My One Word for 2013

 

It's the end of the year and I have a quick little test for you. Don't you just love pop quizzes?

When I think about 2013 and my plans for 2014, I am...
a.  Not setting goals.  They never worked before and it is a waste of my time.
b.  Evaluating my past year and not only setting new goals but focusing on the baby steps necessary to get there.
c.  Feeling totally overwhelmed.  I'm not sure what I accomplished last year and what do I want to accomplish next year????  Maybe I'll just take a nap and think about it later.

During the holiday I'm
a.  Kicking back and sleeping in, over-eating and over-spending.  After all that's what holidays are for, right?
b.  Holiday?  What holiday?  I'm keeping my nose to the grindstone.  Holidays are just like regular work days, except now I'm also exhausted from cooking, shopping, cleaning...
c.  Enjoying some time off with family and friends.  I have a system in place and know the steps I need to take each day to keep things running smoothly.

Feeling Overwhelmed?

This time of year, people love to ask you, "Are you ready for the holidays?" Trying to do it all can be exhausting.  I know.  This is especially true for women.  We're trying to energize and renew relationships, honor family and spiritual traditions and work a job or run a business.  We're trying to balance all those spinning plates in the air and cringing everytime we hear one crash.

Distractions are everywhere; elaborate Pinterest style decorating,  shopping for the perfect gift for everyone and attending every holiday extravaganza or event. As we are pulled in every direction, finding time to connect with family and friends in meaningful ways is a challenge.

My One Word for 2013

There are lots of ways to bring calm and order to the chaos.  One way is to create focus. In 2013, I created focus by picking one word to define my year. It is a touchstone.  A light to guide you.  An intention to redirect you. 

My one word was joy.  It came to me quite spontaneously as I was setting goals and planning my upcoming year.  I felt I had survived two previous years of great change, loss and family upheaval.  I was truly ready for a new focus and beginning. 

How did this word influence my year?  It gave me something to look for, thus creating focus for my mind.  It also gave me something to intentionally create.  As I made plans, I made sure that joy was a part of each goal.  I planned celebrations and get togethers with friends and family.  I even looked for and found joy in sadness and disappointment. I saw the word everywhere I turned;  in my daily devotional, signs along the road and in conversation with others. It was a constant reminder of my focus for the year. I can truly say that focusing on that one word made a huge difference in my life. 

My One Word for 2014

As I move into the new year, I'm already planning for my one word that will guide me forward.  Again the word came to me quite spontaneously: adventure.  How will this happen?  As I set the intention for 2014, the word adventure will be a reminder to incorporate the spirit of adventure in everything that I do.  It seems the perfect word for a year in which I plan to retire from a 21 year career of school counseling in order to move forward with my other interests of writing and speaking. 

What about you?  How will you create focus for the upcoming year?  What will your one word be for 2014? 

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Three Questions to Ask to Focus Your Energy

energy (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

Simple can be harder than complex. You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end, because once you get there, you can move mountains.  Steve Jobs

We all do it.  We have an idea.  We're going to write a book, sell on ebay or teach an online course in the area of our expertise.  We're going to start a mastermind group, consult with local businesses or create a speaking business.  It doesn't matter what the idea is but pretty soon we're expanding and delving into other areas.  Sometimes it's because we have a client that wants to buy our product but could we just change it a bit to fit their specific need or environment?  Well sure, we usually speak on leadership but we could probably tweak the presentation and speak on parenting.   Build a deck?  Well...sure we have a lawn care business but we could probably do that too. Sometimes it's because we just read a blog or listened to a podcast about the next best way to reach an audience and now we aren't just writing our own blog but we are also starting a podcast and learning to videotape and... Well you get the idea.  We are doing a little bit of everything and master of none.  We are spread so thin in so many areas that we've forgotten that original idea of working in our strength and following our passion. 

