Are Your Goals Built Around Scarcity or Abundance?

 

One summer while visiting my sister in California, I discovered that there was no toilet paper in the guest bathroom.  When I brought this to my sister's attention, she said, "Oh yes, we've needed to go to the store and buy a few things and we really need to do that today!"  In the meantime a roll was relocated from another bathroom and somehow in the busyness of the day we didn't make it to the store that day or the next.  Later, I noticed what appeared to be an eight pack roll of toilet paper in an upper cabinet.  The next time the toilet paper crisis came up, (now my mother was out of toilet paper in her bathroom), I mentioned my discovery.  There was delight and surprise that there was an abundance of toilet paper in the house, all the while everyone was scrambling around and moving the scarce resource from bathroom to bathroom.  Seems like a lesson in this to me...

Create Goals From a Mindset of Abundance

As we develop our goals for the year, it's important that we create them from a mindset of abundance rather than a mindset of scarcity.  What does a scarcity mindset look like?  It's statements like, "You can't expect to generate much income in THIS economy."  or "You can't expect to find a job in THIS economy."  or "I'll never have enough time to write a book, start a blog or start up a business as long as I'm working full-time."  On the surface these statements seem to  be reality, simply a statement of fact, but in actuality they set us up to create small goals or sometimes no goal at all.  What if a down economy were actually the best time to start a new business because the competition is less and prices are lower?  What if you recognized your unique talents and promoted them to the right business for just the perfect fit job for you?  What if you eliminated the unnecessary unproductive tasks in your life and created an extra hour a day for writing or  creating that extra source of income?

Recognize the Abundance in Your Life 

We often live as though there is scarcity in our lives even though we are really living in the midst of abundance, we just don't recognize it.  I'm not just talking about toilet paper here.  Maybe we feel lonely and lost and there is really a wealth of support all around us we just haven't made our needs known.  Maybe we think we can't be successful, but we really haven't tried long enough or hard enough.  Maybe we blame our finances on a bad economy or our unemployment on a lack of jobs but we haven't recognized our true talents and gifts and applied them in the right area.  There are lots of examples of this kind of scarcity mentality and much of it has to do with our perception and our willingness to look at our world in a new and sometimes challenging way.  

What about you?  Are you living in the land of scarcity when there is really an abundance of opportunities all around?  What if you changed your mindset in a radically new way?  Are your goals based on scarcity or abundance?  I'd love to hear from you!

Want to learn more about goal setting and how to Be Do Have, even with a busy life?  Join me for a free teleseminar on February 19th with Jen McDonough!  Details are here:  Teleseminar

Want to spend an entire day learning more about following your passion and making your goals happen?  Attend the Called Woman conference in March and listen to an impressive line-up of speakers who can teach you how to take your dream to reality.  Space is limited so sign up today!!

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The Most Important Question You Can Ask To Accomplish Your Life Goals

Signed lane to Bryn Carregog If you're lost, and wondering if you're on the right road to Ty'ncornel Youth Hostel, this life-saving lane junction, with its sign to Bryn Carregog farm, will put you right. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Are you wondering what path to take in life?  Are you faced with a difficult decision that will determine your future, your life story?  Are you trying to turn your passion into reality?  According to a recent interview with Dan Sullivan in Success magazine, there is one key question that you can ask that will help you set and accomplish your goals.  Here it is:  If we were to sit down together three years from now, what would have to be in place for you to feel happy and productive about where you are in life? Let's try it... what would your answer be?  I'll tell you my answer in next week's blog.

Are You Opening Your Gifts?

Image by susansimon via Flickr
Have you ever had someone give you a gift, something wrapped in gorgeous paper, tied up with a lovely bow?   Did you shake it, turn it this way and that to try and figure out what it was?  Did you thank the person who gave it to you and then tell them you were going to open it someday, not today... but someday.  Did you put the gift away, forget about it and then eventually forget that you even had the gift at all?  Of course not,  gifts are too special to neglect them that way.

