WATTS WORKS

Planned Neglect

2012-02-11T11:13:00.000-05:00

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This is one of my all time favorite counselor stories. I was teaching a kindergarten class about safety rules and I asked the students for some examples. I got the usual; wear your seat belt in the car, stay seated on the bus, don't run in the halls etc. Then I called on one little girl who told me in her most serious voice that “you should never, ever run in the bathtub."

I think running in the bathtub though is a great description of the way many of us approach goal setting and goal accomplishment. We’re expending a lot of effort; we're slipping and sliding in constant motion but getting nowhere. Sometimes it helps just to take a deep breath and refocus.

One of the most useful techniques that I have found for accomplishing goals is planned neglect. It is certainly not a natural approach for me but it is definitely successful when I use it. It very simply means that I plan to ignore or neglect those tasks that call so loudly to me but that interfere with achieving my goals for the day. What sort of things are these? For me, these are simple, compelling things that on the surface seem seductively quick and easy to do. For example, checking my email, emptying the dishwasher, putting in a load of clothes and a myriad of other things that I think I will quickly complete before I get on with the big important task at hand. I can occupy myself endlessly with the little tasks, convincing myself that I am accomplishing much because I am checking so many things off my to do list. At the end of the day however, when I allow myself to be sucked into this vortex of activity, I have accomplished much of little significance. Often, one small task leads to another and before I know it the time has disappeared and there is something that I really feel I must do that causes me to put the major goal aside for yet another day. There is an appointment to make or it is mealtime and I must prepare and eat something. The day has been lost in a wasted effort.

Here’s how I have tackled this problem. First thing in the morning I spend some quiet time identifying my primary, gotta-do-it goal. Often, this is a blog to write, a marketing effort to plan and execute or most recently writing a few chapters of my book. During days when I am not on my regular day job, I schedule the first block of time in the morning to accomplish this task. I do not allow myself to even look at email, or begin any household chores first. These are danger areas for me where time can vanish before I even recognize it and I am left with a wasted day. Once I have finished about 90 minutes of focused time on my goal, I then take a break and allow myself to do something that is very time limited before I get back to work. This might be making a cup of tea and starting a load of clothes in the washer. Things like reading email though are out. I am easily lost in the vast world of the internet if I allow myself to even peek at one!

I repeat this process until I have accomplished the goals I have set for the day. Once I have done so, I then can delve into things that may seem urgent but that will overpower my primary goal if I focus on them first. I have found the technique of planned neglect to be one of my most powerful tools in my arsenal of goal setting. It certainly keeps me from running in the bathtub!

What about you? How do you accomplish the most important tasks in your life?

Help Me Choose A Book Cover!

2012-01-29T06:46:00.002-05:00

While I am still adding some content, editing and revising the book that I began in December, I have completed the major portion of it and I am moving into the really exciting part of choosing a cover for the book. The book is about finding your calling, discovering your passion and setting goals to achieve your dreams. It includes some of my personal story of recovering my dream of being a writer and following through on accomplishing the publishing of two children's books, Wyatt The Wonder Dog

Here is an excerpt from the upcoming book:

From the back seat of the car, I heard our five year old friend, McKenzie, calling out repeatedly, "Helen! Helen!" We were on the way to the museum to see a frog exhibit and I was riding in the front seat with my oldest daughter who was driving. Since no one in the car was named Helen, I paid her little attention and assumed it must be part of a conversation she was involved in with my younger daughter who was in the back seat with her. When she simply became louder and more insistent, I finally turned and asked her, "Who are you talking to?" Imagine my surprise when she said, "I'm calling you!" Helen? What? After some detective work, we discovered that she had heard other people calling me "Hey, Lynne" and concluded my name must be… Helen.

Do you ever feel that you are being called by a different name? Do you ever feel that you are stuck in your current job, routine or lifestyle but that really something, someone, perhaps even your inner self is calling you to something new? Maybe you are unsure of the direction, but you are aware of a certain discontent, uneasiness with your current life? Or perhaps, you have a pretty clear idea of the direction, you just don’t know the path to follow to get there? Could God be calling you in a new way with a new name? Maybe He is calling you by the name of teacher or comforter when you have been accustomed to a different role. Maybe you are being called to be a leader or peacemaker.

Never forget that you are truly a called woman! We are all called to be a creator in some arena. For some of us that is writing or painting or creating an environment through interior design. For some of us, that is being a creative thinker and doer in the marketplace or business. For some of us that is being a relationship builder in our families and communities. There is no role or profession that we all fall into. Yet we each possess God given gifts to make that call happen. When we don’t develop our gifts and talents, we not only cheat ourselves but we cheat the world and the community. To hear that call though, you will need to step outside the familiar and listen with new ears. You will need to seek new experiences and develop new perceptions of the old world. Otherwise, you just might miss that call altogether. "Helen, Helen, I'm calling YOU!"

Now it's your turn for some input! Which book cover do you like the best for this book? Please vote using the poll on the right side of the blog.

She Loved Everything Pink

2012-01-22T20:39:00.000-05:00

On January 19, 2012, my mom, Annie Louise Urvan passed away. Plagued by memory and physical problems for her last few years, she nevertheless leaves behind a legacy of love, generosity, beauty and an amazing sense of style.

The memories I have for her will always include the color pink. She didn't just have pink dresses, and sweaters and lipstick, she loved everything pink. I believe if she could have painted the world pink she would have. She decorated our house in pink and purple, even her sofa was a muted shade of pink. At one point in my childhood, she not only painted the kitchen pink but she also spray painted the refrigerator pink. It was definitely cause for wonder and amazement whenever my friends came over.

Throughout her life, my mom had an amazing sense of style and beauty. She loved clothes, fashion, make-up and jewelry. In her younger years, she was always dressed in the current fashion. I remember in my teenage hippie days when all of us sported white go go boots, my mom bought herself some as well. Her closets were jam-packed with clothes. Of course many of them were pink...

We moved to Florida when I was around eight years old and my mom absolutely loved the beach. She baked in the sun for hours, nurturing her tan. This of course was before the days of sunscreen and worry over skin cancer and she paid for it in later life. She loved to walk on the beach and at one time or another collected everything associated with the beach. She collected seashells, filling jars and baskets full of them. She collected drift wood and displayed it on the wall. At one point, she dug up and collected sand dollars which dried in rows on our back patio, bleaching them in the hot Florida sun. Later, she discovered a beach where she could collect sharks teeth. My step-father crafted a sifter for separating the sand out from the blackened teeth. When I began sorting through her house in the mountains of Georgia, I found jars of the sharks teeth, boxes and boxes of sea shells and sand dollars wrapped in tissue paper, all momentoes of her beach days carefully preserved in her home miles away from the ocean.

At some point, after I left home for college and career, my mom developed a love of gardening. I don't really remember her doing much of this when I was a youngster. In fact, yard work was a huge family chore with her mowing the grass and trimming bushes while my sister and I picked up the trimmings. We ALL hated the hot sweaty work of that. But my mom developed quite a backyard garden. She had fruit producing trees, orange, grapefruit and papaya. She would always bring bags of home-grown produce to Georgia when she would visit. Then there were the flower beds. Every spare inch was covered in a wild assortment of flowers blooming and vines trailing over fences. When she moved to the Georgia mountains, her first order of business was to start planting flowers and transforming the landscape. Now each season, I am surprised by the flowers that she planted that continue to bloom and grow. Right now in this warm Georgia winter, she has jonquils that are pushing up and threatening to bloom. She spent endless hours potting, replanting and nurturing her flower garden. It was truly a labor of love.

Just as she loved nurturing her flowers and creating a lovely environment around her, my mom loved nurturing her children. She was loving, encouraging and generous. She might disagree with your plans, she might give lots of unsolicited advice, but in the end she was always there to help. Once I had kids, she and my step-dad came for every Christmas and loved being part of the festivities. Mom would bring her huge containers of Chex Mix to share and whatever her current sweet obsession was. An extremely picky eater, she claimed almost everything hurt her stomach, but somehow anything sweet was tolerated. She loved cakes, cookies, ice cream and chocolate. Like a kid, her favorite part of any meal was dessert. She was never too busy to help. She baby-sat my daughters for endless hours when I returned to graduate school. She looked for things to do while visiting. Folding clothes, sweeping the porch... I could count on her to be busy working somewhere all the time. She was always eager to upgrade my lifestyle, buying me a new refrigerator, helping with the purchase of a van for easier transport of the kids. On a regular basis, she and my step-dad would arrive for weekend fixer-up projects. "Just make a list of what you want done," she would say. They'd show up and there would be a flurry of activity, hanging pictures, putting up shelves, John fixing everything and Mom supervising... and then just as quickly they'd be gone. Like the energizer bunny, she kept on giving and giving.

There are a lot of things that I will miss about my mom. But mostly I will always miss her love of beauty and sense of style, her smile, her encouragement, her generous loving spirit. Oh yes... and her love of the color pink.

Week Four of Writing My Book: Perfect Dream, Imperfect Life

2012-01-15T07:16:00.001-05:00

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Today, I met with my Emmaus reunion group. This is a special group of women that I have been associated with for over ten years. We began meeting twice a month or so following a spiritual growth weekend to support each other, counsel and challenge each other in our Christian walk. It has been an amazing journey with significant celebrations and tragedies. One of our original members lost her battle with cancer several years ago and we've had a few women who have attended for a period of time and then left, but most of the current members have been in the group since it's beginning. Each time we meet we share what has been going on with us since the last meeting. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, we always lift each other up.

As the group interacted today, I related my latest life lesson. It has been an epiphany of sorts that has come out of a year of turmoil and change. It is a simple lesson. It is an obvious lesson. It is even an old life lesson. It is a lesson that as a counselor, I often point out to others on a regular basis. Somehow though I'd never quite gotten the message myself. Here's the lesson: The only person you truly have control over is yourself. And sometimes the control you have over your own life is a challenge as well.

I think this is a particularly difficult lesson for women to learn as relates to our families. I say that because what each member of my group talks about most of the time is struggles within their families. Of course sometimes we discuss co-workers and careers or even church politics but in the end it is usually somehow related to our family and our role as mother, daughter, wife or sibling. We are often asking the group, "Am I doing the right thing? Am I approaching this with the right mindset?... the right behavior?" We each personally tend to judge our actions based on the behavior of the person we are hoping to influence. The group often helps us to have a different perception, to take a different path. The only person you truly have control over is yourself.

You might wonder what this has to do with the progress I am making on my book. Actually a lot. As I mentioned two weeks ago, I am writing the book to share my story and help other women on their journey to maximizing their gifts. I hope that we can all live a good story. But part of doing that for me is recognizing that although my story is interwoven with the lives of my family, at the end of the day the only person I am living my story for is me. If I focus on trying to create a perfect dream which for me and many women centers around a perfect family life, I am trying to control someone else's life and I am going to be disappointed every time. The only person you truly have control over is yourself. The only person who can live my good story is me.

What about you? Are you living a good story?

Progress on book:
pages: 98
words: 16, 935

Guest Post By Martha Orlando: Why Do You Write?

2012-01-08T12:02:00.000-05:00

Image by jjpacres via FlickrIt has been interesting to hear from other writers how and why they write. I asked Martha Orlando who writes Martha's Daily Devotion, if she would like to write a post on my blog about why and how she writes. Here's her inspiring post:

For this I toil and struggle with all the energy that he powerfully inspires within me.
~Colossians 1:29 (NRSV)

Writing brings me such joy and satisfaction.

Writing for others, as I do with my devotions, takes that joy and satisfaction to immeasurable heights.

Do I write because I have a gift for it? Yes. To not acknowledge and act upon a talent the Lord has given me would be to deny Him and His desires for my life.

Is it easy for me? Yes, and no. Sometimes, the words literally fly off the keyboard. Other times, I pause. I ponder. I pace. I pray for inspiration.

It always comes . . . I've learned, on those days, to have patience with myself. To rest in God's timing.

Do I write every day? No. Because there are holidays, errands, events, and obligations which demand my time and attention.

So, in crafting my daily devotions, I stay a week to ten days ahead of the scheduled posting date. That way, I am prepared when expected, or unexpected, interruptions occur.

Do I always feel “up to it” when I sit down at the computer? Heavens, no! But, I remember His commission to me. I recall His promise.

To stay by my side. As I read the scripture. Choose a verse. Meditate upon it.

And, allow Him to show me the story He wants me to tell.

He hasn't failed me. Not once.

And, I know He never will . . .

He is within my soul. He is my inspiration.

When I toil, He shares my burden.

When I struggle, He takes me in His arms . . .

It has been said that writing is one of the most lonely of professions.

I don't buy it.

For, I am never alone.

My Jesus is with me always . . .

~

When do you feel the closest to the Lord?

Prayer: Thank you, Father, for the gifts and talents you have given to us. Help us to use them for Your honor and glory. Let us ever feel your comforting presence in our lives, guiding, showing, teaching. Be our inspiration! Amen.

Thank you Martha! Here's my progress for Week Three:
Pages: 80
Words: 15, 330
Inspiration from Martha: Priceless!

Week Two: Writing A Book And Telling My Story

2012-01-01T05:15:00.004-05:00

Cover of After Me, You Come FirstLast night I met with a friend to talk about our common what-do-I-do-now mid-life-reinventing ourselves in the midst of all sorts of different life changes, conflicts and turmoil. Sara and I have had a connection from the first time we met a few years ago and it has slowly erratically with fits and starts developed into what is currently a one-on-one mutual support group for two middle-aged widowed writers who are trying to find their way through all kinds of challenges; family turmoil, joblessness, retirement, foreclosure, loss of loved ones, faith and church issues. Between the two of us we've got two life times of some pretty remarkable stories.

During the conversation, we began focusing on Sara's lack of direction in her writing. She's started a few blogs but has not been inspired to keep them going. She's published two books, The Shattered Pearl and After Me, You Come First. She's written some faith based material for church groups but isn't really sure which direction to go with it. I started asking the usual questions: Who is your target audience? What inspires you to write? What is your niche? When do you feel most in the flow? Before you think I'm such a brilliant coach, let me admit that these are all questions I've asked myself with varied success. I know where the struggle is, but that doesn't mean that I've conquered it. At some point in the conversation, she mentioned that she just has some great stories from pivotal points in her life. I asked her to tell me a couple and without hesitation she was off and running. She was right, they were amazing, interesting, unique stories. I finally said to her... "Just tell your story! Start with your story and the meaning, the purpose, the insight, the lesson will develop out of it." After all, what do audiences want to hear? to read? Do they want another self-help book on how to achieve goals? How to resolve their faith issues? How to live with a dysfunctional family? In truth, what we all want is something personal that resonates with our own lives. We want to know how someone else lived through their struggles and got to the other side. We want to know that there is light and life at the other end of the tunnel. We want to know your story because it just might also be our story.

Guess what I figured out after I got home? I wasn't just figuring that out for Sara, I was figuring it out for me as well. The question became, how can the book I am working on be more than helpful information. How can I use it to tell my story? It's a new challenge and I'm working on it... What about you? How are you telling your story? How are you sharing it with others?

Progress report: 60 pages, 12,825 words
Insight from dinner with Sara: priceless

Here are Sara's books. Read the first one to hear her remarkable story...

Week One Of Writing My Book

2011-12-25T05:30:00.001-05:00

Image via WikipediaI'm excited to report on the success of week one book writing. This is of course the honeymoon period of it all and I am hopeful that I can keep the energy and the creativity flowing. This has been quite a concern of mine bubbling just below my consciousness, primarily because I often feel stuck in my blog writing and am so afraid that block will surface in writing a book as well. In fact, as I prepared to start the endeavor, I could feel myself stalling, creating more chores to complete before I started, just one more thing to do first and then I'll be diving in. It is definitely an avoidance mentality that I face weekly in writing a blog but it is magnified at the thought of writing a lengthy book.

Here was the plan and how it played out: I have a house in the Georgia mountains about an hour and a half away where I thought I would have fewer distractions.There I could focus myself on writing for 3 days this first week of my holiday break and potentially four or even more days next week. My plan was to leave Sunday afternoon to drive there and begin fresh on Monday morning, writing all day Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. By Sunday afternoon, I was sabotaging my own plan. I decided I had some last minute Christmas things I needed to get done and stores I needed to frequent were not open on Sunday afternoon... so I decided I would do it quickly Monday morning and leave before lunch. Of course that didn't happen, one thing led to another and before I knew it, I made excuses that involved the compromise of writing at home on Sunday afternoon while multitasking and baking pumpkin bread! I didn't leave until Monday afternoon around 3:00 and encountered a huge traffic accident which tied up the roadway a bit on the way. I seriously considered turning around and heading home even though I was already 30+ minutes into the drive. Luckily I didn't because once I arrived, I felt an immediate peace and focus of energy. I prepared everything for an early morning beginning and then allowed myself the freedom of enjoying the evening at the mountain house to catch up on some recreational reading of blogs and watching of videos.