Three Questions

In order to create a sustainable, profitable business we need to focus our energy, our time and our resources.  Here are three important questions we need to ask ourselves:

1. What is the greatest life lesson that I have learned that I am passionate about sharing with others?   Chris Guillebeau in his book, The $100 Start-Up makes the point that we may well have some passions that it is not possible to monetize.  If you are passionate about eating pizza for instance, figuring out a way to make money with that is unlikely.  On the other hand, I can just hear Pat Flynn of Smart Passive Income suggesting creating a niche site on rating the best pizza in your area and monetizing that, so don't short change yourself on your talents and your passion.  However, you do need to be realistic about the time and additional talents necessary to monetize it. There are some hobbies that are best left a hobby because to turn them into a business would take the joy out of them. 
2. What am I doing right now that I need to drop out of because other people can do it better and I'm not passionate about it?  Have you diluted your talents?  Have you created obligations that are draining your time but don't really fit in with your mission?  Did you agree to do something temporarily that has become permanent?  Are there things you are doing that are incongruent with your plan? Are you trying to do everything when you could delegate some of the tasks that you don't really like to do?  If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then narrow down your focus and simplify your life.  Refer clients to someone else who does what they need better.  Eliminate those tasks that don't produce the desired results.  Don't be a generalist who says yes to every opportunity that comes along. Be selective.  Be excellent.  Be remarkable.
3. If I only picked three things that I would do what would they be?  Find the areas that really use your expertise and your passion.  Now set up a schedule and a plan to focus on those three areas.

Less is More 

A television show that I have watched with interest on numerous occasions is Restaurant Impossible.  In the show, chef Robert Irvine, evaluates restaurants that are on the brink of failure and not only renovates the physical space but changes everything from staff to menu options.  For each session, he typically has the cooks prepare all of the main dishes, tries them and revamps the menu.  Here is one thing he always does;  he downsizes the menu.  Instead of pages of items, he always has them create a select few items  and make them really well.  We too can learn from this scenario.

Are you trying to be a generalist or are you working with focus in your area of strength?  What do you need to let go of?  What do you need to ramp up?

Want to get help with setting goals and overcoming obstacles in your path? Sign up for the Called Woman Email list and get regular inspirational messages that will help you overcome obstacles and accomplish goals. A Called Woman

Want a coach who can help you identify and work in your strengths?  Check out my coaching packages:  Coaching packages

Looking for conferences that can change your life and renew your focus?  Check out the conferences that I recommend here:  Conferences I Recommend  Next one that I'll be attending is Kent Julian and Andy Traub's Write It Forward.  Join me there!

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Is the Obstacle in your Path a Decoy?

Apparently the reason that I planted a garden this year was to feed the neighborhood deer.  They are loving my garden.  The trouble is, I'm not loving them because they have totally killed some of my plants.  I planted a couple rows of beans which came up and were looking quite healthy.  The next day I looked and the deer had eaten them down to a single stalk.  They missed a few, but came back the next day and finished them off. Same thing with my lilies which are gorgeous when they bloom.  Here's what they look like now:

The deer have kept my tomato plants and roses trimmed down to nubs and my squash haven't fared much better.

 

I have been contemplating several fixes including a fence (too expensive), noisy pie pans fluttering in the wind (not enough wind apparently) and even chopping up Irish spring soap which I've been told will keep them away.  So far every time I think they've moved on to greener pastures, I come out to find that they have decimated some other crop.

This morning while drinking my morning coffee on my back deck, a deer sauntered up and stood staring at me.  I thought it would be a good time to explain that they have an entire forest to eat and could they PLEASE leave my garden alone.  The deer just stared at me and then bounded away.  I don't think I made much of an impact.

My New Plan

 

I'm trying out a new plan though.  While visiting Gibbs garden, I discovered they use a decoy of a coyote to keep deer away. Put out by Montana Decoy Co. it is an actual photo of a coyote which is on a stand.  I ordered it immediately.  When it arrived, I put it together and set it by my front door, ready to take it out the next time I headed to the garden. I don't know how effective it will be with the deer, but it worked really well with my dog.  She took one look at the decoy and immediately began growling and snarling at it.  She paced the floor and I believe she would have attacked it had I not removed it from her sight.

Are There Decoys in your Life?

I got to thinking about how often we as humans are waylaid by decoys in our own lives.  We see a decoy and we think it is the real thing.  We anticipate that something won't work, that something is holding us back or that there is an obstacle ahead that can't be overcome.  What if the obstacle isn't real though?  What if like my fake coyote it's a decoy and if we ignored it or walked around it or even right through it we could accomplish our goal? What if we focused on our goal, our intention instead of the boulders in our path? 

I've set a lofty goal for next year.  I plan to retire from school counseling so that I can pursue my passion for writing, speaking and coaching full time.  There are a lot of decoys in the way:  money, ability, self-confidence and mindset.  Can I recognize them for what they are?  Can I work around and through them?  I believe I can.