It's the time of year when people talk a lot about plans, resolutions and goals for the upcoming year.  This comes up quite a bit in the groups that I'm a part of and I'd say about 98% of the people I talk to tell me that they have no plans or goals for the upcoming year.  Why not?  Here's what I hear:

Image via Wikipedia

Jim Rohn

1. They know they won't do them anyway so what's the point?
2. They want to leave themselves open to whatever God or the Universe has in store for them.
3. They had a plan once... way too much work involved!

When we look at goals this way, we're mistakenly thinking that we're only hurting ourselves by not living more intentionally.  In reality, we cheat not only ourselves but those who would benefit from us  opening  and using our gifts to make a difference in the world.  We live a life that is ordinary, not extraordinary, average not excellent.  Are you opening your gifts today?

If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan.  And guess what they have planned for you?  Not much...

Jim Rohn

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Are You Feeling Bald?

Image via WikipediaYou gotta love kids.  I was recently teaching a class on feelings and the book I was reading had the line in it... "Are you feeling bold?".  I've learned never to assume that children know what I am talking about, so I stopped and asked the kindergarten class if they knew what bold meant.  Being five and six year olds they of course did.  The child I called on confidently replied "You know, it's when you have no hair."

I thought about this story as I worked on my yearly goals.  A couple of them involve stepping way out of my comfort zone and I'm having a hard time getting past that.  What concerns me?  Failure and rejection to name a few DEVASTATING  feelings. Certainly is hard to quiet that negative voice inside, isn't it?  What does it take to make a difference in the world though?  Taking a calculated risk?  Sailing in new seas?  Feeling bald...I mean bold?

Do You Have A Goal? Are You Making Progress?

Every year my Friends in Faith Sunday School class goes on a fall retreat to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee where we rent a gorgeous house, eat too much, read, shop, and fellowship. It is a wonderful time that we all look forward to. The house we rent sits on top of a mountain and there is a winding steep road that travels straight up the mountain to the house. During our stay, several of us usually decide to walk down and then back up the mountain road in order to get a bit of exercise. No doubt we were feeling guilty about the number of calories we had consumed when we made the decision. Walking down is always really scary for me because the road is so steep that I immediately begin worrying about whether or not I will be able to hoof it back up. Then we reach the bottom and begin the trek back up. Strenuous is an understatement when describing the hike back up the hill. Soon my heart rate has doubled if not tripled and my breathing is labored. In order to make it back up, my friends and I begin saying things like, “We’ll rest at the next driveway, the next telephone pole, the next tree.” That worked for a while until we were really gasping for air, at which point we began promising ourselves various treats upon completion of our walk…brownies, fudge, cake. Yes, we did finally make it, although every year …we think we never will.


Accomplishing the goal of walking up the mountain, always reminds me of the necessary steps to accomplishing other life goals. A basic requirement for both is that you need a long range goal to inspire you and short term goals to keep you going. Envisioning the end result is a great motivating factor. So is having a friend to encourage you on. Once you have all these things in place, you have set yourself up for positive results. Here’s the other great thing; once you’ve accomplished your goal, you’re likely to do again and the next time it will be a little easier. Add to that the fact that the sense of accomplishment acts as inertia to motivate you forward and you have got a winning plan.

Just Right Is Really Just Wrong

I just reread my previous post and saw a phrase that I thought I ought to reword.  I ended the post by saying that if if I followed my GPS Life system, I would arrive at my destination without making any mistakes.  That was my C personality speaking there.  How I love it when I can accomplish goals without mistakes!  Unfortunately that only happens in fairytales...

When I was a little girl, my favorite fairy tale was Goldilocks and The Three Bears. You remember the story don't you?  She sits in one chair and it is too big and she sits in one chair and it is too small and she finally sits in another chair and it is JUST RIGHT!  I can't tell you how strongly I identify with this little girl who is trying to get everything in her life 'just right'.  So when I noticed that I had ended the last post with the idea that following a certain path would take me to my destination without any mistakes, I had to back up and remind myself how unrealistic that is. After all, even Goldilocks had to try out a few options before she got it just right.