Tuesday and Wednesday mornings, I was up extremely early and after my morning devotion and routine I was writing away. I wrote steadily each morning, then spent the afternoons and evenings relaxing and refreshing some of my research through reading. End result of two days of writing? Twenty-seven pages and 5500 words. I'm pretty excited!

What was my lesson learned? Make a plan that involves setting aside specific times to write. Allow for some flexibility but don't let yourself get completely derailed. It is so easy to get caught up in the urgent and neglect the important. Once you've set your plan, don't allow yourself to compromise on the plan. If you do get off track, don't give it up altogether but salvage what you can of the remaining time and continue moving forward. Action trumps inaction every time!!!

What about you? How do you accomplish your writing goals? Do you set aside specific times to write? Do you have a certain place to write? What do you do when you get off track to get yourself refocused?

Help! I'm Writing A Book!

2011-12-18T07:31:00.000-05:00

Image via WikipediaCharles Schultz was a genius at bringing philosophical concepts into everyday life. In one of my favorite comic strips, Lucy says to Charlie, "You know, Charlie, life is like a deck chair. Some people place their deck chair so they can see where they're going. Some turn it around to see where they've been. Others, Charlie, place their deck chair right in the middle of the action to see what's going on all around them. Charlie sighs and says, "I'm just trying to get mine unfolded." This just cracks me up! What an astute observation and don't you just get a mental picture of all these chairs facing every which way and then there are all the folks trying to get theirs open.

Well, I'm opening my deck chair in a new direction and it involves setting a goal for writing a book. Yes, you read that right. I am going to spend the next two months of this blog reporting first on setting a goal to have a book finished and in print before the middle of March. Why did I pick that time frame? I'm speaking at A Called Women conference March 24th and I would like to have a book ready to share at that conference. What will be the topic of the book? It will be about discovering your passion, setting goals, visioning the future and achieving the goals you set. I expect writing and publishing the book will be a key example of what I'm writing about!

In my weekly blog, I will keep you informed on the steps and progress that I have made. I'm excited and a little nervous to be announcing this. I've had it in mind for quite some time and being a school counselor, I'm about to have some significant time off for the holidays. So far I've blocked off certain days to spend writing. I've also reviewed all my past blogs and made a spread sheet of different examples and stories with themes. I expect I will be able to use some of this material in the book and I wanted to have it categorized so I could find it easily. Will I be able to stick to my plan and get the book started? Will I be able to get it finished and in print before the conference? Well, I'll be opening my deck chair and facing it in that direction! I'll be keeping you informed of the progress and planning involved.

The next question of course is where are you in the picture? Have you opened your deck chair? Where is it facing for the new year?

Here's a great book to get you thinking about writing and publishing the book you've always dreamed of...

Have You Hidden Your Gifts?

2011-12-11T06:30:00.006-05:00

Image via WikipediaThere's a lot of talk in the Christmas season about gifts. Making a wish list of gifts, shopping for gifts, giving gifts, opening gifts... Last year I was given a gift wrapped in gorgeous paper tied up with an extravagant bow full of feathers and sparkly things. I shook the present and carefully felt the weight of it, all the while trying to figure out what treasure it might hold inside. I thanked the person who gave it to me and assured them it was certainly a lovely gift and I would open it soon. Not that day, because I didn't really have time, but some day soon, I promised the giver that I would open the gift. I put the gift away, fully intending to open it but after a while, I forgot about the gift and only recently just about a year later, I found it hidden away on a shelf. I almost opened it when I discovered it, but decided it was probably too late and how would I ever thank the person for the gift now? So reluctantly and sadly, I put it back on the shelf. Maybe next year, when I have time to unwrap it and send a belated thank you card explaining the oversight, I'll do something about it but right now... well I'm busy with a lot of other urgent things. Sound familiar? Of course not! Who neglects to open a gift for a whole year, never mind decides to wait even longer to see what is inside? Yet this is exactly how we often treat our own gifts and talents.

There is a story of a miser who had a valuable bag of gold coins and in order to keep them safe, he kept them buried in the backyard. Every once in a while he would dig up the coins, marvel at his great treasure, then carefully bury them again. One day a thief, followed him to the secret hiding place and after the owner left, he quickly dug up the treasure and stole away with it. The owner was despondent over his loss. A friend to console him told him, "Just bury a bag of fake gold. You can easily dig it up periodically and marvel over it just as you did the real gold. For all the good the bag of gold did you, a bag of fake gold will do just as well." Seems like a heartless comment doesn't it? But doesn't it ring true?"

Amid the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, take time to reflect on your true gifts and how you are using them. Are you hoarding them? Are you wishing that you had time and energy to develop them? Do you recognize what they are? Or, have you developed them and put them to use for yourself, for your community, for the world?

The Top Ten People I Am Grateful For

2011-12-04T06:30:00.021-05:00

Image by ater_unda via FlickrMy friend Ellen's grand-daughter, Carleigh, has done it again. I've written about her before and on Thanksgiving, she again proved how a three year old can permanently write her name on her grandmother's heart. When asked what she was thankful for, she responded without hesitation, "YOU!" meaning of course my friend and her Gigi, Ellen. Don't you know Gigi was pretty excited to hear that response? Wouldn't you be excited to to hear who is thankful for you?

With that in mind and in the spirit of the Thanksgiving season, I decided to write my list of the top ten people in my life that I am thankful for. Here it goes:

10. Dave Ramsey, Dan Miller, Andy Stanley, Kent Julian and other public figures who have devoted their lives to making a difference in a positive way and who have truly made a difference in mine.
9. My co-workers at Sixes Elementary. I am blessed to work in a supportive caring school where we all consider each other family. We support each other in hard times and celebrate with each other in happy times.
8. My church family at Kennesaw United Methodist Church. I have belonged to the same chuch for over 24 years and in that length of time I have made a a lot of friends. These are all people who celebrate with me in good times and who wrap their arms around me in the bad times. I am eternally thankful.
7. My Thursday 'Love Ya Like A Sista' group. We get together to share in a Bible study once a week, we vacation together, we socialize together, we support each other. We love each other like sisters.
6. My close girlfriends, Valerie, Barbara and Ellen who know me so well and love me anyway. You are the best.
5. My grandfather. He was the first writer that I knew. I am so grateful that he recognized my talent and encouraged me to develop it.
4. My sister and brothers. There is a special bond between siblings and I will always cherish this.
3. My Mom and Dad. The older I get, the more I appreciate the support, the encouragement, the sacrifices, the constructive criticism and the love that you shared to make me who I am today.
2. My daughters and my son-in-love. It's amazing the depth of love a parent can have for a child. I am so honored and privileged to be a part of their lives.
1. My God who loved me before I even knew Him and who sought me out.

What about you? What if during this season of thanks, you recognized those to whom you are most grateful for in your life? Who would that be?

Can Something Good Come Out Of Something Bad?

2011-11-27T05:00:00.003-05:00

Image by Elizabeth Albert via FlickrI was talking with a first grade teacher recently about a student in her classroom whose behavior was out of control one day to the point that she decided he needed a visit to the principal to reinforce the rules. She had to admit that she was amused however at his comment upon arriving at the principal’s door. It seems that under his breath he muttered, “I bet nothing good ever comes out of a visit here…”

Although we might chuckle at this child's perspective on the situation, I must admit that I often find myself unconsciously repeating those words in my daily life. Think about the many obstacles, disappointments and downright tragedies we each face. It might be a serious health issue, a failed relationship, a job change or loss, even the death of a loved one. Can anything good ever come out of these crises? I've been through each of the events listed above and although it takes a new perspective coupled with the healing love and support of God, family and friends, I can answer with a confident, "Yes! It is possible."

Many years ago, fresh out of graduate school, I interviewed for a school counseling job at what seemed at the time the perfect school, working for the perfect principal. We established an instant rapport and had much in common in our philosophy and goals for children. She assured me she was interested in hiring me and I went home elated and confident. Days and then weeks passed and the eventual outcome was that due to the school system, she was obligated to take a transfer from another school and I didn't get the job. I was not only disappointed but frustrated that I had turned down another offer because I had been so confident of this one. Months passed as I became discouraged at the narrowing prospects but eventually, I was hired at a school where I have remained for eighteen years. It has indeed been the perfect school for me to develop my interests and to expand my capabilities. Good truly did come out of what at first seemed disappointment.

What if we looked for not only blessings in our lives but opportunities created from disappointments, failures and downright disasters. I know this sounds crazy backward. Most of the time when things go wrong in our lives, we grieve and stew and fuss over the problem. We reassure ourselves that things will be better, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We try to fix the problem. We pray that the problem be taken away. What if instead, we were thankful, grateful even for the opportunity to make something good out of something bad? Much of this depends on how you approach the experience. Do you regard it as a failure and yourself as a loser? Do you give up? Do you get caught up in shoulds (that shouldn't have happened) and can'ts (I can't do anything about this). What if instead you decided to treat the experience as a time to refocus, perhaps in a different direction? What if you decided to learn everything you could to avoid having to go through a similar situation again? What is you decided to be a learner instead of a loser? What if you decided that something good would come out of a visit here?

What Are You Grateful For And How Do You Show It?

2011-11-20T09:04:00.001-05:00

Image by gamene via Flickr

Thanksgiving is next week and there are turkeys and pumpkins galore decorating the walls of my school. Many classes are busy having the children list the things they are thankful for and I was interested to note as I walked by one kindergarten class, that there was frequent mention of Mom and Dad, closely followed by God and Jesus. This is a public school mind you, but it doesn't keep the children from talking about their faith. Then, I was talking with a fifth grade teacher who told me about a student in her classroom. "He is such a wonderful and polite boy," she said. "EVERY day when he leaves my class he says, 'Thank you for teaching me today.'" This got me to thinking about what we could all learn from this fifth grader and his attitude of gratitude.

What if we didn't wait for Thanksgiving to roll around to list our blessings? What if we all made sure to notice the people in our lives and thanked them for their contributions, EVERYDAY? What if EVERYDAY we made sure to notice the many blessings in our lives and thanked God for the abundant life we have? I think this is a life changing concept. Firstly, it encourages those around us. Think how encouraged this teacher is with the simple action of this student expressing his appreciation. I could tell from our conversation that this lifts her spirits each day. Secondly, this positive attitude on the part of the student must encourage him to excel in his studies and reach for his goals. An attitude of gratitude not only empowers those that we thank, but it also changes us. When we are grateful and express that, it changes our focus. We develop a positive attitude. We are strengthened and motivated. We are encouraged.

The idea of keeping a gratitude journal is very popular lately. Here's a twist on that idea. Pick someone you care about and secretly keep a daily journal about things about them that you are grateful for. At the end of a year, give them the journal. The amazing thing about doing this is that it will not only encourage them, it will transform you and your relationship. Don't you think this is what the author of I John 3:18 meant when he said, "Little children, let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them and show it by our actions. Then we will know for sure, by our actions, that we are on God's side." Each day as we develop an attitude of gratitude, we are bringing light to a dark world. We are encouraging and empowering not only others but ourselves in the process. Who would have thought a fifth grade boy could have been such an example to us all?

Where Does God Live?

2011-11-13T07:01:00.000-05:00

Image via WikipediaMy friend, Ellen's grand-daughter Carleigh was telling her family about her day at preschool. "We went to chapel and heard a man talk about God," she said, "But God wasn't there." "Really?" her mom replied, "Where was God?" Without hesitation, Carleigh answered, "God lives in a cave in Alabama." You gotta wonder if Carleigh will grow up to be a comedian...

It does make one think though doesn't it? Where do you experience God? As I'm headed off to church this Sunday morning, I have to ask myself, "Will God be there?" As I drive to work tomorrow, I could ask myself, "Will I experience God there?" As I meet with friends this afternoon to plan an upcoming women's workshop, I wonder, "Will God be present during the discussion?" There's a common phenomenon where we become aware of the details that we focus on in our daily lives. Hence when you are considering buying a particular brand of car, you become focused on that brand and see it everywhere. However, when you are unconcerned about cars you fail to notice anything about the cars all around you. We become so accustomed to the routine that we lose sight of the details. So it is with God. When we fail to focus on the signs of God all around us, we become distant and unaware of His presence. But when we look for and focus on His activity in our world, we are amazed at His hand in the daily details of our lives. Did you notice the glorious sunrise this morning? God was there. Did you have a friend or coworker who lifted you up with encouragement? God was there. Did a stranger show you some kindness? God was there. So, where is God in your life? Closeby? Or living in a cave in Alabama?

How Big Is Your God?

2011-11-06T05:00:00.005-05:00

There is a lot of construction going on at Kennesaw United Methodist Church where I attend. It has been exciting to watch the changes and the project as it nears completion. One of the most thrilling changes has been the addition of a tower with a cross on the top which is being added to the front of the building. We have all marked the progress each week with great anticipation. First, the top of the tower was constructed on the ground and then once it was complete with a cross placed on top, it was raised and placed atop the tower. While the tower was under construction, the cross was originally housed in a hallway of the church. I passed by it one day and was amazed at it's size. In fact, to my rather uneducated mind, the cross looked to be way, way too big for the top of the tower. As I stood next to the cross, I remember thinking that it was almost half the size of the tower and what were they thinking...wouldn't it dwarf the tower?

However, the day I drove into the church, saw the cross towering above the church and outlined against the blue sky for the first time, I was struck by how much smaller the cross looked. It was definitely in proportion to the tower (the builder obviously knew what he was doing), but I was amazed that something that had impressed me as huge, ginormous really, could now appear so small. Then it struck me that isn't that just like our relationship with God? When we get up close and personal, when we press in close to God, when we are engaged in a relationship with Him, aren't we impressed with just how big, how amazingly vast, how huge is His love for us? And when we draw away, and view Him from afar, don't we think how small, how distant, how insignificant He is? Where are you standing in relationship to God? Might that affect how you perceive Him?

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:28-31

Want to read more? Here's a great book on just how our perceptions of God influence us:

Tired of Waiting For The Cows To Come Home?

2011-10-30T19:28:00.001-04:00

Image via WikipediaI've never liked to wait much. Waiting in doctors offices to be called on, waiting to hear from someone about the results of a job interview, waiting to find out what you made on the final exam, none of those scenarios are very appealing are they? I am often trying to figure out if there is a way to get around the waiting part. If I arrive early for the appointment will I get in early or just have to wait longer? If I call about the interview, will I seem eager to work or annoyingly bothersome and impatient? There are some situations where I know it is better to wait because then I get the information I need to make a better decision, but discerning between those situations and one where it is actually a good idea to charge ahead, well, there's the challenge.

I recently read this quote from Elbert Hubbard, writer, philosopher and lecturer who wrote, "Parties who want milk should not seat themselves on a stool in the middle of a field in hope that the cow will back up to them." Sometimes waiting for life to hand you whatever you are looking for is a bad plan. In fact, chances of it happening are unlikely, much like waiting for that cow to back up to the stool. There have been long periods in my life when I was sitting on a stool in a meadow with no cows in sight, figuratively speaking of course. Sometimes you gotta get up off the stool and start looking for cows. Sometimes you gotta call the cows and sometimes you need to chase them down. Often, when I blast ahead without really knowing all the rules and procedures, I think later that I could have had a better product if I had spent more time researching it and talked to more people. Then again, sometimes I think I would still be researching publishing a book and starting a blog post if I had waited to get all my ducks in a row and to feel really competent and ready. To accomplish that feeling you have to do something for a long time and let's face it... whenever you start something new, we all have to start with not knowing what we're doing. So what about you, are you sitting on a stool hoping for a cow to pass by or are you chasing them down?

How I Lost...And Found My Voice At Kent Julian's Speaker's Bootcamp

2011-10-15T22:00:00.001-04:00

Me and Kent Julian

It was really a treat to be back for the second year in a row at Kent Julian's Speaker's Bootcamp this week! I attended last year and was overwhelmed with the practical insight and inside information he provides to all speaker wannabees. He speaks from experience having made his name known in both the youth and the education market over the last five or so years. If you haven't heard his inspirational and energizing message for youth or educators, then you are really missing something.

Here's the irony of the seminar, I've been fighting a cold for the last week or so and woke up the first morning of the conference with laryngitis. What are the chances of attending a speaker bootcamp and not being able to speak? I kept thinking it would get better but unfortunately it did not. I'm back home tonight and still can't speak above a whisper.

