? What if everyday we made sure to notice the many blessings in our lives and thanked God for the abundant life we have? I think this is a life changing concept. Firstly, it encourages those around us. Think how encouraged this teacher is with the simple action of this student expressing his appreciation. I could tell from our conversation that this lifts her spirits each day. Secondly, this positive attitude on the part of the student must encourage him to excel in his studies and reach for his goals. An attitude of gratitude not only empowers those that we thank, but it also changes us. When we are grateful and express that, it changes our focus. We develop a positive attitude. We are strengthened and motivated. We are encouraged.

In a recent Andy Stanley leadership podcast, he talked about the importance of expressing gratitude or appreciation to others and even gave some guidelines for how to do this. Here are the three main things that he mentions:

• Be specific--whether you are expressing gratitude to a family member, a co-worker or a helpful salesclerk in a mall, it is important to be specific.  Notice the difference between saying "Good job!"  and "I love the way that you made your bed and put away your toys."  or "Thanks for turning in such a detailed report before the deadline."  Saying thanks is important but being detailed about what was special about it makes the thank you special as well.
• Be honest--Everyone can see through a thank you that is not deserved or is manipulative.  Gratitude needs to be genuine to be beneficial.
• Be public-- while this is not always necessary or a part of gratitude it does really boost self-esteem when done correctly and sincerely.  This is not meant to be bragging or
  even embarrassing but a parent who encourages a child by expressing gratitude so that others can join in can be beneficial to all.  Similarly an employee who is recognized publicly for their hard work can feel appreciated in multiple ways. 

Gratitude Journal (Photo credit: limevelyn)

Another way to recognize and express gratitude is through keeping a gratitude journal. Here's a twist on that idea. Pick someone you care about and secretly keep a daily journal about things about them that you are grateful for. At the end of a year or a designated time period, give them the journal. The amazing thing about doing this is that it will not only encourage them, it will transform you and your relationship. Don't you think this is what the author of I John 3:18 meant when he said, "Little children, let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them and show it by our actions. Then we will know for sure, by our actions, that we are on God's side." Each day as we develop an attitude of gratitude, we are bringing light to a dark world. We are encouraging and empowering not only others but ourselves in the process.

Finally, according to Andy Stanley, there is an unexpected result of gratitude.  It is generosity.  When we are generous with our gratitude, others often become more generous in their actions.  It is a neverending positive cycle.  Where can you step up your expression of gratitude?  What are you grateful for and how do you share it with others?

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• Lessons from my month of public gratitude
• Be Someone Who Expresses Gratitude
• Starting a Gratitude Practice
• 20 Ways Gratitude Improves Productivity

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Cover of John Lennon







I recently read this quote from John Lennon, "When I was five years old my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life.  When I got to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I wrote down 'happy'.  They told me I didn't understand the assignment and I told them they didn't understand life."  I bet this story makes you smile because it's just the kind of thing that a five year old would do.  I hope it also makes you think.  What do you want to be when you grow up?  Are you on that path?

Much as the pursuit of happiness seems like a worthy destination, I would actually challenge it as a worthy mission in life.  Here's why;  I believe that happiness is a byproduct of your perception, your mindset.  I believe that you create your own happiness and you create real happiness and joy by discovering the passion, the art, the creativity, the God-given gift within you and pursuing that.  When we pursue happiness itself, we are pursuing something that is often elusive, that may change daily and that may not actually be in keeping with other important values.  For instance, it may make me 'happy' to go on a shopping spree that I can ill afford.  It may make me 'happy' to become involved in a relationship that violates prior commitments.  Ultimately of course, both of these examples will result in unhappiness since in both these examples there are many other values and circumstances that need to be taken into consideration.  When we search within for the mission or purpose in our lives then make that our north star, we are much more likely to not only reach our goal but to be happy in the process.

None of this is easy.  I've spent much of my life setting goals but having a hazy idea of my mission or purpose in life.  When we set goals that aren't grounded in our basic purpose and our beliefs or values, then we not only have difficulty staying focused on them and achieving them but we are often amazed at the destination when we arrive.  Figuring our where we are going and getting on the right path   are both important parts of the journey of life.  A great book that I've recently read on this very subject is The Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley.   One of the questions that he asks and answers in the book is, "Why is it that smart people with admirable life goals often end up far from where they intended to be?  Why do our expectations about our own future often go unmet?"   There are a lot of explanations for this but the simplest and most basic is that while we establish our goals, we don't take the time to  establish the mission for our lives and the path that will lead there.

In a couple of weeks, I will be part of a one day conference for women where we will address these questions;  What is your passion?  What is your mission? What is the path to follow to arrive at the destination?  You can check out a video about the conference here:  A Called Woman Conference

What about you?  What do you want to be when you grow up?