Recognizing that achieving a goal takes several tries, dare I say, several mistakes is important because it gives us permission to try different options and to be okay with possible failure.  Sometimes in our haste to get to the end result we forget this fact.  An unwillingness to fail can result in an unwillingness to try and ultimately an unwillingness to move beyond the status quo. Taking a calculated risk is necessary to win.  Being concerned with getting everything JUST RIGHT is really...JUST WRONG.

Where Are You Going? Developing Your GPS System

I have no sense of direction.  This has been an issue for me my entire life.  I could tell you story after story of getting lost and winding up in the wrong location altogether.  Once I got on a bus going the wrong way and my mother had to come and pick  me up at a far away bus stop when I was supposed to be traveling closer to her.  Once, recently mind you, I left a Halloween party and drove for at least 45 minutes just trying to get out of the neighborhood and find the main road. Once I was headed to North Carolina and wound up (I'm not making this up) in Tennessee.  Of course the states are rather close together...aren't they?  I used to wish that someone would invent a device that could talk to me while I was driving and give me the correct directions.  I guess someone else had the same dream because--- voila!  Now there is the greatest invention ever called the GPS.  I've wanted one for a long time but only recently found the money in my budget to purchase one.  After years of getting lost and discovering new destinations that I didn't even know existed and didn't know I wanted to find, I can now get to where I want to go without mistakes.

This issue of having direction applies to our lives in more ways than just traveling.  Most of us travel through the days of our lives without giving much thought to the direction we are going in, never mind the destination we hope to arrive at. Recently, I have been trying to program my life GPS system to  guide me in the direction of my life goals.  In order to get a start on this, I spent 3 days last week attending a Speaker's Bootcamp, put on by the nationally known speaker, Kent Julian.  It was an awesome, inspiring seminar full of practical information about launching a speaking career.  Now if I can just listen to my internal GPS and put that information into practice, I should be able to arrive at my destination without taking a detour through the wrong state...

If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.

--David Campbell

Recycling Possums

Cover via Amazon Recently my daughter was taking the dogs out and she noticed they were extremely interested in the recycling bin that I keep outside near the trash can. They were sniffing and barking excitedly. Upon closer inspection, she realized that a baby possum had somehow crawled inside the bin and then couldn’t get out. She called to tell me about it at work. My comment? “I didn’t know we were recycling possums.”


This got me to thinking about the negative things in our lives that we often recycle. Remember that decision to restrain from gossip? Just couldn’t help telling that one juicy story, right? Or remember the resolution to be optimistic and not drag yourself down by focusing on the negative? Did you stick with it? Or the hundreds of times we decide to exercise more or eat healthy? Within the hour sometimes we are back to the old easy way of doing things. What happens to that resolve? Is it just a matter of no willpower?

More likely it is a matter of a lack of focus and goal setting. Focus comes from our mission statement or purpose. Goals need to be measurable with many smaller goals leading up to the larger vision or life forming goals. Most people approach setting goals as they would approach writing New Year’s Resolutions. They are dreams with no foundations to hold them up and they soon crumble under the weight of everyday living.

On January 22, 2011, Carol Bass and I will be leading a one day workshop on Visioning at Kennesaw United Methodist Church. Based on the book The Path by Laurie Beth Jones, participants will be developing their own personal mission statement and vision. It should be a day of fun, fellowship and creative thinking. Join us! And stop recycling those possums!

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the path; walk in it.”

--Isaiah 30: 21

Visualize Your Goal

San Francisco  is a gorgeous city with incredible views and lovely old homes that are so close together on such steep streets that owning or renting somewhere with it's own parking space is rare. For the most part, people park on the streets. If you do have a garage, there is a high probability that someone desperate for a parking space at any price, will park in front of your driveway and block you in.  One of my favorite messages of all time was spray painted on someones garage door in San Francisco.  It said, "Visualize being towed".  I bet that was quite effective in keeping the driveway clear!