Wondering how I found my voice? Well I must admit it was my inner voice that I was referring to. Part of the conference involved spending some time reflecting on our own personal message or voice. By sharing his own story of being an 'at risk kid', Kent helped all of us see that we each have something unique that we can share that will resonate with others. Of course, it helps if you have a real voice to share that story with. Maybe a little hot tea will help...

Mouse In The House--Gotcha!

2011-10-10T17:39:00.001-04:00

Guess what's in here?

I'm spending my teacher furlough day at my mom's house in Blairsville waiting on a plumber to come and fix the water pressure. So that I could be here in time for the appointment, I arrived late yesterday and spent the night. When I got up this morning, I discovered what looked like mouse droppings covering the kitchen counter and was of course quite concerned and nervous about the critter that might have left them and how on earth I was going to catch him. As I'm cleaning up the counter and preparing my morning coffee, I notice that my daughter's dog, Shady, is sniffing around and quite interested in a cooler that is sitting on the floor. I had used the cooler to bring some food to the house and after storing the food in the refrigerator, I wiped out the cooler and left it sitting on the floor with the lid propped open so it would dry out. Now I notice that the lid is closed. I put together all the clues; mouse droppings, sniffing dog, cooler top closed when it was previously open... it seems too incredible to be true, but when I open the cooler very carefully and peer inside, I find... the mouse trapped there! I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!

I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but I think I may have discovered the newest most creative way to catch critters... Here's another example that actually happened at my house last year, when my daughter was taking her dog out. She noticed Shady was extremely interested in the recycling bin that we kept outside near the trash can. She was sniffing and barking excitedly (sound familiar?). Upon closer inspection, my daughter realized that a baby possum had somehow crawled inside the bin and then couldn’t get out. She called to tell me about it at work. My comment? “I didn’t know we were recycling possums.”

So what are the common factors in each of these TRUE stories? Sniffing dog, plastic containers, trapped critters... yep, I think I might just be on to something. Here's the problem, of all the creative ways to make a living that I have conceived of in my lifetime... capturing critters isn't even on the radar. Can anyone top these critter stories? Just wondering...

Who Do You Call On InTimes Of Trouble?

2011-10-03T19:13:00.003-04:00

Image by madhavaji via FlickrIf you are stressed out, awash in personal or career problems, just suffered a major loss of any kind, or don't think you can cope another minute with life's challenges, what is the single most important thing that you can do? Develop a plan? Read a self-help book? Get a good night's sleep? Exercise? Well, all those things are definitely important but the single most efffective thing you can do is develop and rely on a social network. In other words, talk to someone who cares! Nothing relieves the pain and stress, nothing puts life in the proper perspective, nothing calms us, like a caring conversation with another person. Not only does our personal experience prove this, but study after study has shown it to be true.as well.

One example of this is a study known as "Very Happy People" where researchers investigated the characteristics of the happiest ten percent among us. They looked at wealth, geographic location, physcial ability and many other factors. What was the conclusion? The only characteristic that distinguished the happiest ten percent from everyone else was the strength of their social support system. In another study of Harvard undergraduates where researchers compared such factors as GPA, family income, SAT scores, age, gender and race with the individuals' happiness level, again the best predictor of their overall happiness was the level of social support. I bet many of you are thinking this is just common sense. We've all experienced this in our own lives.

If that is true, then why is it that when people get in crisis they actually pull away from their social network? There are many reasons : we think that we would be a burden to others, we think that no one else could understand our problems, we think that others might think less of us in some way if they knew of our problems, we think we would be gossiping or 'sharing our dirty laundry. However, I personally have found time and time again that a problem shared is a problem that loses it's power to control me emotionally. A problem shared is a problem that becomes smaller and smaller until I finally have the means or the strength to cope with it myself. So what about you? Are you sharing with your circle of family and friends in times of trouble?

What If You Could Lose Weight Just By Thinking?

2011-09-25T06:18:00.000-04:00

I know you are wondering if you read that right. Probably your next thought was, "Sign me up!" In a research study involving the cleaning staff of seven different hotels, researchers were able to prove that you could lose weight just by thinking. In the study, half of the employees were told how much exercise they were getting every day through their work. For instance, they were told how similar vacuuming is to a cardio workout and how many calories they burned with various cleaning tasks. The other half of the employees were not given the same information. Several weeks later the employees who were educated about the benefits of their job were found to have... ACTUALLY LOST WEIGHT! In addition, their cholesterol had dropped. If you're like me, you're feeling a little skeptical about the results right? According to the study though, the individuals had not done any more work, nor had they exercised any more than the control group. They had simply changed the way they thought about their work. WOW!

This study is reported in the amazing book, The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. It is just one of many examples of how powerful our minds are and how we can take charge of our lives through our thoughts. Who would have thought that you could lose weight just by how you think about the activities that you are already doing? This is just one example of how we can change our worlds just by changing our thinking and thus our perception. So, who wants to lose weight just by changing their thinking? Wonder how many calories I'm burning writing this blog...

What If The Miracle Is You?

2011-09-19T08:19:00.003-04:00

Have you ever had someone walk into your life at just the right moment? Have you ever had a friend call, just when you needed some support and encouragement? Have you ever had an experience in your life that was so disastrous, so tragic, that you thought it would take a miracle to repair it? Have you ever experienced a blessing so grand, so beautiful, so wonderful that you thought it was a miracle that it happened at all?

I am reminded of an extremely terrifying time almost ten years ago, when my youngest daughter, Hayley, was involved in an accident where she was thrown from the car as it rolled off our steep driveway and plunged over an embankment. There were several miracles here; the biggest one was that the car didn't crush her and that she survived at all! The next twenty-four hours though were filled with miracles of human intervention; our pastor who showed up in the emergency room after being up all night with a police patrol, Hayley's drama teacher, who just happened to be working her shift in the emergency room at Scottish Rite hospital and who not only comforted and reassured us of the outcome, but who prayed with me and calmed my nerves, the surgeon who immediately knew what to do, took Hayley right into surgery and with his skilled hands, had her moving a leg that she couldn't lift an hour before.

I doubt there are many of us who have lived such bland, such uneventful lives that we can't relate to times in our lives when we experienced miraculous interventions of some kind. However, often in the midst of our daily lives, they are difficult to see. We often become so lost in the urgent details of our lives, that we overlook the important. It takes a peak experience or a tragic experience for us to recognize the miracles around us all the time. There are miracles of birth and rebirth, miracles of love and forgiveness, miracles of courage and generosity.

Most of the time we tend to think of miracles as something external that happens to us; something that is created by or through someone else which we rather passively enjoy and experience. Here's a different way to think about miracles though... what if the miracle is you? What if you have the capacity to be the miracle in someone else's life? What if someone is just waiting for you to speak, to act, to bless them in some way with something that only you can do or share? What if rather than trying to recognize the miracles around you, you were actively being a miracle for others?

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle.
--Phillips Brooks, U.S. Episcopal bishop

The Law of Pinocchio vs. The Law of the Harvest

2011-09-11T19:58:00.004-04:00

I was attending an ice cream social with some friends today and it brought back memories of one of the worst choices I ever made about ice cream. You see, I love ice cream. I love all kinds and all flavors of ice cream, but my favorite ice cream is coffee ice cream. When I was little, and my family would go to Farmer's Dairy in Winston-Salem, North Carolina for an ice cream treat, I would always get coffee ice cream. Then I would let it melt a little, stir it up until it was liquid and sip it from the bowl as I pretended it was a cup of coffee. I know... I was easily amused as a kid.

In any case, when I was a twenty-something year old, I went with a friend to Baskin Robbins and we decided in place of lunch (that was our first bad choice), we would order something called an earthquake. I don't know if they still have this on the menu but it was a huge dish of about 8 scoops of ice cream covered with chocolate syrup, nuts, whipped cream... pretty much everything they had. It was a monstrous dish and as I recall we ate the WHOLE THING! By the time we left the ice cream shoppe and walked a few stores over... I was in serious trouble. I remember begging a movie theater to let me in so I could get to the bathroom in the nick of time. I'll spare you the personal details but suffice it to say, thirty something years later... I HAVE NEVER TRIED TO EAT A WHOLE EARTHQUAKE AGAIN!!!!!

That's an example of The Law of Pinocchio. Whenever Pinocchio lied, his nose immediately grew longer. It was impossible not to understand the cause and the effect of his behavior. When we do something and suffer immediate consequences, we tend to learn our lesson and not repeat that behavior again. There's other situations that are good examples of this as well. For instance, touch a hot stove, burn your finger, and I'll bet you never try that again. Unfortunately, though most of our experiences in life don't follow The Law of Pinocchio. If they did, we'd probably learn our life lessons faster and remember them longer. Instead, most of our life lessons follow The Law of the Harvest.

Here's how The Law of the Harvest works; you plant something today, you tend it (or maybe not), and later (maybe even MUCH later), you reap what you sow. We're all familiar with this experience but that doesn't mean we give it much credence in our day to day lives. Consequently, it sure does make it hard for us as impatient, forgetful self-centered human beings to learn the things that we need to know to be successful. We tend to make our choices about careers, finances and relationships based on The Law of Pinocchio instead of the Law of the Harvest. If it feels good today, if we don't suffer consequences today or if we want instant gratification, we do what we want now... ignoring the fact that somewhere down the road we are going to reap what we have just sown... for good or bad. What about you, are following The Law of the Harvest or The Law of Pinocchio? Remember, although the grass may be greener on the other side... it still has to be mowed!

Be A River Not A Reservoir

2011-09-06T06:00:00.008-04:00

One of the teachers I work with told me about how her child had reported to her after a lesson on saving the environment, that smelly feet cause world wide pollution. While we might all agree that smelly feet could stink up our personal environment, it's hard to imagine this being a global problem that would have been discussed in a first grade class. After a little investigation, it turns out the student had learned about 'carbon footprints' and how we all leave behind pollution in our wake... Note to self: always check out that students are learning the concepts I am teaching!

This example got me to thinking about a recent article I read by John Maxwell, one of the premier teachers on leadership and being a positive influence in the world. In the article,entitled, The Two Greatest Days of Your Life, he makes the statement: "Highly successful people know their purpose in life, grow to their maximum potential and sow seeds that benefit others. They don't live for themselves. They're a river, not a reservoir. They understand what significance is. Significance is adding value to others." This concept is so powerful. It encourages us to move beyond the importance of finding our purpose and following our dream. It encourages us to move into how we can benefit and add value to the lives of others. If becoming all we can be destroys others and costs us relationships, then we are being self serving and self-centered. Maximizing our God given gifts and talents should not just satisfy us and give us a sense of purpose and happiness. It should benefit others as well. Think about it... Are you a river or a reservoir?

Are You A Loser... Or A Learner?

2011-08-29T15:01:00.000-04:00

I was talking with a teacher recently about a student in her classroom whose behavior was out of control one day to the point that she decided he needed a visit to the principal to reinforce the rules. She had to admit that she was amused however at his comment upon arriving at the principal’s door. It seems that under his breath he muttered, “I bet nothing good ever comes out of a visit here…”

Contrary to his prediction though, something good did come out of the visit. He now knows his boundaries and his behavior has improved. One of the hardest lessons to learn in life, for adults as well as children is that although bad things happen to us, something good can come out of a bad experience. Can you think of a time in your life when it seemed that everything was lost? Your hard work didn’t pay off? Your life had taken a turn for the worse? You felt like a failure? You were rejected by family or friends? Looking back on that experience from today’s perspective, do you feel that it became a turning point for a more positive life … that it guided you down a different path to a different goal but that you have ultimately been blessed by the change? Much of this depends on how you approach the experience. Do you regard it as a failure and yourself as a loser? What if instead you decided to treat the experience as a time to refocus, perhaps in a different direction? What if you decided to learn everything you could to avoid having to go through a similar situation again? What if instead of a loser… you decided to be a learner?

What If You Began Your Day With Adventure Time Instead Of Quiet Time?

2011-08-04T05:59:00.003-04:00

Here's an idea that I love: What if you began your day with adventure time with God instead of quiet time with God? What would be the difference? Here's five reasons to think about beginning your day this way...

Adventure focuses on action rather than waiting for things to happen. Ask yourself, "What can I do today to move closer to my goals? to God's plan for my life? to create God's kingdom here on earth?
Adventure opens our minds and our hearts to new possibilities. It opens our eyes to the miracles around us rather than the humdrum sameness that we take for granted.
Adventure engages the other people in our lives in our plans and activities. It enriches and expands our relationships.
Adventure overcomes timidity and fear of change through our perception. Think about moving from one community to another in terms of loss and saying good-bye. Now think of moving in terms of meeting new friends and having new experiences... see what I mean?
Adventure provides challenge and keeps us interested and motivated. It energizes us and keeps us growing and learning.

Now I know that we all need some time to be still and know God, but what if we also planned some adventure time to run and play with God? What if we started our day with adventure time instead of quiet time with God? What would you do differently? How would that affect your day?

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming----Wow...What a Ride!

- Robert Wickman -

How Are You Making A Dent In The Universe?

2011-07-26T11:30:00.002-04:00

I recently finished reading a great book called Rework by Jason Fried & David Heinemeier Hansson, the founders of 37Signals. The book is an inspiring and motivating look at the world of work. It especially focuses on structuring a successful business and on innovative ways to create an environment where people not only work well but thrive along with the business.

One of the many intriguing chapters is called "Make A Dent In The Universe". The authors say that to do great work you must feel that you are doing something worthwhile and meaningful within your world and your work. Not all of us can explore outer space or find a cure for cancer but we can all work at making life better for the people we come in contact with each day. This is an important concept. Take a look at your work and your life. Are you making a dent in the universe? Are you leaving a legacy? If not, how do you need to change things so that you can?

If you are interested in reading more about this, you can find the book on my reading list page.

Everyone Deserves A Chance To Fly-- Elphaba in Wicked

2011-07-05T09:33:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite plays of all time is Wicked and it is coming back to the Fabulous Fox theater this fall. I've already seen it four times and I plan to be back again; laughing at the clever lines, humming the inspiring music and anticipating the absolute best part of the play when Elphaba the wicked witch sings Defying Gravity and levitates in the air, wind blowing, lights dramatically flashing. It gets me excited just thinking about it.

What is it about this play that brings me back time after time? The message of the play is so inspiring and timeless. There are three key lyrics that to me sum up the passionate revelations of Wicked.

People come into our lives for a reason, something we need to learn--Glenda the Good Witch This is a hard lesson for Glenda or "Galinda" as she calls herself in the play to learn. In the beginning of the play she is all about changing Elphaba into a Galinda clone. By the end of the play she recognizes the qualities and gifts of Elphaba that she can learn from. We all can learn from her example; can you see life through another's eyes and learn from their perspective? Can you put aside your world view and learn from another's experience?
I'm through accepting limits, because others say they're true--Elphaba the Wicked Witch This is another inspiring message, this time from the character that we all initially accept as "wicked". In truth, she is misunderstood and she accepts other's perception of herself as wicked until she has an awakening and realizes that she like all of us are allowing others to limit our abilities and consequently our lives. How are you allowing others to limit your goals and aspirations? How is you perception of your abilities influenced by others rather than a realistic assessment of what you can really do?
Everyone Deserves A Chance To Fly--Elphaba the Wicked Witch Finally, Elphaba gives herself permission to be all that she can be. Permission to love, permission to express her opinions and convictions honestly, permission to stand up for the truth. What about you? Have you allowed yourself to fly? Are you challenging yourself to use your gifts and talents? Are you defying gravity?

Great Resources For Devloping Your Speaking Ability

2011-06-26T11:44:00.002-04:00

While visiting my sister and mom in California, I've had some extra reading time which is quite a luxury! The 5 hour flight here for instance allowed me to catch up on a lot of reading that I was behind on. One of the books that I've been reading is Secrets of Dynamic Communication: Preparing and Delivering Powerful Speeches
by Ken Davis. The book was recommended to me by my good friend and mentor, Kent Julian, who is an amazing speaker himself. The book outlines EXACTLY how to lay out a powerful speech, whether you are giving a sermon, a lesson, a keynote or a workshop. It is an amazing resource and I would recommend it to anyone who speaks in any capacity.

Kent by the way is preparing for his annual Speak It Forward Bootcamp in October. What a fabulous experience it is! I attended last year and I can't tell you all the fantastic information I learned! If you have ANY interest in developing yourself as a speaker, this is the place to go and the man to see. He doesn't just tell you how to be a good speaker, he tells you all the inside details of developing and managing a speaking business. You will love it! There is a special going on where you can sign up with a friend and SAVE big time. Here's my advice: DO IT! I did and it has changed my life!