What about you?  What is a goal you'd like to achieve but you think there are too many obstacles in the way?  What if they are really just decoys?  Are you going to let a decoy hold you back?

Just an aside:  Luckily deer can't read and this post was definitely NOT written for them.  I am hoping if you are a deer, then your answer to the last question is "YES!"

Want to get help with setting goals and overcoming obstacles in your path?  Sign up for the Called Woman Email list and get regular inspirational messages that will help you recognize decoys and accomplish goals.  A Called Woman

Need a practical step by step plan for finding your calling and turning dreams into reality?  Check out my book: The Call: Perfect Dream, Imperfect Life

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The One Question You Must Ask Before Setting Goals

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In my last blog post, I wrote about how people often put the cart before the horse when it comes to setting goals.  There is one other thing that is important to do before you set a goal.  You need to ask yourself, "Why?"  Why do you want to achieve this particular goal?  What is the motivating factor?  Are you doing it for yourself or someone else?  Are you doing it to make money, develop a relationship or to look and feel better?  In other words just how strong and committed are you to accomplishing the goal?  Are you setting the goal because you feel you should or because you really want it?  How badly?  Maybe you want to ask, "Why do you need to know?"  Because your "why" will determine whether or not you accomplish the goal.  It is much more important than the how.

Once they've set a goal most people have some idea of how to accomplish it.  If they don't, they have an idea of how to find out.  You can find lots of books on how to eat a healthy diet or lose weight.  You can join an organization that will help you do it.  You can attend training seminars on how to be the top saleswoman in your company or how to teach children to read.  But if you don't really want to achieve it, if you don't have a strong enough "why", you'll give up when the going gets tough.  It's not willpower that you need, it's why power.

Here's an example;  Let's say I offered you twenty dollars to walk across a balance beam laying on the floor.  You'd probably give it a try.  It'd be an easy $20.  Now lets say I put the beam across two tall buildings to make a bridge.  Would you do it?  Too dangerous you say.  Probably not.  What if your child was in the opposite building which was on fire?  Would you walk across to save her?  Scary thought but I bet you'd say yes.  See what a difference the "why power" makes?

Now let's rethink those goals.  It's the power of why that is going to motivate you through the daily grind of accomplishing your goals.  Lets face it.  Whatever your goal is there are some aspects to it that are boring or difficult or intimidating.  But you can do it and you can persist if you keep your "why" out in the forefront.  This is why someone who wants to lose weight keeps a picture of a thin person on their refrigerator.  This is why someone who is getting out of debt keeps a list of their creditors on the wall and marks them off as they are paid off.  This is why someone who wants to run a marathon hangs out with other runners and develops a winning mentality.  Now that you've written down your goals, spend some time thinking about why you want to achieve them.  Develop a visual reminder to keep you focused.  This could be a quote on your screen saver, a picture on the refrigerator or a vision board on your wall.  Whatever it is, make sure you are clear on your "why power" and get ready for the journey ahead.

Have you established your goals for 2013?  Do you know your "why power"?  Do you have a way to keep this top of mind throughout your day?  I'd love to hear from you!

Want to discover how to set goals and follow your passion?  Join us for the Called Woman Conference on March 23rd!  Early bird registration is open.  Don't miss out!

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Have You Left a Gift Unopened?

This picture is one of my favorite Christmas shirts.  I bought it because I thought it was a perfect shirt for a school counselor to wear and it gives me a chuckle every time I look at it.  But doesn't it have  good message? As you look forward to the new year ahead, are you embracing your "inner elf"?  Are you sharing and maximizing your gifts and talents?  Are you working in your strengths?  

There's a lot of talk in the Christmas season about gifts.  Making a wish list of gifts, shopping for gifts, giving gifts, opening gifts... Last year I was given a gift wrapped in gorgeous paper tied up with an extravagant bow full of feathers and sparkly things.  I shook the present and carefully felt the weight of it,  all the while trying to figure out what treasure it might hold inside.  I thanked the person who gave it to me and assured them it was certainly a lovely gift and I would open it soon.  Not that day, because I didn't really have time, but some day soon, I promised the giver that I would open the gift.  I put the gift away, fully intending to open it but after a while, I forgot about the gift and only recently just about a year later, I found it hidden away on a shelf.  I almost opened it when I discovered it, but decided it was probably too late and how would I ever thank the person for the gift now? So reluctantly and sadly, I put it back on the shelf.  Maybe next year, when I have time to unwrap it and send a belated thank you card explaining the oversight, I'll do something about it but right now... well I'm busy with a lot of other urgent things.  Sound familiar?  Of course not!  Who neglects to open a gift for a whole year, never mind decides to wait even longer to see what is inside?  Yet this is exactly how we often treat our own gifts and talents.