I've written a lot in previous posts about goal setting.  It is the foundation of achieving your dream.  The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan and in the process of setting a goal, you begin the planning stage of achieving your dream.  Your goal should be realistic but still challenging.  It should be measurable with clear definition and a time frame for accomplishing it.  Here's an example of a goal that I am just about to accomplish:  Write and publish a children's book within one year.  Once you have the goal written what do you do with it?  Visualize that goal.  Write it daily IN THE PRESENT TENSE and as you write it VISUALIZE accomplishing it.  Here's how I have written this goal in my journal for the past year:  I am an author who is publishing and selling books.  What happens when you write in the present tense?  Eventually it becomes who you are.  Your goal is no longer something far out in the future, an unreal dream.  Instead it becomes literally who you are and taking the steps each day to accomplish the goal becomes natural.  What is initially awkward become ingrained.  As you identify your goals, keep visualization in mind as a powerful tool.

Ask and it shall be given you;
seek, and you shall find;
knock and it shall be opened to you.
-Luke 11:9

Are You A 3% Wannabe?

Another stimulating and enlightening discussion in our 48 days class tonight!  The topic was goals and I have written a lot about goals in previous blogs.  If you want to hear the amazing thing that happened when we were discussing goals in the previous class, go back and read my post from October 9, 2009 about Setting Goals and Cycling at the Gym. 

We all agreed that goal setting is challenging but necessary.  So what keeps us from setting goals?  Goals make us vulnerable.  It means taking a stand and letting others know what we are about.  It means setting the stage for success or failure.  It means being decisive.  It means taking action even when you aren't positive that it is the right action.  There are certainly many obstacles to goal setting, but as Betsy shared in the study of business school graduates, there are some very good reasons to overcome those obstacles and do it anyway. Those graduates who set goals had a higher income than those who didn't set goals and the 3% who not only set goals but WROTE THEM DOWN made the highest income of all. 

Here are a few suggestions for goalsetting:  Pick two or three of your primary goals and WRITE THEM DOWN EVERYDAY in your dream journal.  Write them in the PRESENT TENSE.  Make a list of everything that you can think of that you need to do to accomplish your goals.  Prioritize the list into a plan. Do something everyday to  move closer to accomplishing your goal.  So, do you want to BE in that 3%?  Or are you just a 3% wannabe?

Are You Getting Newer Every Day?

In an effort to motivate her young charge to move more quickly, my friend challenged him in a race.  When he won with very little effort, he announced, "I won because I'm newer than you are!" She had to agree, he was a lot newer than she was.

As a counselor, I frequently work with  motivation and goal setting.  I find that most of us are resistant to everything about setting goals.  I've had some tell me that they've quit setting goals because they never work.  I've had some tell me that they just don't know what goals to set.  I hear a lot of 'yes buts' and 'if onlys' in regards to setting and accomplishing goals.  I must admit, I've been there myself.  Until recently, I only had vague ideas of what I wanted to accomplish as well.  In the past year however, I have not only written a mission statement which has helped to focus my efforts but I have also set a goal of publishing one of the children's stories that I have written but had in a drawer for years.  The amazing thing about setting a goal and making progress toward accomplishing it, is that the process itself encourages you to set more goals and begin working toward other goals.  Action in and of itself is a positive force.  It causes you to think and make decisions.  It increases the potential for moving in the direction of accomplishing the goal.  Even if you are not successful in accomplishing the goal, a lot is learned in the process. Setting goals means that you challenge the status quo.

I've recently been listening to a CD by Jim Rohn called The Art of Exceptional Living. He makes the statement that the best way to get ahead is to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. He says if you work hard on your job you can make a living but if you work hard on yourself you can make a fortune. I had to give this some thought. What he is NOT saying is quit working so hard on your job. What he is saying is, in addition to working hard on your job, put effort into improving yourself. Reading books and writing in a journal are two of the suggestions he has for improving yourself. When you work harder on yourself than on your job you are making yourself newer everyday! When you are new and improved you have a better chance of being a winner and accomplishing your goals!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;  the old has gone, the new has come!  2Corinthians 5:17