Click here to view more details

Are You Living In The Land Of Scarcity?

2011-06-25T11:26:00.002-04:00

I'm currently in Cotati, California visiting my sister and mom and when I arrived there was no toilet paper in the guest bathroom. When I brought this to my sister's attention, she said, "Oh yes, we've needed to get to the store and buy a few things and we really need to do that today..." An extra roll was found in another bathroom and somehow in the busyness of the day we didn't make it to the store that day or the next. Later, I noticed what appeared to be an eight pack roll of toilet paper in an upper cabinet. The next time the toilet paper crisis came up, (now my mother was out of toilet paper in her bathroom), I mentioned my discovery. There was delight and surprise that there was an abundance of toilet paper in the house... all the while everyone was scrabbling around and moving the scarce resource from bathroom to bathroom. Seems like a lesson in this to me...

I think that many times in our lives we live as though there was scarcity in our lives even though we are really living in the midst of abundance, we just don't recognize it. I'm not just talking about toilet paper here. Maybe we feel lonely and lost and there is really a wealth of support all around us we just haven't made our needs know. Maybe we think we can't be successful, but we really haven't tried long enough or hard enough. Maybe we blame our finances on a bad economy or our unemployment on a lack of jobs but we just haven't recognized our true talents and gifts and applied them in the right area. There are lots of examples of this kind of scarcity mentality... much of it has to do with our perception and our willingness to look at our world in a new and sometimes challenging way. What about you? Are you living in the land of scarcity when there is really an abundance of opportunities all around?

Great Book And Resource! Let's All Make A Difference.

2011-06-21T08:00:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading The Difference by Jean Chatzky and what a great resource this is! The subtitle is: How Anyone Can Prosper In Even The Toughest Times and it's mostly about prospering financially. What I always like about Chatzky's books though is not only are they very readable but they go beyond the usual dry financial advice you usually get in books like these. You know what I mean; explanations of compound interest and how your money grows when you invest when you're young rather than when you're older (like me). Chatzky explains a lot of research she has done on the attitudes and habits of wealthy people vs. those who struggle financially and then challenges the reader to develop similar behaviors. Here's one of my favorite activities she suggests, it's a written visualization exercise:

Today I am:
I got here by:

Five Years from now I will be:
I got there by:

Ten Years from now I will be:
I got there by:

Twenty Years from now I will be:
I got ther by:

I am Most Proud of:

Try writing it down and then referring back to it regularly... I plan to myself. Here's the affiliate link if you'd like to purchase from Amazon:

Sometimes A Bad Apple Can Be A Wake Up Call... Snow White

2011-06-11T09:11:00.001-04:00

When you hear the story of Snow White, do you ever wonder what would have happened to her if the evil jealous queen had not tried to kill her with the poisoned apple? What if she had just lived her life out with the seven dwarves, cooking, cleaning and wiping Sneezy's runny nose? Not a bad life certainly. She seems happy enough singing and dancing through life with the wild animals. However, if she hadn't fallen into the deep sleep would she ever have met her Prince Charming? Would she have expanded her life beyond the walls of the cottage in the forest? We'll never know because she did eat the apple and she was awakened by the prince and she did follow a different path. Where's the message for us in this age old tale?

Lately, we've all been impacted by the changing economy. I work in the education field and this year at the end of the year, five teachers had to move to other schools, teach other grade levels and say good-bye to friends and co-workers. It wasn't an easy move for any of them. I was reminded of the year, I graduated from my master's program in school counseling and was looking for a job. I interviewed at a zillion different schools, even thought I would get the job at a couple of them and then everything fell through. All my friends were already employed and still, I was looking and waiting, not very patiently, I might add. I finally interviewed at Sixes Elementary and was hired into what has been a dream job at a phenomenal school for eighteen years now. Sometimes rejection turns out to be the best answer. Sometimes change turns out to be new opportunities. Sometimes a bad apple can be a wake-up call.

A Life Well Lived--Remembered

2011-05-30T20:03:00.000-04:00

On this Memorial Day, we are remembering those who have served our country and it occurred to me that not only did my step-father serve this country for forty-four years but in one month we will be at the one year anniversary of his death. In honor of him and his remarkable life, I am reposting the memorial blog that I wrote last year. I hope he is enjoying his 'retirement in heaven'. I still think of him often...

On July first 2010, John Urvan, my step-father passed away. Married to my mom, April 29th 1984, he came into my life at a time when I was already grown and having children of my own. My life intersected his on special occasions, family get-togethers and routine life events. However, in the last year and a half as I helped him and my mom cope with the diagnosis and treatment of advanced prostate cancer, I came to know him much more personally. I can truly say that he is someone who has left a lasting impression and a legacy to be remembered on my life.

Shaped by his forty-four years of service in the Marine Corp, he was man of structure and routine. He was early (by hours!) for every appointment he ever had. We used to joke about his need to make a 'dry run' before any new appointment so that he could measure the mileage, traffic conditions and length of time it would take to get there. Even his leisure time activities, stamp collecting and crossword puzzles were evidence of his love of structure. Prior to his death, he organized and labeled every document and phone number he thought we would need to take care of all the necessary details.

He was self sufficient and independent to a fault. He hated to ask for help of any kind. When advised of the need for surgery for his prostrate cancer, he called to let me know the details. I told him I would drive him to the hospital and take him home. He was adamant that he would be able to drive himself and only after his doctor advised him otherwise did he allow me to make arrangements. He was most proud of his ability to undergo chemotherapy without any side effects of nausea or weakness. When the cancer spread to his bones causing multiple falls at home, he refused to tell his doctor or agree to go to the hospital for evaluation.

He was generous. Although he hated to accept help, he loved to give it. He was handy around the house and made all kinds of repairs at my home. He was always busy completing chores or a special project. He wanted to pay me every time I gave him a ride somewhere and he never forgot a birthday or special occasion.

He was an humble man of service to his country. In his forty-four years in the Marines, he fought in World War II, Korea and Vietnam. He was a recipient of the purple heart. Yet he never had a big ego or really even talked about his military career. He will be honored on July twenty-third with a military funeral which will include a bugler, an honor guard and a twenty-one gun salute. I can almost hear him asking me what all the fuss is about.

He loved life and lived it with gusto, making the best of even the worst situations. Every meal I ever fixed him was "outstanding!" and he ate it all with relish. His favorite breakfast? Black coffee and burnt toast! I guess that doesn't say much for my cooking...

He was social with a great sense of humor. He generally charmed any new acquaintances and my kids still remember some of his favorite expressions. "What do you think I am, chopped liver?" he'd ask and my children would crack up even though they had no idea what he was talking about. He would sing bits of old timey songs to them. My daughter's favorite? "I was walking along, minding my business under an orange colored sky. When flash, bam, alakazam, wonderful you walked by..." They'd ask him to sing it over and over. One of our favorite quips from him was during my daughter's wedding last fall when he surveyed the festivities and confided to my other daughter, "I didn't know white people could have so much fun."

He had a great love for my mom through thick and thin. They certainly were opposites and they had their ups and downs but his devotion never wavered. He always called her "my beautiful bride" and that was how he referred to her as we sat in the examining room of the hospital for what turned out to be the last time. One of the last conversations he had with my sister was not to worry about the future because he would "take care of momma." He certainly did fulfill his promises.

All in all it was 84 years of a life well lived; a life of honor and integrity, a life of humor and generosity, a life of service and love. He left behind a legacy of memories for everyone who knew him. He will be greatly missed.

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One Shoe Can Change Your Life

2011-05-23T10:16:00.001-04:00

I recently ran across this quote from the fairytale, Cinderella: "One shoe can change your life." Guess who said that? If you guessed Cinderella, then you guessed correctly, but if you think about it... really any of the characters in the story could have said it. One shoe changed all their lives forever.

Do you ever think about the simple things in your life that have changed it forever? It might be something as simple as a shoe, a phone call made or a compliment given to a stranger. Many times it is the simple things that we do that have a lasting impact. It's not the decisions worried about for days, the options carefully weighed, the pros and cons evaluated. It's being open to those spontaneous, intuitive moments that can change our lives. It's taking the time in our busy over stimulated lives to slow down and take in a sunset, send upward a thankful prayer or give the gift of encouragement.

Here's something that changed the direction of my life forever: a simple email to Dan Miller's podcast asking if he thought it worthwhile to publish a children's book that I wrote. His enthusiastic yes, changed the direction of my life and fueled my determination to see the goal accomplished. What about you? Has a shoe changed your life forever?

Do You Want To Be Significant Or Successful?

2011-05-03T21:28:00.003-04:00

I recently read an article on http://www.mywiredstyle.com/ entitled "Are You Successfully Significant?" In the article, Deb Ingino discussed the difference between being successful through achievement and being successful through being significant. The first one is being successful through accomplishing goals and the second one is being successful through making a difference in other's lives. The difference as she pointed out, is that the first one is all about me and the other is all about you. Interestingly enough, when we make it all about you, we benefit greatly as well. I believe this is a critical point and one that is easily missed. I seem to see some version of this everywhere. For instance,the ongoing discussion in every social media article I read, is the sudden insight that those of us on twitter and facebook have spent way too much time racking up numbers while too little effort has been put into developing relationships. Isn't this just another way of saying that it's more important to make a difference than to strive to reach a goal which benefits only ourselves? I believe this is a good way to evaluate each goal that we set. Ask the question, " Will accomplishing this goal make me significant or just successful?" Or as Zig Ziglar always liked to say, "You can accomplish anything you want if you just help enough others get what they want."

Are Your Possessions Stealing Your Energy?

2011-04-16T11:06:00.007-04:00

I was reading through a popular women's magazine today and I came across this quote from designer, Pamela Porter, "Everything you own steals energy from you in multiple forms. You use it, clean it, store it, fix it, or simply think about it. Let bidding it good-bye be the last bit of energy it takes from you. Once you lighten your load, you'll feel like a new person. So have a yard sale, list on eBay, donate, recycle, or simply toss-just find a way to reduce what you have. Only then can you give your spaces and your attitude a fresh start. This spring, just let it go." WOW! I didn't really expect to find such an insightful, philosophical statement right in the midst of an article on redecorating your living room!

I absolutely love this philosophy. I was recently reading a blog, http://bloggingyourpassion.com/jonathans-blogging-journey/ by Jonathan Miller where he talked about reading one of my favorite books, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day: How to Survive and Thrive When Opportunity Roars

After reading the book, he and his wife decided that rather than collecting possessions, they would collect experiences. I too have come to this conclusion in life. Experiences bring continued enjoyment through memories and stories. Unlike possessions, experiences don't steal your energy, they energize you! Experiences expand your world. Experiences help you define who you are and enhance your relationships with others. When was the last time you could say that about even one of your possessions?

You Can't Name My Baby Brother A Dog's Name!

2011-03-31T20:58:00.003-04:00

My friend had to call me to tell me the latest funny story about her grandson, Preston. He will become a big brother in August and she was asking him what he wanted to name the baby. When he couldn't think of anything she suggested the name Wyatt which also happens to be the name of the dog in my childrens' book, Wyatt The Wonder Dog Learns About Good Manners. Since he has read the book a few times he had an immediate response, "You can't name a baby Wyatt," he said. "That's a dog's name!" She tried again, "Well, what about the name Graham?" "You can't name him that!" was the indignant response. "That's a cracker!" She had to laugh! Preston obviously thought his Granny Val had lost her mind since she wanted to name a baby after first a dog and then a cracker!

While we often chuckle at the associations children make and their lack of flexibility, dare we say, even rigid ideas about how the world works and what is possible, you have to admit adults often do the same thing, albeit on a more sophisticated level. Listen to your conversation for one day. How often do you say, "I'd really love to... but it's not possible." Or, "I've always dreamed of a job where I ... but I could just never do that." Or "I always had a dream of...but I guess it just wasn't meant to be." Are you sure? Or are you just stuck like Preston, in your own view of the world and it's possibilities?

Zig Ziglar likes to say that at the end of your life you will either say, "I'm glad I did... or... I wish I had." Which will it be? The choice is really up to you.

Understanding Yourself Leads To Understanding Others

2011-03-15T14:06:00.004-04:00

Image via WikipediaIt's always interesting to ask a child what a word or phrase means and get their response. Once you realize how they interpret everyday words and conversation, you wonder if you are ever really communicating with a child at all. In a first grade class today, we were watching a video where the main character makes the statement, "I am worthwhile" which was really the main point or theme of the whole video. I asked the children before the movie what does 'worthwhile' mean? Only one brave soul raised her hand and here was her definition of 'worthwhile'... "It's when you have wild boys or girls." Good thing I clarified that don't you think?

In all we do everyday there is a lot of room for interpretation and clarification. I'm not just talking about children but adults as well. One way that we can improve our chances of understanding each other and communicating with each other is by understanding our different personality types. According to the DISC personality profile there are four basic personality types and 41 possible combinations or blends of those. Two of the types are more fast paced, they are energetic, enthusiastic doers who have an internal motor set on go. Two of the personality types are more reserved and slower paced. They are more laid back, tend to take their time and think things through carefully. Another way to divide the four types is according to their focus. Two of the personality types are more people focused. They tend to be more social, interested in teamwork, communication and personal interaction. Two of the personality types tend to be more task oriented. They tend to be more focused on process, plans, program, guidelines and accomplishment of the goal. Which one describes you? If you knew which one described the important people in your life (children, spouse, co-worker, boss etc) would it make a difference? I think it would be pretty worthwhile...

I recently spent four days at the Personality Insights Institute learning about the DISC personality assessment and how to use it to help people understand the major relationships in their lives. It is an amazing tool yet easy to understand and explain to others. Dr. Rohm, the founder of Personality Insights, has been in the field for over twenty years and he began teaching others after discovering what a difference it made in understanding his family relationships. He is an engaging and passionate speaker and the four days literally flew by. Not only has this seminar changed the way I think about communication, it has given me a desire to share the information or pay it forward so to speak by incorporating it into all the teaching I do. So far, I have taught five parenting classes using the information I received through this training. What was the response of the parents? "It was really worthwhile!"

Do You Have Cooking Expectations?

2011-02-21T11:27:00.002-05:00

Image via WikipediaI was recently having a humorous conversation with a friend of mine who does very little cooking. She was commenting on how often our Sunday School class has activities that involve cooking. This includes everything from get togethers where we all take appetizers to meals that we fix and donate to the local homeless shelter. With tongue in cheek she told me, "I really had to think twice about continuing in the class because of all the cooking requirements. It got so bad, that I went to the pastor for advice and told her I needed counsel on what to do. She said I should just go to the grocery store and get things that were ready made, to which I replied that she really didn't understand... these cooking opportunities involved RECIPES!"

While my friend had me cracking up over her cooking dilemma, it occurred to me that we all often have expectations that we are trying to meet that are not in our areas of expertise. Sometimes these are things that life simply demands that we must do whether we like it or not. For instance, every year I must file taxes even though I absolutely hate math and dislike sorting and compiling all the financial information of the previous year. Once it is done, though, I must say I have a great feeling, which is due to understanding my finances and planning for the year ahead more than it is due to actually completing the task.

There are other expectations, much like in my friend's case, that we impose on ourselves that are really unnecessary. I have systematically been trying to eliminate these time wasters from my life. One example is cooking dinner every night. While I actually enjoy cooking, a more time saving way of preparing dinner for my family is to make something in a large quantity that we could eat on several occasions rather than something different every night which results in many uneaten left overs. Another way to eliminate unnecessary time wasters is to evaluate each activity as to it's importance in my daily and yearly goals, rather than automatically responding to the urgent rather than the important. Do I really need to check out what everyone is doing on Facebook right now? Do I really need to read that magazine article before writing my weekly blog? Well, I guess you get the picture. Meeting expectations is important, but we must make sure that the expectations that we are meeting are the right ones for the moment.

New Book Signing Scheduled! Proceeds Benefit Rescue Dog!

2011-02-12T20:48:00.000-05:00

Wyatt The Wonder Dog has a good friend, Hatch who needs your help! Hatch is a black lab who was abandoned in a neighborhood in Kennesaw one year ago. Can you imagine leaving your dog in the middle of a cold snowy day and not knowing whether someone would take care of him or not? Lucky for Hatch, Kathy Baker, owner of Must Love Dogs Inc, a doggie daycare, boarding and grooming facility found Hatch and took him in. Hatch has been a happy resident of Must Love Dogs ever since. Unfortunately, Hatch has arthritis and possibly even bone cancer, but he still has a happy loving attitude.