In a recent article in the January 2013 Success magazine, Jason Dorsey, one of my favorite columnists and authors, suggests that to kickstart your year and get yourself out of a rut, you challenge yourself with a breakthrough project.  What does he mean by this?  He means doing something that you have always dreamed of doing.  He means developing a project that forces you way out of your comfort zone.  He means taking the risk of failing but pressing ahead anyway.  His promise?  The experience will change your life forever.  

For Jason Dorsey, the breakthrough project was writing the book he always wanted to write.  For you it could be starting a business, changing careers, running a marathon or overcoming a fear of public speaking.  A breakthrough project requires becoming intentional about your goals.  It means becoming focused and action oriented.  It means commitment.  It is risky but ultimately rewarding and it could change your life forever.

In this vein, I've decided to launch my own breakthrough project.  Coaching others in discovering their passion and developing their gifts has always been a dream  of mine.  This year, I've decided to become intentional and action oriented about his dream.  I'm launching my own breakthrough project of coaching.  You can read about it here:   My Coaching Breakthrough Project 

There is a story of a miser who had a valuable bag of gold coins and in order to keep them safe, he kept them buried in the backyard.  Every once in a while he would dig up the coins, marvel at his great treasure, then carefully bury them again.  One day a thief, followed him to the secret hiding place and after the owner left, he quickly dug up the treasure and stole away with it.  The owner was despondent over his loss.  A friend to console him told him, "Just bury a bag of fake gold.  You can easily dig it up periodically and marvel over it just as you did the real gold.  For all the good the bag of gold did you, a bag of fake gold will do just as well."  Seems like a heartless comment doesn't it?  But doesn't it ring true?"

Amid the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, take time to reflect on your inner self, your true gifts. Are you being true to your gifts, your strengths, your talents? Are your using them or hoarding them?  Have you developed them and put them to use for yourself, for your community, for the world?

Want to develop your gifts and work in your strengths?  Want to develop your own breakthrough project?  Join us for A Called Woman Conference and lets get started!

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Week One Of Writing My Book

Image via WikipediaI'm excited to report on the success of week one book writing.  This is of course the honeymoon period of it all and I am hopeful that I can keep the energy and the creativity flowing.  This has been quite a concern of mine bubbling just below my consciousness, primarily because I often feel stuck in my blog writing and am so afraid that block will surface in writing a book as well.  In fact, as I prepared to start the endeavor, I could feel myself stalling, creating more chores to complete before I started, just one more thing to do first and then I'll be diving in.  It is definitely an avoidance mentality that I face weekly in writing a blog but it is magnified at the thought of writing a lengthy book.

Here was the plan and how it played out:  I have a house in the Georgia mountains about an hour and a half away where I thought I would have fewer distractions.There I could focus myself on writing for 3 days this first week of my holiday break and potentially four or even more days next week.  My plan was to leave Sunday afternoon to drive there and begin fresh on Monday morning, writing all day Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. By Sunday afternoon, I was sabotaging my own plan.  I decided I had some last minute Christmas things I needed to get done and stores I needed to frequent were not open on Sunday afternoon... so I decided I would do it quickly Monday morning and leave before lunch.  Of course that didn't happen, one thing led to another and before I knew it, I made excuses that involved the compromise of writing at home on Sunday afternoon while multitasking and baking pumpkin bread!  I didn't leave until Monday afternoon around 3:00 and encountered a huge traffic accident which tied up the roadway a bit on the way.  I seriously considered turning around and heading home even though I was already 30+ minutes into the drive.  Luckily I didn't because once I arrived, I felt an immediate peace and focus of energy.  I prepared everything for an early morning beginning and then allowed myself the freedom of enjoying the evening at the mountain house to catch up on some recreational reading of blogs and watching of videos.

