Lynne's Five Laws of Desired Difficulties

 

My life hasn't been perfect.  Has yours?  I've experienced everything from the loss of a job to the loss of a parent and husband.  I've had interpersonal conflicts and personal failures.  I grew up in what used to be called a "broken home"  and I've been so shy that I was afraid to try anything new. What have your struggles been?

Gratitude for Difficulties

In this season of Thanksgiving, are you ever grateful for the difficulties in your life?  Everywhere we look there are reminders to count your blessings. We start gratitude journals and publish what we are grateful for on Facebook. There are whole websites and programs devoted to recognizing our successes and being grateful for them.  Do you ever list your failures and losses?  Do you ever express gratefulness for the scarcity? 

In a recent podcast, Dan Miller of 48 Days to the Work You Love, talked about his childhood.  He grew up in a Mennonite family where money was considered evil and poverty a way of life.  There was no running water in his house until he was in the 8th grade.  He worked hard on the family farm and was not allowed to watch tv, listen to music or enjoy social or sporting events.  He didn't have any support for attending college as education past  high school was considered dangerous and unnecessary. Despite all this adversity, Dan is grateful for this lifestyle.  Out of it came an independent spirit and love of reading and books.  He learned to earn his own money, to foster an entrepreneurial spirit and create his own opportunity.  He believes that he is the successful entrepreneur that he is today because of the adversity that he faced in his childhood.  Do you have a similar story?

When I was younger, my goal was to live a carefree-adversity-free-life. I hoped to avoid conflict and failure at all costs. I tried to fly under the radar and stay out of sight.  I truly thought this was the way to be successful and move forward in accomplishing goals. I've come to realize that not only is this impossible but it also creates a colorless, ordinary risk-free life.  Is that your goal?  Or would you prefer an extraordinary life of color and adventure? 

Lynne's Five Laws of Desired Difficulties

After a lifetime of trying to avoid risk and failure, I've finally learned that there is much to be grateful for in difficulty and adversity.  Here are five things I've learned:

1. In every adversity, there is an opportunity.  It's not always easy to see.  It takes a certain perspective, even sometimes the advantage of hindsight to find it.
2. The only people who experience a life free of failure are the people who never take a risk or try any thing new.  If you take a risk sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but you always learn.
3. You can turn any difficulty into a learning experience if you will focus on being a learner instead of a loser.  Rather than emphasizing that you failed look for what you have gained.  I never said it would be easy...
4. Difficulties make you more empathetic to others, especially those who have experienced similar ones.  It can help you forge close relationships.  It also gives you an additional way to serve others by sharing what you learned.
5. Depending on how you handle them, desired difficulties can be the foundation of your greatest successes. 

Avoiding Failure and Risk Means Living an Ordinary Life

Some of these have been hard lessons to learn.  It is still easy for me to sit back and let life ramble on without direction or purpose while I wait for things to happen.  It is hard to step out on faith and try new things that may not work.  It is hard to look for opportunities in the midst of tragedy or loss but I do believe it is the best way to live.  Rather than trying to avoid failure, I now take planned and intentional risks to live a life that is truly full of color and excitement.

What about you?  How have failures or losses in your life been opportunities?  Are you grateful for the desired difficulties as well as the blessings in your life?

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Book Launch Week for Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns about Giving: Reduced Price and Bonuses!!

I'm so excited!!!  My newest Wyatt book is out and although I'm a little biased, I think it is one of the best ones yet!!!  Here it is:

Generosity and gratitude have come a popular topic in recent years and I teach several lessons on generosity in my role as a guidance counselor at a school.  One of my favorite stories about gratitude comes from a teacher who told me about a student in her classroom. "He is such a wonderful and polite boy," she said. "Every day when he leaves my class he says, 'Thank you for teaching me today." That student is always a reminder to me to express my gratitude to others in my life on a regular basis.

The Story Behind Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns about Giving

In a society where a feeling of entitlement is commonplace, it is refreshing to meet children and adults who express gratitude and generosity.  When I began writing the story, Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns about Giving, I wanted to help children understand the power of being generous and giving, no matter one's age or economic status.  Some of the most generous people are not necessarily the wealthiest.  Mother Teresa or Nelson Mandela are examples of people who have given their lives in service to others.

When Wyatt's story begins, he is concerned about how long he has to wait until Christmas and what gifts he will receive.  However, by the end of the story, Wyatt understands that his ability to be giving to others is a more important concern. It really is more blessed to give than to receive!

My Gratitude List

What if we all made sure to notice the people in our lives and thanked them for their contributions, everyday? What if everyday we made sure to notice the many blessings in our lives and thanked God for the abundant life we have? I think this is a life changing concept. Firstly, it encourages those around us. Secondly, this positive attitude on our part is actually encouraging to the giver as well as the receiver.  An attitude of gratitude not only empowers those that we thank, but it also changes us. When we are grateful and express that, it changes our focus. We develop a positive attitude. We are strengthened and motivated. We are encouraged.