Proceeds from a book signing scheduled at Must Love Dogs Inc Saturday, March 5th from 3:00-5:00 will go to Hatch's upkeep and care. Pam Gardner will be there with some new sketches from our next Wyatt book, due out this summer! You can be the first to see the new character in the book named Hatch in honor of Wyatt's friend. I will read the story of Wyatt the Wonder Dog to children and we'll have a special Wyatt color sheet to give away. It should be a lot of fun! Wyatt and I hope to see you there!

Join us Saturday, March 5th, 3:00-5:00 at:

Must Love Dogs Inc
4225 JVL Industrial Park Drive
Marietta, GA 30066
www.mustlovedogsinc.com

What Are Your Roadblocks To Success?

2011-02-06T19:40:00.001-05:00

Image via Wikipedia Do you have trouble getting started? I know I do and judging from the number of people that I talk to about their future plans that just never seem to materialize, I’d guess that this is a common problem. In a recent article in Success magazine by John Maxwell, he says “If you want to win, you’ve got to start.” Seems pretty obvious doesn’t it? So what’s the hold up? While getting started is an action step, many times it is our internal critical voice that prohibits us from taking that first step. Here are four key roadblocks to getting started:

• Not knowing exactly what you want. If you haven’t yet set a goal it’s hard to achieve. Many times we distract ourselves by identifying so many possibilities that we are overwhelmed with the choices. We say things like, “I could do anything…if I only knew what it was that I wanted to do.” This involves learning to set priorities. Pick one or two goals and put 100% of your effort into achieving it. You can always backtrack to other minor goals later.

• We know what we want but we are afraid to ask for it. We are afraid we may fail. We secretly have a desire, a goal but we are afraid if others know about it, we will be turned down, rejected, embarrassed if we don’t achieve it. We may try to achieve on our own without using our resources, usually to no avail. We say things like, “I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.” We are actually cheating ourselves with this one. Our social network is often more willing to help us achieve than we give them credit for.

• We are afraid of success. Just as fear of failure can paralyze us, so can fear of success. What if we don’t really know what to do, how to act, how to perform? What if we are overwhelmed with the responsibility of success, the amount of time and energy that it requires? What if we are successful and it turns out not to be what we expect it to be? Again our internal voice is paralyzing us with what if questions. We may say, “What if I succeed and they expect me to know everything and then find out I don’t?” We fail to recognize the flexibility, the power and the control that we have in any given situation.

• We know what we want but we don’t know the steps, the path, and the way to achieve it. This is a research question. There is always someone who has gone before us in all that we do. We need to find a role model and connect with them to discover how they were successful. We can then design our own way.

Sound like a daunting job? It is difficult but not impossible. Roadblocks can be cleared and the road paved for success. Don’t let fear, lack of focus or lack of knowledge keep you from making that first step to achieving your goal.

Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending. Carl Bard

LOL... Lots Of Love

2011-01-24T11:13:00.001-05:00

Image via WikipediaI have a friend who recently got into texting on her new iphone. She is a very caring and social person so once she discovered how easily she could share with family and friends by texting, she was hooked. She sent a lot of text messages to a lot of people. One day her son said to her, "Mom, why did you send me this text message? What's so funny about this?" She was confused..."Funny? I didn't think it was funny," she replied, "I was sending you lots of love, you know...LOL" Her son had to explain to her that LOL stands for LAUGH OUT LOUD, not LOTS OF LOVE! Then she started thinking about all the people she had sent that message to... "Sorry you're sick...LOL." "Having a bad day? I'm so sorry...LOL." Just use your imagination here to consider all the possiblities...

Have you ever had an epiphany like that? A sudden realization that the way you perceived things wasn't really reality at all? Or maybe just a new perception of the world and how you've been living? One of the best books I've read recently has been Donald Miller's book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. In the book he asks the simple question, "Are you living a good story?" Inspirational leaders have been asking this same question for years, although maybe not by using those same words. But I found that thinking about my life in the same way that I might think about writing a story has had a very transforming effect on me. Perhaps it is the writer in me coming out, but thinking about my life in the context of a story causes me to recognize the intentionality of my actions and the power of control that I have. It highlights choices rather than chance. It encourages me to live my life rather than allowing my life to live me. What about you? Are you living a good story? If not, what can you do to change the plot, the characters, the setting?

Are You Opening Your Gifts?

2011-01-09T22:33:00.003-05:00

Image by susansimon via Flickr
Have you ever had someone give you a gift, something wrapped in gorgeous paper, tied up with a lovely bow? Did you shake it, turn it this way and that to try and figure out what it was? Did you thank the person who gave it to you and then tell them you were going to open it someday, not today... but someday. Did you put the gift away, forget about it and then eventually forget that you even had the gift at all? Of course not, gifts are too special to neglect them that way.

It's the time of year when people talk a lot about plans, resolutions and goals for the upcoming year. This comes up quite a bit in the groups that I'm a part of and I'd say about 98% of the people I talk to tell me that they have no plans or goals for the upcoming year. Why not? Here's what I hear:

Image via Wikipedia

Jim Rohn

They know they won't do them anyway so what's the point?
They want to leave themselves open to whatever God or the Universe has in store for them.
They had a plan once... way too much work involved!

When we look at goals this way, we're mistakenly thinking that we're only hurting ourselves by not living more intentionally. In reality, we cheat not only ourselves but those who would benefit from us opening and using our gifts to make a difference in the world. We live a life that is ordinary, not extraordinary, average not excellent. Are you opening your gifts today?

If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much...

Jim Rohn

Are You Feeling Bald?

2011-01-04T14:25:00.000-05:00

Image via WikipediaYou gotta love kids. I was recently teaching a class on feelings and the book I was reading had the line in it... "Are you feeling bold?". I've learned never to assume that children know what I am talking about, so I stopped and asked the kindergarten class if they knew what bold meant. Being five and six year olds they of course did. The child I called on confidently replied "You know, it's when you have no hair."

I thought about this story as I worked on my yearly goals. A couple of them involve stepping way out of my comfort zone and I'm having a hard time getting past that. What concerns me? Failure and rejection to name a few DEVASTATING feelings. Certainly is hard to quiet that negative voice inside, isn't it? What does it take to make a difference in the world though? Taking a calculated risk? Sailing in new seas? Feeling bald...I mean bold?

Upcoming Events

2010-12-28T13:32:00.001-05:00

Cover via Amazon

January 22, 2011--Visioning Workshop at Kennesaw United Methodist Church

If you have ever said:

• Why am I here?

• What is my purpose?

• What are my God given gifts and talents?

• What is my mission?

Then you won’t want to miss this class! Based on the book, The Path by Laurie Beth Jones, Carol Bass and Lynne Watts have put together a workshop with you in mind. Join us for a day of creative activities and fellowship as we explore our God given gifts and determine our own individual path or mission. Come prepared to laugh, learn and be energized! Class size will be limited, to provide individual attention, so register early!

When: January 22, 2011 10:00-4:00

Where: KUMC Room 217

Cost: $20.00 (includes lunch and a copy of the book, The Path)

Who: Lynne Watts lynnewatts@comcast.net

Carol Bass carolbass@bellsouth.net

Are You Missing Jesus?

2010-12-24T11:01:00.000-05:00

Image via WikipediaI was talking to a friend recently about Christmas decorating and she told me that when she put out her Christmas nativity scene somehow the Jesus in a manger was missing. She wasn't overly concerned about it since she figured one of her grandchild probably was 'helping' with the clean up last year and decided they wanted to borrow the Jesus figure. She said she just put it out anyway and hoped it would turn up at some point. However, the scene does look a little 'empty'.

I thought it was a pretty good analogy for the Christmas season as a whole, you know what with the missing Jesus and all. I was having a discussion with some other women about how hard it is to keep Jesus as the focus of the season, when it suddenly occurred to me that the real problem is not keeping Jesus at the center of Christmas...it's keeping Jesus at the center of our lives. Why are we so concerned that we might get distracted during the Christmas season when there are eleven other months of the year when we need to keep Jesus at the center of our lives as well? Why do we so self-righteously wear pins that say "Jesus is the reason for the season" but spend the rest of the year unconcerned? Maybe we need a pin that says, "Jesus is the reason for it all" to wear all year long. Just a thought...

Have You Ever Been Stuck?

2010-12-10T21:49:00.004-05:00

Image via Wikipedia Have you ever gotten stuck? Really stuck? A friend of mine was recently describing a time when she got stuck. It was embarrassing...but makes a funny story now. She had been wearing her usual foot attire, flip flops, while shopping at an outdoor craft fair. Since it had been raining, by the time she arrived at a restaurant for dinner, her feet were pretty muddy. She decided to go to the restroom and rinse her feet off in the sink. In the process, she managed to get her foot wedged between the faucet and the sink and before you can say, "Squeaky clean"... she's stuck...big time. Of course it doesn't help that she is off balance and teetering on one foot while the other is stuck at an awkward angle in the sink. Eventually someone came along and gve her the support she needed to get unstuck and luckily it didn't involve the fire department.

Many times we get stuck in a behavior rut that is much the same way. We are uncomfortable, miserable even but because we lose our perspective, we often remain stuck in a holding pattern. It takes a new perspective to get us moving and on a new path.

This week I've been attending the Third Annual Conference of the Georgia Association for Positive Behavior Support. The basic tenets of the conference are pretty simple, changing behavior through more effective teaching and through providing positive reinforcement. It is an innovative way to get many of our students who are stuck in negative behavior patterns to change. One of the challenges though is to get teachers and parents to change their approach as well. Just as students become stuck in negative behavior, often the adults in their lives also become stuck in their comfortable but ineffective teaching or parenting styles. Many times the focus doesn't need to be on changing the child, but instead on changing the adult's approach in order to change the child. Sometimes we all need a little positive support to push us in the direction of getting unstuck.

Deja Vu....I Need A Dog Whisperer

2010-12-01T15:01:00.004-05:00

Image via Wikipedia I have written about this before in a post dated November 1st, 2009 and it's happening again. My daughter's dog has gone psycho. The last time it happened I didn't really know what caused it. Out of the blue, she started tearing things up. When I say tearing things up, I mean TEARING THINGS UP! Last time she got in the pantry and torn up goodness knows how many boxes of pasta, cereal, chips etc. I've since had the pantry enclosed but that hasn't stopped her from finding stuff to tear up.

Last Friday, my daughter left town for three weeks. I knew I'd be dog sitting and I've been preparing myself for the extra time it takes in the morning to get ready for work and feed and potty two dogs. What I really didn't plan for is the extra, oh about 1 1/2 hours of clean up when I get home. Yesterday was the worst so far (mind you it's only the second work day since my daughter left). Here's some pictures of the destruction I faced when I got home:

Yep, everywhere I looked she had found something new to tear up...an entire six roll pack of toilet paper, a plant destroyed and wallered on and a wrapped Christmas present that was sitting on a chair. What is the cause of this madness? Well, I understand that she is mad that my daughter and boyfriend have left her alone with me and her best doggie friend, Rocco. But understanding what triggered the behavior helps me very little in changing it. I am continuing to put everything possible behind closed doors, much as you would for a toddler. But what do I do to keep her from tearing up things that I can't contain like door frames and large pieces of furniture? Well, like I say, I need a dog whisperer because, I'm apparently not speaking the language.

Do You Have A Goal? Are You Making Progress?

2010-11-16T12:16:00.001-05:00

Every year my Friends in Faith Sunday School class goes on a fall retreat to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee where we rent a gorgeous house, eat too much, read, shop, and fellowship. It is a wonderful time that we all look forward to. The house we rent sits on top of a mountain and there is a winding steep road that travels straight up the mountain to the house. During our stay, several of us usually decide to walk down and then back up the mountain road in order to get a bit of exercise. No doubt we were feeling guilty about the number of calories we had consumed when we made the decision. Walking down is always really scary for me because the road is so steep that I immediately begin worrying about whether or not I will be able to hoof it back up. Then we reach the bottom and begin the trek back up. Strenuous is an understatement when describing the hike back up the hill. Soon my heart rate has doubled if not tripled and my breathing is labored. In order to make it back up, my friends and I begin saying things like, “We’ll rest at the next driveway, the next telephone pole, the next tree.” That worked for a while until we were really gasping for air, at which point we began promising ourselves various treats upon completion of our walk…brownies, fudge, cake. Yes, we did finally make it, although every year …we think we never will.

Accomplishing the goal of walking up the mountain, always reminds me of the necessary steps to accomplishing other life goals. A basic requirement for both is that you need a long range goal to inspire you and short term goals to keep you going. Envisioning the end result is a great motivating factor. So is having a friend to encourage you on. Once you have all these things in place, you have set yourself up for positive results. Here’s the other great thing; once you’ve accomplished your goal, you’re likely to do again and the next time it will be a little easier. Add to that the fact that the sense of accomplishment acts as inertia to motivate you forward and you have got a winning plan.

Awesome Book Signing--Thanks Yawn's Books!

2010-11-13T20:00:00.001-05:00

The book signing was great fun! Thanks to everyone who came out! Here's a few of the pictures...Thanks to all the children, friends and family who came out. And a special thanks to Pam Gardner the illustrator who showed the children how she made the illustrations with her watercolors.

Countdown To Book Signing!

2010-11-07T19:04:00.000-05:00

Come Meet Wyatt The Wonder Dog Next Saturday

Yawn's Books And More Inc.
210 East Main Street
Canton, GA 30114

Saturday, November 13th at 11:00

Color sheet and stickers for the kiddos
Hear the story and learn about drawing the illustrations
Popcorn and punch!

See You There!

Just Right Is Really Just Wrong

2010-10-31T06:16:00.003-04:00

I just reread my previous post and saw a phrase that I thought I ought to reword. I ended the post by saying that if if I followed my GPS Life system, I would arrive at my destination without making any mistakes. That was my C personality speaking there. How I love it when I can accomplish goals without mistakes! Unfortunately that only happens in fairytales...

When I was a little girl, my favorite fairy tale was Goldilocks and The Three Bears. You remember the story don't you? She sits in one chair and it is too big and she sits in one chair and it is too small and she finally sits in another chair and it is JUST RIGHT! I can't tell you how strongly I identify with this little girl who is trying to get everything in her life 'just right'. So when I noticed that I had ended the last post with the idea that following a certain path would take me to my destination without any mistakes, I had to back up and remind myself how unrealistic that is. After all, even Goldilocks had to try out a few options before she got it just right.

Recognizing that achieving a goal takes several tries, dare I say, several mistakes is important because it gives us permission to try different options and to be okay with possible failure. Sometimes in our haste to get to the end result we forget this fact. An unwillingness to fail can result in an unwillingness to try and ultimately an unwillingness to move beyond the status quo. Taking a calculated risk is necessary to win. Being concerned with getting everything JUST RIGHT is really...JUST WRONG.

Where Are You Going? Developing Your GPS System

2010-10-19T14:05:00.003-04:00

I have no sense of direction. This has been an issue for me my entire life. I could tell you story after story of getting lost and winding up in the wrong location altogether. Once I got on a bus going the wrong way and my mother had to come and pick me up at a far away bus stop when I was supposed to be traveling closer to her. Once, recently mind you, I left a Halloween party and drove for at least 45 minutes just trying to get out of the neighborhood and find the main road. Once I was headed to North Carolina and wound up (I'm not making this up) in Tennessee. Of course the states are rather close together...aren't they? I used to wish that someone would invent a device that could talk to me while I was driving and give me the correct directions. I guess someone else had the same dream because--- voila! Now there is the greatest invention ever called the GPS. I've wanted one for a long time but only recently found the money in my budget to purchase one. After years of getting lost and discovering new destinations that I didn't even know existed and didn't know I wanted to find, I can now get to where I want to go without mistakes.

This issue of having direction applies to our lives in more ways than just traveling. Most of us travel through the days of our lives without giving much thought to the direction we are going in, never mind the destination we hope to arrive at. Recently, I have been trying to program my life GPS system to guide me in the direction of my life goals. In order to get a start on this, I spent 3 days last week attending a Speaker's Bootcamp, put on by the nationally known speaker, Kent Julian. It was an awesome, inspiring seminar full of practical information about launching a speaking career. Now if I can just listen to my internal GPS and put that information into practice, I should be able to arrive at my destination without taking a detour through the wrong state...

If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.

--David Campbell

Recycling Possums

2010-10-13T07:38:00.002-04:00

Cover via Amazon Recently my daughter was taking the dogs out and she noticed they were extremely interested in the recycling bin that I keep outside near the trash can. They were sniffing and barking excitedly. Upon closer inspection, she realized that a baby possum had somehow crawled inside the bin and then couldn’t get out. She called to tell me about it at work. My comment? “I didn’t know we were recycling possums.”