Tuesday  and Wednesday mornings, I was up extremely early and after my morning devotion and routine I was writing away.  I wrote steadily each morning, then spent the afternoons and evenings relaxing and refreshing some of my research through reading.  End result of two days of writing? Twenty-seven pages and 5500 words.  I'm pretty excited!

What was my lesson learned?  Make a plan that involves setting aside specific times to write.  Allow for some flexibility but don't let yourself get completely derailed.  It is so easy to get caught up in the urgent and neglect the important.  Once you've set your plan, don't allow yourself to compromise on the plan.  If you do get off track, don't give it up altogether but salvage what you can of the remaining time and continue moving forward.  Action trumps inaction every time!!!

What about you?  How do you accomplish your writing goals?  Do you set aside specific times to write?  Do you have a certain place to write?  What do you do when you get off track to get yourself refocused?

Help! I'm Writing A Book!

Image via WikipediaCharles Schultz was a genius at bringing philosophical concepts into everyday life. In one of my favorite comic strips, Lucy says to Charlie, "You know, Charlie, life is like a deck chair. Some people place their deck chair so they can see where they're going. Some turn it around to see where they've been. Others, Charlie, place their deck chair right in the middle of the action to see what's going on all around them. Charlie sighs and says, "I'm just trying to get mine unfolded." This just cracks me up!  What an astute observation and don't you just get a mental picture of all these chairs facing every which way and then there are all the folks trying to get theirs open. 


Well, I'm opening my deck chair in a new direction and it involves setting a goal for writing a book.  Yes, you read that right.  I am going to spend the next two months of this blog reporting first on setting a goal to have a book finished and in print before the  middle of March. Why did I pick that time frame?  I'm speaking at A Called Women conference March 24th and I would like to have a book ready to share at that conference.  What will be the topic of the book?  It will be about discovering your passion, setting goals, visioning the future and achieving the goals you set.  I expect writing and publishing the book will be a key example of what I'm writing about!


 In my weekly blog,  I will  keep you informed on the steps and progress that I have made.  I'm excited and a little nervous to be announcing this.   I've had it in mind for quite some time and being a school counselor, I'm about to have some significant time off for the holidays.  So far I've blocked off certain days to spend writing.  I've also reviewed all my past blogs and made a spread sheet of different examples and stories with themes.  I expect I will be able to use some of this material in the book and I wanted to have it categorized so I could find it easily.  Will I be able to stick to my plan and get the book started?  Will I be able to get it finished and in print before the conference?  Well, I'll be opening my deck chair and facing it in that direction! I'll be keeping you informed of the progress and planning involved.

The next question of course is where are you in the picture? Have you opened your deck chair? Where is it facing for the new year?

Here's a great book to get you thinking about writing and publishing the book you've always dreamed of...

Tired of Waiting For The Cows To Come Home?

Image via WikipediaI've never liked to wait much.  Waiting in doctors offices to be called on, waiting to hear from someone about the results of a job interview, waiting to find out what you made on the final exam, none of those scenarios are very appealing are they?  I am often trying to figure out if there is a way to get around the waiting part.  If I arrive early for the appointment will I get in early or just have to wait longer?  If I call about the interview, will I seem eager to work or annoyingly bothersome and impatient?  There are some situations where I know it is better to wait because then I get the information I need to make a better decision, but discerning between those situations and one where it is actually a good idea to charge ahead, well, there's the challenge.

 I recently read this quote from Elbert Hubbard, writer, philosopher and lecturer who wrote, "Parties who want milk should not seat themselves on a stool in the middle of a field in hope that the cow will back up to them."  Sometimes waiting for life to hand you whatever you are looking for is a bad plan.  In fact, chances of it happening are unlikely, much like waiting for that cow to back up to the stool.  There have been long periods in my life when I was sitting on a stool in a meadow with no cows in sight, figuratively speaking of course. Sometimes you gotta get up off the stool and start looking for cows.  Sometimes you gotta call the cows and sometimes you need to chase them down. Often, when I blast ahead without really knowing all the rules and procedures, I think later that I could have had a better product if I had spent more time researching it and  talked to more people.  Then again, sometimes I think I would still be researching publishing a book and starting a blog post if I had waited to get all my ducks in a row and to feel really competent and ready. To accomplish that feeling you have to do something for a long time and let's face it... whenever you start something new, we all have to start with not knowing what we're doing.  So what about you, are you sitting on a stool hoping for a cow to pass by or are you chasing them down?