There are many people that I appreciate in my life and here are just a few:

• Wyatt's creative layout editor: Sammy Sudbury.  He puts up with constant changes and additions without a single complaint!! AND he does a fabulous job..
• Wyatt's illustrator, Pam Gardner.  Every book we do together is more creative and imaginative.  I am in awe of her vision and talent.
• Neil Scott-Barbour, the British Voice Talent who volunteered his time to read the latest Wyatt story and produce a professional audio for the latest book.  He is amazing!
• Andy Traub who taught an amazing class on self-publishing and marketing. I learned so much!
• The Wyatt Insiders' group that provided me with great feedback during the publishing of the book.
• Friends and family who provide support and encouragement always.  
• YOU-my faithful readers! 

Wyatt Learns about Giving is Loaded with Bonuses!

 

I hope you will consider purchasing Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns about Giving for the children in your life.  Each copy comes loaded with bonuses!  There is a free audio download of the story read by British Voice Talent, Neil Scott-Barbour. Other bonuses include:

• A discussion guide
• A coloring sheet for the kiddos
• Directions for how to make a Christmas countdown paper chain
• A template for a Christmas coupon book
• A lesson plan for the educator

Finally, if you purchase the book between Sunday, October 23rd through Sunday, November 3,  the price is discounted on Amazon for both the book and the kindle format.  Many thanks!!

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Three Ways to Share Gratitude

Gratitude (Photo credit: ally213)

In light of the recent tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut yesterday, I almost didn't post this blog which was pre-written for today.  However, I got to thinking that one of the most common reactions to the news was to express our love to our own children and those around us.  What better way to do that than to consistently express gratitude everyday in ways that matter?  So here it is:

One of my favorite stories about gratitude comes from a teacher at my school who told me about a student in her classroom. "He is such a wonderful and polite boy," she said. "Every day when he leaves my class he says, 'Thank you for teaching me today."  This story is always a reminder to me to express my gratitude to others in my life on a regular basis.

What if we all made sure to notice the people in our lives and thanked them for their contributions, everyday? What if everyday we made sure to notice the many blessings in our lives and thanked God for the abundant life we have? I think this is a life changing concept. Firstly, it encourages those around us. Think how encouraged this teacher is with the simple action of this student expressing his appreciation. I could tell from our conversation that this lifts her spirits each day. Secondly, this positive attitude on the part of the student must encourage him to excel in his studies and reach for his goals. An attitude of gratitude not only empowers those that we thank, but it also changes us. When we are grateful and express that, it changes our focus. We develop a positive attitude. We are strengthened and motivated. We are encouraged.

In a recent Andy Stanley leadership podcast, he talked about the importance of expressing gratitude or appreciation to others and even gave some guidelines for how to do this. Here are the three main things that he mentions:

• Be specific--whether you are expressing gratitude to a family member, a co-worker or a helpful salesclerk in a mall, it is important to be specific.  Notice the difference between saying "Good job!"  and "I love the way that you made your bed and put away your toys."  or "Thanks for turning in such a detailed report before the deadline."  Saying thanks is important but being detailed about what was special about it makes the thank you special as well.
• Be honest--Everyone can see through a thank you that is not deserved or is manipulative.  Gratitude needs to be genuine to be beneficial.
• Be public-- while this is not always necessary or a part of gratitude it does really boost self-esteem when done correctly and sincerely.  This is not meant to be bragging or
  even embarrassing but a parent who encourages a child by expressing gratitude so that others can join in can be beneficial to all.  Similarly an employee who is recognized publicly for their hard work can feel appreciated in multiple ways. 

Gratitude Journal (Photo credit: limevelyn)

Another way to recognize and express gratitude is through keeping a gratitude journal. Here's a twist on that idea. Pick someone you care about and secretly keep a daily journal about things about them that you are grateful for. At the end of a year or a designated time period, give them the journal. The amazing thing about doing this is that it will not only encourage them, it will transform you and your relationship. Don't you think this is what the author of I John 3:18 meant when he said, "Little children, let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them and show it by our actions. Then we will know for sure, by our actions, that we are on God's side." Each day as we develop an attitude of gratitude, we are bringing light to a dark world. We are encouraging and empowering not only others but ourselves in the process.

Finally, according to Andy Stanley, there is an unexpected result of gratitude.  It is generosity.  When we are generous with our gratitude, others often become more generous in their actions.  It is a neverending positive cycle.  Where can you step up your expression of gratitude?  What are you grateful for and how do you share it with others?

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Related articles

• Lessons from my month of public gratitude
• Be Someone Who Expresses Gratitude
• Starting a Gratitude Practice
• 20 Ways Gratitude Improves Productivity

The Top Ten People I Am Grateful For

Image by ater_unda via FlickrMy friend Ellen's grand-daughter, Carleigh, has done it again.  I've written about her before and on Thanksgiving, she again proved how a three year old can permanently write her name on her grandmother's heart.  When asked what she was thankful for, she responded without hesitation, "YOU!" meaning of course my friend and her Gigi, Ellen.  Don't you know Gigi was pretty excited to hear that response?  Wouldn't you be excited to to hear who is thankful for you?