Maybe You Should Be More Specific

I was cleaning out some drawers recently and found one of my favorite Mother's Day cards of all time. The front of the card says, "Mom, remember when you told me you wanted me to grow up and be somebody?" When you open the card it says," Maybe you should have been more specific." I love this sense of humor but there's really more to it than just a funny punch line. The fact is, that whether we are inspiring our children, setting goals for ourselves or interacting with co-workers in the workplace, being more specific is actually a good idea. Accountability is the buzz word of the year but along with it is setting measureable goals. Somehow, in my experience, this is something that most people seem very reluctant to do. We like to talk about goals in a vague and general way. We like to get all involved in the process but don't want to take time to revise it. We like to talk with authority about how this or that plan or strategy isn't working, but when we are held accountable with facts, no one much wants to take the time or effort to put them together and analyze them. We'd rather rely on our own intuition and perception of the problem rather than focusing on solutions. Many times as a counselor when I suggest a possible solution, the first reaction is 'yes, but I've already tried that and it doesn't work.' When you get right down to the facts though, what this really means is "I made a half-hearted effort for a minimal amount of time and just as I expected I did not get the 100% change in behavior that I want and expect so I quit doing it." Are you able to change your behavior that quickly? I'm not. Real change, real accomplishment of goals takes time and consistent effort. Oh yes,and if you really want to become the person you have in mind, maybe you should be more specific...

Birds! Birds! Nano Wrappers Are Good!

A good friend's daughter has a three year old who calls banana peels, 'nano wrappers'. This is pretty funny in itself but the story she told me recently is hysterical. Apparently while riding in the car and eating a banana, Walter's mother took the 'nano wrapper' and tossed it out the window. Walter having been taught never to throw anything out the window was horrified at his mother's actions and in great distress,told her she shouldn't do that. She explained to him that banana peels are good for the earth and animals might eat them so it really was not bad to throw 'nano wrappers' outside. He considered this new information for a few seconds, then leaned out the window and hollered , "Birds! birds, nano wrappers are good!" She laughed so hard, she had to pull off the road.

Don't we all need a little encouragement like that from time to time? Someone to remind us of what is really good for us? Sometimes the most obvious habit or goal or routine is good for us but we get out of synch and before we know it, we have crowded it out with insignificant busyness. I must admit that until recently my only goal for each new year was to do my best and enjoy life. Nothing wrong with the intention but it isn't too specific is it? As you established your goals for 2010, did you make them specific and measurable? Or did you skip the goals altogether and just plan on more of the same? Beginning with the end in mind and establishing the steps for getting there, means that you will accomplish your goal. I like this quote from A.R. Bernard who says "If you don't have a vision for the future, then your future is threatened to be a repeat of the past." Turns out setting goals and having a vision for your future is good for you. Oh yes, just like nano wrappers are good for the birds!

Are There More Presents?

A young mom recently told me about her Christmas day experience with her three year old. "She loved opening her gifts but she didn't really want to play with them once she got them opened," she said. "She just kept asking, 'Are there more presents?'" I think this child is much like many of the adults I know, myself included. We enjoy the surprise and newness of a project but lose interest once we must follow through and take action to reach our goal. We can list lots of ideas, goals, New Year resolutions but determining the steps to reach them and then actually taking those steps--there's the challenge! It's easier just to keep opening those gifts, setting those goals.

Brian Tracy in his book Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time, identifies seven steps to achieving goals. It is one of the best action oriented plans I've seen. Here are the steps:



1. Decide exactly what you want
2. Write it down
3. Set a deadline
4. Make a list of everything that you can think of that you need to do to achieve your goal
5. Organize the list into a plan
6. Take action on your plan immediately
7. Do something every single day to move toward your goal.

Notice that step #6 is "take action on your plan immediately". Here is where I fear many of us become lost. We can identify that New Year's Resolution, write it down, even set a deadline but the last two steps are critical to accomplishing the goal. Also, notice that it doesn't say 'take the right or best or (my downfall) perfect action.' It just says TAKE ACTION! Pretty simple, huh? You can always correct action that is nonproductive. You can fix mistakes. But a goal with no action in any direction is worthless. Much like looking for more presents to open when you haven't taken the time to enjoy the ones you have. Life is a gift. Open it. Enjoy!