This got me to thinking about the negative things in our lives that we often recycle. Remember that decision to restrain from gossip? Just couldn’t help telling that one juicy story, right? Or remember the resolution to be optimistic and not drag yourself down by focusing on the negative? Did you stick with it? Or the hundreds of times we decide to exercise more or eat healthy? Within the hour sometimes we are back to the old easy way of doing things. What happens to that resolve? Is it just a matter of no willpower?

More likely it is a matter of a lack of focus and goal setting. Focus comes from our mission statement or purpose. Goals need to be measurable with many smaller goals leading up to the larger vision or life forming goals. Most people approach setting goals as they would approach writing New Year’s Resolutions. They are dreams with no foundations to hold them up and they soon crumble under the weight of everyday living.

On January 22, 2011, Carol Bass and I will be leading a one day workshop on Visioning at Kennesaw United Methodist Church. Based on the book The Path by Laurie Beth Jones, participants will be developing their own personal mission statement and vision. It should be a day of fun, fellowship and creative thinking. Join us! And stop recycling those possums!

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the path; walk in it.”

--Isaiah 30: 21

Hebron Virgin

2010-10-10T22:41:00.001-04:00

When you do something for the first time, you are never quite sure how it will turn out. It was my first Hebron Women’s Retreat and so I approached the weekend with great anticipation but also a little anxiety about the experience. Having played a small role in designing the weekend, I worry about the pragmatics. Would the facility be adequate? The food good and the rooms clean? What about the planned worship and informative talks? Would they be filled with the love of God and the power of his spirit? Would we draw closer to God and each other?

As it turned out, I didn’t need to worry. The Hebron Retreat 2010 was a wonderful time of fellowship, laughter and renewal with 29 other women in the North Georgia Mountains. Our theme for the weekend was Power Through His Spirit. We learned about God’s gift to each of us of the Holy Spirit to guide our lives. We learned about exercise, good nutrition and having balance and goals in our lives. Not only was it an awesome weekend, it was an empowering weekend. The message to me of the weekend? God gives us the power to change for the better. Our job is to tap into that power. Our job is to feel that love. Just look at the faces of those who have been changed…

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to measure of all the fullness of God.

Running In The Bathtub

2010-09-25T20:25:00.001-04:00

Image via Wikipedia This is one of my all time favorite counselor stories and I know I have told it before but I just can't resist telling it again. I was teaching a kindergarten class about safety rules and I asked the students for some examples. I got the usual; wear your seat belt in the car, stay seated on the bus, don't run in the halls etc. Then I called on one little girl who told me in her most serious voice to "never ever run in the bathtub." Sometimes it is all I can do just to keep a straight face.

I think running in the bathtub though is a great description of the hectic, out of control life style that many of us live. We're slipping and sliding in constant motion but getting no where. Sometimes it helps just to take a deep breath and refocus. That's just what I and 29 or so other women will be doing next weekend as we attend the Hebron Retreat. It will be a time to relax, slow down and re-examine our lives. As one of the speakers, I will be privileged to share some of my ideas about just how to regain that balance and control.

Have you noticed the new Ebook page that has been added to my blog? This is a devotional book compiled from last year's blogs. It is my gift to the women on the retreat and to YOU. Enjoy!

Enough About Me...

2010-09-23T10:55:00.001-04:00

Image by Kanaka Menehune via Flickr While planning my first guidance lessons this year, I found an inspirational little video put out by simpletruths.com called Finish Strong. In the video several individuals who have overcome great odds are highlighted. One of them is Bethany Hamilton, a young surfer who lost her left arm in a shark attack and despite that tragedy is back surfing and winning competitions. The students were quite impressed with her story and as part of the lesson, I decided to have each student write a letter to her which I would then mail. In the letter, I asked the students to tell her a little about themselves, what they are learning in class and then ask her at least two questions. The results were sometimes touching and often hilarious. One of my favorite letters is quoted below:

Dear Bethany,

How can you surf with one arm, but enough about you. I am Leon and I am 9 years old. I also go to Sixes Elementary. At my school we are studying about you. I wonder how much the shark bite hurt. Well do you boogie board as well? Hope you write back,

Sincerely,

Leon

While the letter is funny enough in itself, it did get me to thinking about how Leon's approach is not unlike how we as adults approach each other as well. Maybe we aren't as blatant as he was, but is the bottom line all about us? Where is our focus? Do we take the time to really listen to each other's story, to each other's concerns? Or are we too wrapped up in our own lives? This is an important concept to consider not only in our personal lives but our work lives as well. To sell a product, to serve a customer, to minister to someone, to teach a class of fourth graders in a meaningful way, it really does have to be about YOU not ME.

Are You Feeling Ecstatic?

2010-09-18T08:58:00.001-04:00

Image via Wikipedia This past week I was teaching a first grade class and talking about feelings and feeling words. I asked the children to name some feeling words and I got the ones that I usually do: feeling bad, feeling good, happy, sad, mad, scared, really good, really, really good, etc. Then I called on one little girl whose feeling word was--- ecstatic. I was stopped short in my lesson. Did she know what it meant? She most certainly did, it means, "really really excited". I was impressed to say the least.

I've been talking in recent posts about discovering your mission in life and centering your goals in life around that mission. Here's something I may not have mentioned. When you review your mission statement and when you identify your goals, do you feel ecstatic? When you get up in the morning and determine what aspect of your goals that you are going to work on that day, do you get really really excited? If you do, then this is a good indication that you have found the true north for your life. If you dread your 'work' whether that refers to your job or your goals and can't wait until you get to the weekend so you can do what you really want to do... well then you need to revisit that mission statement and those goals. Like my little first grade friend, you should be feeling ecstatic about your mission!

So Much More

2010-09-12T09:19:00.002-04:00

Image via Wikipedia I am a tightwad by nature. I don't say this with pride, just a statement of fact. Sometimes this is a useful attribute. For instance, in the economic downturn, I have not had to change my lifestyle much.

Sometimes this is not a useful attribute. Sometimes I am stingy in giving. The reason that my mission statement includes generosity as a goal is because this is a challenge for me and when I review my mission statement on a daily basis, I remind myself of this goal. I push myself to find ways to be generous, not just with money but also with time, with talents, resources and encouragement.

In the process of promoting my book, Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns About Good Manners, I was reminded of the law of generosity which states that to receive you must give. One evening this week I was quite discouraged about not meeting my goal for the week of copies sold. I found myself becoming very focused on the cost of publishing the book, the cost of buying my author's copies to sell and the number of books that I would need to sell just to recoup that cost. Publishing a children's book with color pictures is not cheap! Finally, I decided that I would quit focusing on the cost of the book because it was causing my perspective to become skewed. I didn't publish the book to make money. I published the book to encourage children to be better problem solvers. Once I made this decision, my whole world changed. While at a choir production at church, I ran into an old friend. She asked about the book and I told her it was now published and I gave her a copy. After the show was over, someone from her table at the show, came up to me and told me that she was so impressed with my book that she wanted to buy three copies and share it with the principal at their school. How exciting! What a great example of how when we change our perspective and focus on others, our world is suddenly filled with the abundance that God has planned for us all along. Lesson learned.

Amaziah said..., "But what shall we do about the hundred talents that I have given to the army of Israel?" The man of God answered, "The Lord is able to give you much more than this."
-2 Chronicles 25:9

Mission Accomplished--My Story

2010-09-06T12:18:00.003-04:00

My grandfather was a writer and as a young child not only did I love to write but I dreamed of growing up to be a writer much like him. I wanted to live in the country just like he did, read books (another passion) and write. It was a dream through much of my youth. I can remember relatives asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up and replying with confidence, "A writer".

Somewhere, in the process of growing up and making plans for my life which included getting married, having children, finding a job and making a living, I put that dream aside. It didn't seem like a realistic way to pay bills and I let it go. In recent years, I have revived that dream. Initially, I began writing for the fun of it, but later, I began writing stories that I thought would be useful in the classrooms where I teach children problem solving skills. Once I had the stories written, I wasn't sure what to do with them until I discovered Dan Miller and his Write To The Bank program. I was thrilled and encouraged when I sent him a question about publishing children's books and he actually answered it on his weekly podcast! I felt like a celebrity! I began setting specific goals and deadlines for publishing one of my children's books.

It has been a long and challenging journey with many pitfalls and detours along the way but I have stayed the course and three days ago in the mail, I RECEIVED THE FIRST COPIES OF MY BOOK! Excited and thrilled is an understatement of my feelings. I will soon have copies you can order on my website dedicated to Wyatt the Wonder Dog, but it is currently available for purchase on Outskirts Press through their online bookstore or you can order it on Amazon.com. Please check it out and if you purchase Wyatt The Wonder Dog: Learns About Good Manners, please write a review on the Amazon website. I would love the feedback.

Here's the point of my story though, if I can accomplish my dream, SO CAN YOU!

Just Do It!

2010-09-04T07:56:00.001-04:00

Image via Wikipedia You've identified the goal, you've written it down in the present tense, you've visualized it regularly... now what? Is this all just mind games and psychological mumbo jumbo? We all know that you could do all this from now until the end of time and if you took no action, you might feel like you were making progress but in reality you would be fooling yourself. Much like a student who believes in himself and visualizes making a 100 on a test but NEVER studies, nothing will happen. Much like an athlete who believes in herself and visualizes winning the tournament, but never practices, nothing will happen. You've got to move ahead to the next step in achieving your dream: Identify all the steps you can think of to make your goal real. Talk about them with the encouraging people in your life. Get some more ideas and write them down. Finally, write the steps down in chronological order and number them. Now the fun begins. Review your list weekly and identify something you can do every day, no matter how small to move you closer to your goal. Oh, and then DO IT!

The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something.
-Carl Sandburg

Visualize Your Goal

2010-08-29T12:12:00.002-04:00

San Francisco is a gorgeous city with incredible views and lovely old homes that are so close together on such steep streets that owning or renting somewhere with it's own parking space is rare. For the most part, people park on the streets. If you do have a garage, there is a high probability that someone desperate for a parking space at any price, will park in front of your driveway and block you in. One of my favorite messages of all time was spray painted on someones garage door in San Francisco. It said, "Visualize being towed". I bet that was quite effective in keeping the driveway clear!

I've written a lot in previous posts about goal setting. It is the foundation of achieving your dream. The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan and in the process of setting a goal, you begin the planning stage of achieving your dream. Your goal should be realistic but still challenging. It should be measurable with clear definition and a time frame for accomplishing it. Here's an example of a goal that I am just about to accomplish: Write and publish a children's book within one year. Once you have the goal written what do you do with it? Visualize that goal. Write it daily IN THE PRESENT TENSE and as you write it VISUALIZE accomplishing it. Here's how I have written this goal in my journal for the past year: I am an author who is publishing and selling books. What happens when you write in the present tense? Eventually it becomes who you are. Your goal is no longer something far out in the future, an unreal dream. Instead it becomes literally who you are and taking the steps each day to accomplish the goal becomes natural. What is initially awkward become ingrained. As you identify your goals, keep visualization in mind as a powerful tool.

Ask and it shall be given you;
seek, and you shall find;
knock and it shall be opened to you.
-Luke 11:9

What Do I Do With It Now That I've Got It?

2010-08-25T21:15:00.001-04:00

There's an old Frank Sinatra song called, I've Got You Under My Skin. In the song, old blue eyes sings,"I've got you under my skin, I've got you deep in the heart of me, So deep in my heart, that you're really a part of me, I've got you under my skin..." That's what you need to do with your mission statement. Make it such a part of you that it is deep in your heart. Make it such a part of your being that you just naturally follow it.

How do you do that? Here's what I have done for the past year. Every morning during my devotional time, I write my mission statement in my journal. As I write it, I reflect upon each part of it. Sometimes I have changed a word or a phrase. I revise it and develop it occasionally, but for the most part it has stayed the same because it is a general statement of my life at it's best. My mission statement has become such a natural part of me that I use it as a compass throughout the day to determine my actions and my priorities. Pretty powerful result for just taking about five minutes each morning for reflection. Can you find a way to weave your mission statement into a regular part of your life?

Mission Control Is Calling

2010-08-22T19:01:00.000-04:00

Once you begin to identify your dream, the next step is to write a mission statement. Perhaps you've been a part of a team or a committee at work that wrote a mission statement. Perhaps that was such an agonizing experience, you swore you'd never do it again. Perhaps you don't really see the point of a mission statement because once it is identified, it is quickly forgotten and relegated to a plaque in the employee break room. Perhaps the language of the mission statement is too philosophical and too idealistic for you to really relate to. Perhaps you just feel like you don't have time, you'd just as soon get on with the show. Wonder how I read your mind? I've said all these things and more about mission statements.

Recently however, I facilitated a 48 Days to the Work You Love class and through that class I somehow forced myself to write a mission statement. It is not an understatement to say that having that mission statement has changed my life. It has given it focus and helped me to recognize my purpose. If you know your mission, you can respond to priorities in your life rather than circumstances. You can say no with confidence to those things that are not congruent with your mission statement and yes with enthusiasm to those things that will enhance your mission statement. Having a mission statement is the first step to taking control over your life and moving toward living your dream. It did it for me. It can do the same thing for you.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.
-Victor Frankl

Acres Of Diamonds

2010-08-18T08:30:00.001-04:00

There is an often repeated story of a farmer in South Africa who was inspired to discover a great diamond mine and make his fortune. Since he was tired of farming and he was barely eking out a living, he sold the farm and spent the rest of his life looking for the magical diamond mine that would change his life and make him a wealthy man. Unfortunately, he never accomplished his dream and he died discouraged and penniless. The man who bought the farm had a different experience. One day while walking on his property, he discovered a rock that he found very appealing and he decided to place it on his mantel as decoration. A friend was visiting and noticed the unusual rock. After examining it, he asked the owner if he knew what he had found. When told that he had no idea, the visitor informed the farmer that he had discovered a very large diamond. Once the diamond was examined and cut, it was found to be one of the largest diamonds in the world. It turned out that the farm was a diamond mine just waiting to be discovered and the farmer became a very wealthy man.

Who do you identify with in the story? Are you the first farmer who is always looking for success somewhere besides your own backyard? Does the grass always look greener on the other side of the fence? Are you overlooking treasure within your reach? Or are you the second farmer who recognizes (with the help of a friend!), appreciates and develops the treasure within his own world?

I talk with many people who tell me they don’t know what their gifts are. Usually however, our gifts are right under our noses. We don’t have to sell the farm and travel the world to discover them. Here are some great questions to ask yourself to help you discover your gifts:

• If money were no object what would you spend most of your time doing?

• When you ask your family or friends what your gifts are, what do they say? What do you consistently get compliments on from others that know you?

• What were your dreams when you were a young child or a teenager? Can you find a common thread that is relevant to what you can develop now?

• When you are at a bookstore or library, what books are you attracted to? When you surf the web, what sites do you look at the most?

• Think of all the times you’ve said, “I’d really like to……………” List all those things.

• What do you want to be your legacy? When you think about what you want people to say and remember about you when you die, what are the key parts?

Putting all this together helps you discover not only your gifts but your mission statement. Your mission statement should be a concise view of how you want to share your gifts with the world. It should focus your energy in a positive direction and move you toward achieving your goals. This isn’t just busy work here that we’re discussing. This is life work and it’s important because the tragedy of the first farmer isn’t just that he failed to recognized the potential right under his nose. The tragedy is that he failed to develop and share his much needed gifts with the world. When we look outside ourselves for the new best scheme for success or wealth or happiness we not only deprive ourselves but also the world of our gifts and talents.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.
-Mahatma Gandhi

Ask The Horse

2010-08-15T08:51:00.001-04:00

There is a story of a man clinging to a horse which is galloping at breakneck speed down a country road. Another man walking along the road calls out to the rider as he whizzes by, "Hey, where are you going?" To which the rider yells back, "I don't know, ask the horse!"

Do you ever feel like you are that rider and your life is that horse? I absolutely identify with this story! If you have not identified your mission and begun setting goals in your life that pertain to your mission, then I bet you do too. Wouldn't you rather be that man walking down the road, knowing his destination, making progress toward arriving at it and having the time to to ask someone else questions?

In the next series of blogs, I plan to begin talking first about defining your mission, (guess what, you already know it, so no need to discover it!) and setting goals related to that mission. No more need to ask the horse where you're going...

Nothing happens... unless first a dream. Carl Sandburg

Somebody's Not Doing His Job!!

2010-07-30T22:16:00.002-04:00

In one of the Peanuts comic strips Lucy says to Charlie Brown, "Why do you think we're put here on earth Charlie Brown?" To which he responds, "To make others happy." Lucy says, "I don't think I'm making anyone very happy... of course nobody's making ME very happy either... SOMEBODY'S NOT DOING HIS JOB!!"