With that in mind and in the spirit of the Thanksgiving season, I decided to write my list of the top ten people in my life that I am thankful for.  Here it goes:

10.  Dave Ramsey, Dan Miller, Andy Stanley, Kent Julian and other public figures who have devoted their lives to making a difference in a positive way and who have truly made a difference in mine.
 9.  My co-workers at Sixes Elementary.  I am blessed to work in a supportive caring school where we all consider each other family.  We support each other in hard times and celebrate with each other in happy times.
8.  My church family at Kennesaw United Methodist Church.  I have belonged to the same chuch for over 24 years and in that length of time I have made a a lot of friends.  These are all people who celebrate with me in good times and who wrap their arms around me in the bad times.  I am eternally thankful.
7.  My Thursday 'Love Ya Like A Sista' group.  We get together to share in a Bible study once a week, we vacation together, we socialize together, we support each other.  We love each other like sisters.
6. My close girlfriends, Valerie, Barbara and Ellen who know me so well and love me anyway.  You are the best.
5.  My grandfather. He was the first writer that I knew. I am so grateful that he recognized my talent and encouraged me to develop it.
4. My sister and brothers. There is a special bond between siblings and I will always cherish this.
3. My Mom and Dad.  The older I get, the more I appreciate the support, the encouragement, the sacrifices, the constructive criticism and the love that you shared to make me who I am today.
2.  My daughters and my son-in-love.  It's amazing the depth of love a parent can have for a child.  I am so honored and privileged to be a part of their lives.
1.  My God who loved me before I even knew Him and who sought me out.

What about you?  What if during this season of thanks, you recognized those to whom  you are most grateful for in your life?  Who would that be?

What Are You Grateful For And How Do You Show It?

Image by gamene via Flickr

Thanksgiving is next week and there are turkeys and pumpkins galore decorating the walls of my school.  Many classes are busy having the children list the things they are thankful for and I was interested to note as I walked by one kindergarten class, that there was frequent mention of Mom and Dad, closely followed by God and Jesus.  This is a public school mind you, but it doesn't keep the children from talking about their faith.  Then, I was talking with a fifth grade teacher who told me about a student in her classroom. "He is such a wonderful and polite boy," she said. "EVERY day when he leaves my class he says, 'Thank you for teaching me today.'" This got me to thinking about what we could all learn from this fifth grader and his attitude of gratitude.

What if we didn't wait for Thanksgiving to roll around to list our blessings? What if we all made sure to notice the people in our lives and thanked them for their contributions, EVERYDAY? What if EVERYDAY we made sure to notice the many blessings in our lives and thanked God for the abundant life we have?  I think this is a life changing concept. Firstly, it encourages those around us. Think how encouraged this teacher is with the simple action of this student expressing his appreciation. I could tell from our conversation that this lifts her spirits each day. Secondly, this positive attitude on the part of the student must encourage him to excel in his studies and reach for his goals. An attitude of gratitude not only empowers those that we thank, but it also changes us. When we are grateful and express that, it changes our focus. We develop a positive attitude. We are strengthened and motivated. We are encouraged.

The idea of keeping a gratitude journal is very popular lately.  Here's a twist on that idea.  Pick someone you care about and secretly keep a daily journal about things about them that you are grateful for. At the end of a year, give them the journal.  The amazing thing about doing this is that it will not only encourage them, it will transform you and your relationship.  Don't you think this is what the author of I John 3:18 meant when he said, "Little children, let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them and show it by our actions. Then we will know for sure, by our actions, that we are on God's side." Each day as we develop an attitude of gratitude, we are bringing light to a dark world. We are encouraging and empowering not only others but ourselves in the process. Who would have thought a fifth grade boy could have been such an example to us all?

An Attitude of Gratitude

I was talking recently with a fifth grade teacher who was telling me about a student in her classroom. "He is such a wonderful and polite boy," she said. "Every day when he leaves my class he says, 'Thank you for teaching me today.'" This got me to thinking about what we could all learn from this fifth grader and his attitude of gratitude.
What if EVERYDAY we all made sure to notice the people in our lives and thanked them for their contributions? What if EVERYDAY we made sure to notice the many blessings in our lives and thanked God for the abundant life we have? I think this is a life changing concept. Firstly, it encourages those around us. Think how encouraged this teacher is with the simple action of this student expressing his appreciation. I could tell from our conversation that this lifts her spirits each day. Secondly, this positive attitude on the part of the student must encourage him to excel in his studies and reach for his goals. An attitude of gratitude not only empowers those that we thank, but it also changes us. When we are grateful and express that, it changes our focus. We develop a positive attitude. We are strengthened and motivated. We are encouraged. Don't you think this is what the author of I John 3:18 meant when he said, "Little children, let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them and show it by our actions. Then we will know for sure, by our actions, that we are on God's side." Each day as we develop an attitude of gratitude, we are bringing light to a dark world. We are encouraging and empowering not only others but ourselves in the process. Who would have thought a fifth grade boy could have been such an example to us all?