Vanda-lizards and eating frogs

There is an aunt on my husband's side of the family, who never fails to amuse me with her southern country speech. One day while talking to her about walking in a local park, she began complaining about the damage done by vandals in the area. "You just can't have anything nice anymore," she said, "without the vanda-lizards destroying it." Vanda-whats? Lizards?

While I am dismayed by the destruction of vanda-lizards in our community, I am equally concerned about internal vanda-lizards that sabotage our best laid plans. Most of these are subtle and disguised. Probably one of the worst vanda-lizards is a lack of clear goals. I must admit this has been a vanda-lizard that I misunderstood until recently. Since, I was quite productive and was checking things off my to-do-list regularly, I felt confident I was moving forward. Accomplishments however,in and of themselves, are not always the desired end result. Although, I seemed to be making progress, I was drowning in the small details of my list, instead of setting priorities and focusing on the bigger picture. It is easy to feel accomplished when you are checking off laundry and grocery shopping all the while bigger and more significant goals like spending time with my family, writing regularly, even daily prayer go unmet. It is possible to be highly organized and focused, energetic and productive but all in the wrong direction, much like someone who heads toward California by way of Florida. You can check off a lot of landmarks along the way but you may never arrive at your destination.

I recently read a quote from a first time author who said, "Every year I would set the goal of publishing my work, but life kept getting in the way." I could have said that myself, except that if I were being honest, I would say that the vanda-lizard of insufficient priority setting got in the way. One of my greatest struggles has been making sure that my focus and energy is directed toward the top 20% of my to-do-list while letting go of the 80% of the list which may be easy to accomplish but not truly significant. Mark Twain once said, "If you eat a frog first thing in the morning, the rest of your day will be wonderful." In other words, first complete the most difficult and most significant task of your day, and the remainder of your day will follow in the right direction. This of course is easier said than done. So what about you? Are you making progress on your major goals? Have you set priorities? Are you eating frogs, or letting the vanda-lizards sabotage your priority setting?

Cycling at the Gym and Goal Setting

It is Monday evening and I am meeting with my 48 Days Group. We are discussing setting goals and there is a lot of resistance and skepticism. When faced with setting goals in so many areas, the task ahead seems overwhelming. Most participants acknowledge that though they may have an organized to do list or an idea of where they would like to be in 5 years, no one has actually practiced this goal setting technique. Coincidentally, just that afternoon while riding the exercise bike at my gym and reading Brian Tracy's book, Time Power, I had happened upon several of his ideas about goals and how to accomplish them. In particular, he had recommended writing down your goals and rewriting them daily while visualizing the goal. I share these ideas about goals with the group and although they seem interested, I can tell they are not convinced that this isn't just a bunch of psychological hoodoo that has little relevance for them. One participant says she sets goals all the time and even puts them on the bulletin board at work. Months later when she has made no progress, she rips them off the board and makes the goal of never setting goals again. We all laugh, end the meeting and I wonder if they will take any of the suggestions to heart. Nevertheless, I begin writing my goals daily and visualizing that they are accomplished. Literally the next day, I am again at the gym on the exercise bike with Brian Tracy's book sitting in front of me. A man I have never seen before stops and says, "I followed his advice after reading his book and won a trip to Hawaii." I am intrigued and ask for the details. It seems that he had set a goal of a trip to Hawaii with his wife and with great skepticism, began writing the goal down daily and visualizing it. Soon after, he saw a magazine he had never seen before called Islands, bought it and found a contest in the magazine for a romantic getaway to Hawaii. He wrote up his ideas, included a few rose petals and won the contest for himself and his wife! Afterwards he wrote to Brian Tracy and expained to him how his goal setting ideas had led to the accomplishment of his goal and a trip to Hawaii. I tell him that I can't wait to share his experience with my group! Who would have thought that you could get so much insight while biking at the gym? Jeremiah 29:11