Have you ever felt that way? Felt like it's all one sided with the energy going out but not much coming back in? Felt like you're doing all the work and others are slackers? Felt taken advantage of? There is a subtle difference between serving and taking care of, between enabling and empowering. Serving others doesn't always make others happy but it does always empower them. Remember when Jesus washed his disciples' feet, did it make them happy? Actually, it made them uncomfortable but it did empower them, to become servants themselves. Serving others benefits both the giver and the receiver.

I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. John 15:16

A Servant's Heart

2010-07-26T09:01:00.000-04:00

I have a One Year Bible that I have been diligently reading this year and it was during my Old Testament reading this morning that I came across something amazing. See if you find it surprising as well.

We are all familiar with the story of King Solomon requesting wisdom from God, how this made God so happy that he not only granted the wish but also made Solomon the wisest man in history. However, have you ever noticed in the story why Solomon asked for wisdom and not something else? I think this must be a key part of the dialogue between Solomon and God. Here is the passage:

That night God appeared to Solomon and said to him, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”

Solomon answered God, “You have shown great kindness to David my father and have made me king in his place. Now, Lord God, let your promise to my father David be confirmed, for you have made me king over a people who are as numerous as the dust of the earth. Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may rule them properly, for who is able to govern by himself this great people of yours?”

God replied, “Because your greatest desire is to help your people, and you haven’t asked for personal wealth and honor, and you haven’t asked me to curse your enemies, and you haven’t asked for a long life, but for wisdom and knowledge to properly guide my people—yes, I am giving you the wisdom and knowledge you asked for. And I am also giving you such riches, wealth, and honor as no other king has ever had before you! And there will never again be a so great a king in all the world!”

Did you catch it? Why did Solomon want wisdom? So he could rule the people properly. He had such a servant’s heart that when asked for one wish, he asks for something that would enrich the lives of others. He doesn’t ask for himself. He asks for wisdom so that he could help others.

When he was asked, “Why are we here?” Albert Einstein said, “To serve others.” Seems like he and King Solomon were on the same page. Our greatest desire, our greatest purpose, our greatest mission in life ought to be to serve others. What happens when we follow this path? Look and see what God told Solomon…”And I am also giving you such riches, wealth, and honor as no other king has ever had before you!” So often we get these two things confused and backward. We strive for money, honor, status and recognition when if we would first strive to serve others, our other desires would follow naturally. What about you? Why are you here?
Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28

Priorities, Procrastination and Power

2010-07-22T09:59:00.001-04:00

You are the storyteller of your life and you can create your own legend or not. Isabel Allende

Do you have a dream? Is it something that you have denied for so long that you have forgotten what it is?

Do you have a dream? Have you listened to that voice that tells you that your dream is impossible, impractical or not important enough to put time and energy into?

Do you have a dream? Do you doubt your ability to achieve it? Or if you believe in yourself do you just not have any idea where to start?

God has given us all gifts to be used to his glory, but many of us discount those gifts, often without even knowing it. We discount them by not recognizing them as gifts. We discount them by not giving them top priority in our lives and we discount them by not recognizing the resources without and within to accomplish our dreams.

Ask yourself: What if I acknowledged the gifts God has given me? What if I made using that gift a top priority in my life? What if God has already made the power and the resources available to me to be successful?

His master replied, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” Matthew 25:23

A Time of Rest and Rejuvenation

2010-07-19T08:01:00.004-04:00

I am writing this from the beach where I am relaxing and fellowshipping with friends for a few days. We are sitting on the balcony; drinking coffee and watching the dolphins cavort in the ocean. The ocean is clear, blue-green and there is a gentle breeze blowing. Can you close your eyes and imagine yourself here with us?

It is Sunday afternoon and I am trying to follow the good advice of everyone from God to the last book I read on personal time management and have one day where I am not driven to accomplish anything but instead I rest and rejuvenate. I am sitting on my screened porch; drinking iced tea and reading a book that I have been anticipating delving into for quite some time. Can you close your eyes and imagine yourself here with me?

Rest, rejuvenate, revive, replenish. How often do you accomplish this goal? This is always on my list of goals but it is a challenge to succeed. What is the purpose of this time? Not only does it renew our energy but it also gives focus and jumpstarts our lives in a very positive contemplative way. Can you schedule a regular time for this? Can you renew your spirit with fun and friends? Can you unplug from the routine, the technology, the constraints of your life on a regular basis? Resolve to take one full day off each week during which you do not touch your computer, check your Blackberry or worry with your schedule, routine or daily chores. How does that feel? Are you more creative? Energized? Relaxed? See what I mean? God had it right along.

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. Genesis 2:2-3

A Life Well Lived

2010-07-06T11:34:00.012-04:00

On July first 2010, John Urvan, my step-father passed away. Married to my mom, April 29th 1984, he came into my life at a time when I was already grown and having children of my own. My life intersected his on special occasions, family get-togethers and routine life events. However, in the last year and a half as I helped him and my mom cope with the diagnosis and treatment of advanced prostate cancer, I came to know him much more personally. I can truly say that he is someone who has left a lasting impression and a legacy to be remembered on my life.

Shaped by his forty-four years of service in the Marine Corp, he was man of structure and routine. He was early (by hours!) for every appointment he ever had. We used to joke about his need to make a 'dry run' before any new appointment so that he could measure the mileage, traffic conditions and length of time it would take to get there. Even his leisure time activities, stamp collecting and crossword puzzles were evidence of his love of structure. Prior to his death, he organized and labeled every document and phone number he thought we would need to take care of all the necessary details.

He was self sufficient and independent to a fault. He hated to ask for help of any kind. When advised of the need for surgery for his prostrate cancer, he called to let me know the details. I told him I would drive him to the hospital and take him home. He was adamant that he would be able to drive himself and only after his doctor advised him otherwise did he allow me to make arrangements. He was most proud of his ability to undergo chemotherapy without any side effects of nausea or weakness. When the cancer spread to his bones causing multiple falls at home, he refused to tell his doctor or agree to go to the hospital for evaluation.

He was generous. Although he hated to accept help, he loved to give it. He was handy around the house and made all kinds of repairs at my home. He was always busy completing chores or a special project. He wanted to pay me every time I gave him a ride somewhere and he never forgot a birthday or special occasion.

He was an humble man of service to his country. In his forty-four years in the Marines, he fought in World War II, Korea and Vietnam. He was a recipient of the purple heart. Yet he never had a big ego or really even talked about his military career. He will be honored on July twenty-third with a military funeral which will include a bugler, an honor guard and a twenty-one gun salute. I can almost hear him asking me what all the fuss is about.

All in all it was 84 years of a life well lived; a life of honor and integrity, a life of humor and generosity, a life of service and love. He left behind a legacy of memories for everyone who knew him. He will be greatly missed.

Expand Your World

2010-07-05T09:39:00.000-04:00

I just returned from several days in Boston and I loved the city. It has history on every corner, is unabashedly patriotic, proud of it's heritage and offers plenty of opportunities to indulge in wonderful seafood. What more could you ask for than a place that challenges you mentally, physically and spiritually? While there, I walked the Freedom Trail, visited Harvard, took a bus tour of the city and a water tour of the harbor. Hayley and I walked until our feet hurt and ate an untold number of calories. Hopefully those two things balanced out somewhat. I also spent some time attending the American School Counselor Conference and networking with other school counselors from all over the world.

One of the things recommended by career counselors is to keep abreast of current trends and developments in your area but how often do we get involved in our work and feel that we just can't take the time to do that? Or how often do you attend training and before you even go in the workshop begin whining about how you already know everything you need to know and what a waste of time this is going to be? Our attitude determines what we get out of the experience and I must admit that I am guilty of both of the above. This summer and in the future, I am trying to be intentional about learning and developing beyond my current areas of expertise. The most challenging part of this is going into the experience with the right attitude. How about you? Is your world expanding all the time?

If the answer is no, how are you going to change that?

A man's courage can sustain his broken body, but when courage dies, what hope is left? The intelligent man is always open to new ideas. In fact, he looks for them. Proverbs 18:14-15

Boston In Two More Days!

2010-06-28T09:28:00.000-04:00

I haven't been everywhere, but it's on my list. Susan Sontag

A week ago I was in Nashville attending the Write to the Bank seminar with Dan Miller and in two days I leave for Boston to attend a few sessions of the ASCA which is the American School Counselor Conference. I have never been to Boston before and from what I hear from all my friends, it is well worth the trip. I have been getting advice on things to do and places to see. It sounds fantastic and I am really looking forward to it.

Having spent the last three summers traveling with forty plus high school students through Europe for weeks at a time, a four day trip to a major city in the United States where I know the language, the culture and the history, is a breeze. There is no keeping up with 10 or more other passports not to mention the bodies that go with them, no particular schedule to keep, reservations to make on time, lost items to retrieve, or hurt feelings to console. Do you think I miss this? NO! I love the travel but not the hassle. Don't get me wrong, the trips in themselves were great and well planned. Most of the students were awesome and the places we visited will be lasting memories. But the overwhelming responsibility for the students on the trip....I don't miss that at all. There are actually moments this summer when I have a vague anxious uneasy feeling about something I know I should be doing and then remind myself that I am living a casual stress free summer where I am responsible only for myself. What a relief! Part of determining your passion and purpose in life is weeding out those things that don't really fit your personality, talents and strengths and then going for it. Boston here I come!

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.
John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley

Write to the Bank Seminar...WOW

2010-06-24T10:09:00.001-04:00

WOW! What an awesome seminar I just returned from! Here's a group picture of the 49 aspiring authors along with Dan Miller and his family. I know this is sort of a 'Where's Waldo?' sort of a question, but can you find me in the crowd? I'll give you a hint, I'm wearing all green and I'm on the left side. Can you see me now?

It would be impossible to summarize all that I learned in a day and half of sitting at the feet of the master of 48 Days to the Work You Love: Preparing for the New Normaland I know that I will be referring back to this seminar in blogs to come. For now, let me just mention two pearls of wisdom for you to reflect on:

If you expect to market and sell your work well, you must develop a platform and a following, before, during and after publishing.
To be a writer, you must: read everything you can in your genre, write constantly, read, write, read, write, read, write, read, write...

What if you aren't interested in becoming a writer? Could you change a few words and still have some pretty good advice? I believe you could...

What Is Your Legacy?

2010-06-23T11:41:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Hayley and I visited the Smith Gilbert Gardens. The Hiram Butler House was built in 1882 and is surrounded by 16 acres of sculptures and gardens. As you can see from my photos it is lovely, serene and lush with 3,000 different plants. There is a rose garden, several water features and nature paths with a surprise around every corner. There are sculptures everywhere and the paths frequently have benches along them where you can stop to rest and spend a few moments in reflection and contemplation.

As we walked the paths, discussed the meaning of the sculptures and photographed the gorgeous flowers, I had to wonder about the creation of all this beauty. Being a gardener and plant lover myself, I was awed by the enormity of the project and yet the thoughtfulness and planning of it all. What were the people like who created this? How did they decide for instance to include a Japanese tea house and a circle of prayer flags? How long did it take and were they satisfied with the results? All of this got me to thinking about the legacy that each of us create and leave behind. It doesn't necessarily have to be something as extravagant as 16 acres of gardens. It could be the example of integrity and character that we leave for our grandchildren. It could be a difference that we made in the life of a stranger. It could be an exemplary career. Whatever it is, there is a part of our unique spirit and our God given purpose left for everyone to see. What about you? What is your legacy?

Success!

2010-06-16T08:49:00.000-04:00

There is something to be said for persistence, even when you aren't sure what the problem is...Here is my latest attempt at bread making: Looks a lot better don't you think? Guess what I changed? The setting. Instead of light basic crust, I set it on whole wheat. The recipe doesn't indicate what setting to put it on so you just have to take your best guess. The ingredients are exactly the same.

Continuing with the life analogy, it seems to me that although you often can't change the ingredients ( your gifts, talents, personality type, life situation that you are given) you can change the setting (your attitude, the environment you create around you, the knowledge you acquire, the choices your make). Think about it... the possibilities are endless.

Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. Henry Ford

What Do Breadmachines and Life Have In Common?

2010-06-14T22:38:00.001-04:00

Ever made a mistake at something and thought that you figured out what went wrong? Then you tried it again expecting perfect results and.....voila! TOTAL DISASTER! This has been my experience for the past two weeks as I tried my hand at making bread in my breadmaker machine. I couldn't figure out why my bread wasn't rising properly until I realized I was using self-rising flour thinking that it was bread flour. So this morning, I opened a new bag of bread flour, followed the recipe carefully and visualized the awesome bread I would soon be buttering and eating. Here's the end result:

It didn't look like a loaf of bread but more like a dough bomb had dropped in my breadmaker. It took me 5 minutes just to chisel it out of the machine. Here's another shot:

So, I got to thinking about how life is a lot like my experience with the bread machine. Just when you think you have the problem solved, you find out that you gotta keep on looking for another way. Don't worry, I'm not giving up on this...I know I can make it work. I am however taking suggestions.....

The way to succeed is to double your failure rate. Thomas Watson, founder of IBM

Monkey Mind

2010-06-08T09:49:00.004-04:00

Do you have a monkey mind?

This description caught my attention in a book I am reading called Life on Purpose: Six Passages to an Inspired Lifeby Dr. Brad Swift. According to him, the mind creates 50,000 thoughts a day. I knew I got distracted easily but I had no idea my brain was THAT busy. The term monkey brain refers to the mind's constant chatter. Pretty descriptive don't you think? That chatter keeps us not only unfocused but out of touch. It's the monkey chatter that cues us to check and see if we've got any important emails right in the midst of having a meaningful conversation with our husband or wife. It's the million and one tasks I think of doing BEFORE I get around to my main goal for the morning which right now is writing this blog. It's looking for a picture of a monkey in the clip art gallery and winding up in the cute puppy section just because it's there. It's.....well I think you get the picture. The trick of course is to find your focus and relegate most of the chatter to an appropriate place and time. Often the appropriate place is the trash can but just often enough to keep you attentive that monkey brain comes up with something important. What do we do about monkey mind? There are several possibilities. Here's a few:

Just being aware of how monkey mind can sabotage your focus is a start.
Take a moment to stop and focus your thinking. If you have difficulty with this, try focusing on your breathing first. It gives you something concrete to focus on.
Periodically take time to dump all those thoughts on a piece of paper. I keep a running list of 'things to do' going and whenever my monkey mind actually comes up with something important, I add it to the list.

Try it and let me know how this works for you. Don't let monkey mind steal your valuable focus!

What I've Learned About Waiting

2010-06-03T16:17:00.001-04:00

It's getting closer! I've received a couple of emails from the publisher that they have adjusted the color throughout the book and changed the color of the background on the cover. I'm nervous but hope everything will be fine. Soon they will be downloading the files to my author center and I can look at them. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we can move forward. There are a lot of reasons for my impatience. Not the least of which is that I have signed up to attend one of Dan Miller's Write to the Bank seminars, and my hope was to have my book in hand when I go. Is this possible at this late date? I have my doubts since I don't know how long it takes to produce the actual book and ship me some copies once it is approved.

Here's what I've learned from this experience:

Expect everything to take twice as long as you think it should.
Just because I have a deadline, that doesn't mean everyone else is operating on the same timetable.
Publishing is a journey just like everything else in life.
Make the most of all the down time by promoting the book in as many ways as possible. As Dan Miller says, "Once you have the book published you have 10% of the work completed..."

I'll keep you informed...

Hocus Pocus, Now Let's Focus

2010-05-30T19:31:00.003-04:00

I've had this idea for quite some time to write about being focused. It hasn't happened so I guess I haven't been very focused about it. It came up last week in a Bible study that I attend. The question was: Why is it so easy for women to lose their focus? Initially we discussed the many distractions we all allow in our lives and the nature of women to be relationship oriented which certainly can lead to a lack of focus. This is discussed in the excellent book, Men Are Like Waffles--Women Are Like Spaghetti: Understanding and Delighting in Your Differences by Bill Farrel. But all these ideas to me seem like symptoms of the problem not actually the problem. I think ultimately we are unfocused because we are not clear on what our mission is. In order to be focused, you must be clear about what to focus on. This is different from having a goal, like finding a new job or surviving your child's teenage years, for instance. A mission is the theme or purpose of your life. Once you have identified and clarified your mission, it's like putting on glasses after years of not seeing things clearly. The world is a very different place.

Discovering your mission is a key part of many programs but the one that ultimately helped (I might actually say, FORCED) me to define my mission was teaching the class, 48 Days to the Work You Love: An Interactive Study with CD (Audio) . A mission statement is a key part of this program and I can say with confidence that defining it has changed my world. Wondering what my mission is? I'll give you a hint, part of it is found in the title of this blog page...What about you? Are you focused? If not, is it because you need to discover you mission?

Where there is no vision, the people perish. Proverbs 29:18

I'm Waiting.....

2010-05-26T10:02:00.000-04:00

This is so amazing; I have to write about it! It is one of those God-incidences. One of the hardest things for me to do EVER, is to wait. I don’t have trouble with procrastination. I have trouble with giving ideas, events, situations, whatever, enough time to percolate and reach the appropriate point of action. I suppose this could be described as impulsive but I like to think of myself as decisive. If I’m in a group of people who can’t make up their mind where to eat for instance, I’ll suggest some choices but sooner rather than later, I’ll be picking something if no one else will step up to the plate (uh, no pun intended). You know you’ve been there right? Everyone is going, “Well what do you want to do?”, or “Anywhere is fine with me…” or “I don’t care”. This drives me crazy. I’d rather pick somewhere; run the risk of making a mistake and GET-ON-THE-ROAD than hang around discussing the possibilities.

Sometimes this approach is just what everyone needs but sometimes it isn’t. One of my goals for this year is to publish one of the children’s stories that I have written. It has definitely been an exercise in waiting. It took me FOREVER to find someone to illustrate the story, it took me FOREVER to realize I needed to self-publish the story and not waste my time sending it off to publishers and now it is taking FOEREVER to get it approved and in the production process. I am definitely getting impatient and I have to restrain myself from saying, “Just publish it as is! “ LET’S GET-ON-THE-ROAD AND GET ‘ER DONE! With this in mind, guess what the daily devotional was titled that I received today? God will not fulfill your dream immediately... I’M NOT MAKING THIS UP! It is as though Rick Warren is speaking directly to me when he says that you can expect a delay when you make the decision to follow the dream that God has placed on your heart. This, he says is to build faith. He points out that even Jesus waited for thirty years in the carpenter’s shop before setting out on his public ministry. Reading this was like putting the brakes on my emotions. Just as Jesus used that time in the carpenter shop to build his personal strength, convictions and faith, so the time I am spending waiting may be designed to prepare me for the road ahead as well. Instead of impatiently counting the days, maybe I need to consider how I can constructively use the time to prepare.

But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day! Habakkuk 2:3

Do You Wonder Where Wyatt Is Now?

2010-05-25T22:05:00.000-04:00

Pam, the illustrator of Wyatt the Wonder Dog, and I are wondering where Wyatt is ourselves. Mostly though we are wondering what color Wyatt and his friends are going to be. Self-publishing is a new experience for both of us and there are some bumps in the road that we did not anticipate. The current issue that we are trying to resolve is the fact that when we looked at the proofs online, the color of the main charaters is off. Wyatt is orange rather than yellow and Max, his bossy friend, is more red than brown. Waiting is hard at this point, but we are trying to make sure that the book is not average but the best it can be. It is hard to balance our desire to see it finally in print, (no matter what!) with our desire to have it be excellent. Sooooo we are choosing the latter, but with great IMPATIENCE. Stay tuned. I promise it is coming.

Road Kill

2010-05-20T14:44:00.002-04:00

It doesn’t matter if you are on the right track. If you are sitting still you will get run over. Will Rogers

Last night I talked with an entrepreneur, Deb Ingino of http://www.mywiredstyle.com/ . She is developing a side business which involves helping parents understand their children’s basic personality type. I was impressed with her website, her product and her ingenuity in putting it all together, so I emailed her to get an idea of how she got it all started. She offered to talk by phone and I found her very helpful and enthusiastic. Here’s the statement she made though that has stuck with me after the conversation; she said that she is a Vice CEO of a corporation and she is putting this business together on the side in order to move from a very lucrative salary to doing the work she loves. She is working full time at what I imagine to be a rather demanding job and yet she still has the initiative and drive to create a totally different comprehensive program and then follow it up with speaking engagements and workshops on her program. I think this is a perfect example of how to be on the right track AND keep moving so you DON’T get run over.

In the current economy, jobs, especially in the education field where I work, are in great jeopardy. Teachers and other staff are being laid off and furloughed. It seems the economic woes that have plagued the business world, have trickled down to the education world. It is easy in any job to become complacent and comfortable. Rather than learning and changing in our careers, we get stuck and expect everything to remain the same. Much like the characters, Hem and Haw in the book, Who Moved My Cheese? For Kids by Spencer Johnson, we feel that we are entitled to the status quo and it will never change. Although it may work for quite some time, this approach is deceptive and ultimately a recipe for disaster. A much better idea is to get on the right track and then, DON’T SIT DOWN, KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

Wow, It's Sexy Outside!

2010-05-09T22:26:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine recently told me this story about her six year old son. On a summer day he came running inside, flushed and sweaty to announce to his mother, "Wow, it is really sexy outside!" His concerned mother asked him, "What are you talking about?" "You know," he said in that I-can't-believe-you-don't get-it voice that kids have, "Sexy means really hot, and it's really hot outside today." Needless to say she-got-it and nearly cracked up.

Words are funny that way aren't they? Ever think you knew what someone was talking about only to discover you were way off base? Ever think maybe your family or friends were talking another language? Coming from a different experience all together? Sometimes I talk to my children for instance and our memories of the same event is so different, you might think that we didn't experience it together after all. On the other hand, ever meet someone and feel like you had instant rapport, like-you-had-known-them-your-whole-life after a couple of minutes of conversation? Don't you just love it when that happens? What makes the difference? What creates that instant relationship? I think it has to do with perception and a willingness to see through someone else's eyes or walk around in their skin. It has to do with letting go of our own prejudices, letting down walls, speaking through the heart as well as the head. It has to do with a commonality of values and experiences. So how are things in your world? Is it getting sexy outside?

Do You Wonder Who This Is?

2010-04-30T14:42:00.000-04:00

Don't you just love this guy? Doesn't he make you smile? Let me introduce you to...Wyatt the Wonder Dog who is always wondering about something. He is the main character of my children's book which will be PUBLISHED SOON! Stay tuned for more about his adventures, trials and tribulations!

Where's the Bookkeeper?

2010-04-22T21:51:00.001-04:00

This is a true story that happened recently in the county where I work. A child came to school and brought in a payment in an envelope labeled bookkeeper. Guess who he gave it to? The librarian. You gotta love kids.

This story got me thinking about jobs and our perception of them. One of the difficulties we all face in determining our career path is our limited knowledge of possibilities. This is especially true if you are trying to change fields or maybe even get started in that first job. So how do you overcome this lack of knowledge? I think that we need to research the possibilities but not in the same way that you might develop a research paper for a college class. Of course you might start with exploring different job possibilities on the web or reading books about different careers. Ultimately though I think you have got to move out of the typical research mode, get off the couch, get out of the house and begin more of an experimental approach. Maybe you begin talking to people in fields that you are interested in, join professional groups, develop a network and ask if you can shadow someone on their job to see if it is what you would like to do. Could you volunteer for an organization or business to see if you would really like this line of work? Too often people determine their career by reading or learning about a glamorized impression of what it would be like, only to be unpleasantly surprised at the actual nature of the work. Or they enroll in a degree or certification program spending time and money, only to find midway through that it is nothing like what they had in mind. I think it is too bad that the old apprenticeship way of learning about a job has become a rarity. Experience really is the best teacher and trying on a job before committing to it as a career is often the best approach. Otherwise, you might find yourself working as a librarian when you were more suited to be a bookkeeper.

The Job Interview--Seeing About Each Other

2010-04-18T22:39:00.000-04:00

Tonight was our next to the last 48 Days To The Work You Love Class and we covered two topics: Acing the Job Interview and Negotiating your Salary. The way to do well in both situations is to be confident of your mission and your goals. See how we keep coming back to the first part of the class? It is important to remember that in the job interview you are selling yourself. Hate the idea of selling? Then change your perception of selling. Selling is nothing more than sharing with someone else information about something that you are passionate about. In this case it is your skills, abilities and talents. The word interview comes from a Latin word that means to see about each other and this is how you should look at the job interview. You and your prospective employer are seeing about each other and you should be just as curious about him as he is to learn about you. Just as you should practice answering questions for the interview, you should also practice asking questions. A great sample of both can be found in the workbook. Negotiating your salary can also be an intimidating idea but again keep in mind that you are proposing the benefits that your skills, talents and abilities can bring to the company. Just as you would practice answering tough interview questions, you should also practice negotiating with a friend. Don't leave it all to chance but instead be prepared and confident.

Even though we are dealing with the nuts and bolts of finding a job, don't neglect those dream journals. Keep writing your mission statement daily and defining your goals. When you feel confident and capable then you can't help but project that image. Remember BE, DO, HAVE. See you next week for our final lessons which cover starting your own business!

We All Have Our Own Genius--What is Your USP?

2010-04-11T21:25:00.000-04:00

Tonight we began the second half of our class and started to work on the nuts and bolts of the job search, including resumes, creative job searches and interviews. Keep in mind that everything that we are doing is building on the first half of the class where you established your mantra, mission statement and goals. Tonight we learned how to include and focus on a skills summary in a functional resume rather than writing a chronological resume where the focus is your history more than where you want to go. The skills summary should include key parts of your mission statement and your goals. It should be a true honest reflection of your skills and abilities but not necessarily the major focus of your current or most recent job. In other words, don't list in your skills summary all the everyday tasks involved in your job that you are hoping to leave behind. Dan Miller said in the video, "We all have our own genius. What is your USP--Unique Selling Proposition?" You should be able to state in a few sentences your USP and this should be reflected in the skills statement. Another key point was the cover letter included with the resume and the follow-up phone call. As Betsy emphasized, the resume is just one more tool in the process of selling yourself. The resume will not get you a job, but it will hopefully get you in the door for an interview, which is what we will be discussing next week. Next week we will be covering chapters eight and nine: Creative Job Search Strategy and Preparing for the Interview. In particular, take a look at the questions on page 90-102. I might just ask you to tell me a little about yourself...what is your USP?

Are You A 3% Wannabe?

2010-03-21T22:13:00.003-04:00

Another stimulating and enlightening discussion in our 48 days class tonight! The topic was goals and I have written a lot about goals in previous blogs. If you want to hear the amazing thing that happened when we were discussing goals in the previous class, go back and read my post from October 9, 2009 about Setting Goals and Cycling at the Gym.

We all agreed that goal setting is challenging but necessary. So what keeps us from setting goals? Goals make us vulnerable. It means taking a stand and letting others know what we are about. It means setting the stage for success or failure. It means being decisive. It means taking action even when you aren't positive that it is the right action. There are certainly many obstacles to goal setting, but as Betsy shared in the study of business school graduates, there are some very good reasons to overcome those obstacles and do it anyway. Those graduates who set goals had a higher income than those who didn't set goals and the 3% who not only set goals but WROTE THEM DOWN made the highest income of all.

Here are a few suggestions for goalsetting: Pick two or three of your primary goals and WRITE THEM DOWN EVERYDAY in your dream journal. Write them in the PRESENT TENSE. Make a list of everything that you can think of that you need to do to accomplish your goals. Prioritize the list into a plan. Do something everyday to move closer to accomplishing your goal. So, do you want to BE in that 3%? Or are you just a 3% wannabe?

Are You Getting Newer Every Day?

2010-03-19T14:53:00.001-04:00

In an effort to motivate her young charge to move more quickly, my friend challenged him in a race. When he won with very little effort, he announced, "I won because I'm newer than you are!" She had to agree, he was a lot newer than she was.

As a counselor, I frequently work with motivation and goal setting. I find that most of us are resistant to everything about setting goals. I've had some tell me that they've quit setting goals because they never work. I've had some tell me that they just don't know what goals to set. I hear a lot of 'yes buts' and 'if onlys' in regards to setting and accomplishing goals. I must admit, I've been there myself. Until recently, I only had vague ideas of what I wanted to accomplish as well. In the past year however, I have not only written a mission statement which has helped to focus my efforts but I have also set a goal of publishing one of the children's stories that I have written but had in a drawer for years. The amazing thing about setting a goal and making progress toward accomplishing it, is that the process itself encourages you to set more goals and begin working toward other goals. Action in and of itself is a positive force. It causes you to think and make decisions. It increases the potential for moving in the direction of accomplishing the goal. Even if you are not successful in accomplishing the goal, a lot is learned in the process. Setting goals means that you challenge the status quo.

I've recently been listening to a CD by Jim Rohn called The Art of Exceptional Living. He makes the statement that the best way to get ahead is to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. He says if you work hard on your job you can make a living but if you work hard on yourself you can make a fortune. I had to give this some thought. What he is NOT saying is quit working so hard on your job. What he is saying is, in addition to working hard on your job, put effort into improving yourself. Reading books and writing in a journal are two of the suggestions he has for improving yourself. When you work harder on yourself than on your job you are making yourself newer everyday! When you are new and improved you have a better chance of being a winner and accomplishing your goals!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2Corinthians 5:17

We're Learning to Fly!

2010-03-15T13:39:00.011-04:00

Wow! What an awesome group we had in our 48 days class last night! I can't thank everyone enough for being willing to take a chance and share their personal stories and dreams. It is certainly true that there is power in the group experience that you can't find in the individual search. One of my favorite stories is the one Dan Miller tells in his third session about the eagle nest. It seems that eagles build their nest of sharp thorns and brambles then layer it with feathers and leaves to make it soft. However, as the baby eagles get older and more comfortable in their nest, the parents begin systematically removing the cushy layer, exposing the thorns. Not only do they make the environment less comfortable, but they also fly by just out of reach with a tasty morsel so that the baby eagles strain for the food, falling out of the nest in their effort and...in the process, discover they can fly. You have to think that this is something that they would never have discovered on their own if their parents hadn't pushed them in that direction.

Last night, we had a push in the direction of discovering our God given purpose and it did involve moving out of our comfort zone and taking a leap of faith. I hope in the process you discovered that you can FLY! Our assignment for next week is to come up with a mission statement and a mantra. The mission statement will give each of us focus and the mantra should be a short (3-5 words or so) summary of our mission. I loved the email I received from Betsy about her thoughts regarding the class and I am reprinting a small part of it here to give us encouragement as we design our mantra/mission. Do keep in mind that it is not written in stone. It can be changed and developed as you change, discover and develop.

Betsy said...The song was called Southern Voice, but what struck me, as I deliberated the mission statement/mantra assignment...... was how most of the song was a one word verb describing a list of people. I'll give you a sampling...
Rosa Parks rode it
Hank Aaron smacked it
Billy Graham saved it
Tom Petty rocked it
Just thought I'd share......as we all search for our "it" (I mean mantra).
Rosa Parks did nothing more than sit in a bus seat, but she did it with purpose and with focus

Books we mentioned in class:
Have You Filled a Bucket Today: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids by Carol McCloud

The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work, and Team with Positive Energy By Jon Gordon

The Art of Exceptional Living by Jim Rohn

Are You In The Wrong Room?

2010-03-02T16:29:00.005-05:00

My 81 year old mother has been staying with me recently and one of the continuing challenges for her is to find the right door to her bedroom. I must admit that it isn't an easy thing to determine. I have a long white hallway with six possible white doors all of which we keep closed in order to keep numerous cats and dogs from getting into things they shouldn't. She always walks hesitantly down the hallway, finally locating a possible room, opens the door and... sometimes finds herself in my daughter's bedroom, sometimes a closet and sometimes (hooray!) her own room. Chronically challenged by directions myself, I can empathize with the difficulty of the task. One recent afternoon, my son-in-law was using the printer in my daughter's bedroom. While he is printing, he hears the door to the bedroom open and in steps my mom, obviously lost again. "You got the wrong room," he points out to her. She laughs and says to him, "Yeah, you too..."

It's all in our perspective isn't it? How easy it is to become set in a routine way of looking at the world, a problem or even ourselves. Before you accept the status quo, make sure you first ask ourself if there is another, perhaps better way to interpret your 'reality'. Can you see it through someone else's eyes? Can you eliminate common assumptions and create a new way to view things? There is rarely one right way to view the world, so make sure your mind is open to new creative possibilities. You may just find out that there's more than one person in the wrong room...

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.Dream. Discover. Mark Twain

One Thing You Can Count On: Change

2010-02-28T21:24:00.002-05:00

What is something everyone, no matter your age, gender or socioeconomic group, has experienced? CHANGE! In our Career Coaching-48 Days to the Work You Love Class tonight we talked about change. Here's the conclusion: We've all had it, we don't like it and somehow it often takes us by SURPRISE. So, what can you do to prepare yourself? The best thing you can do is recognize the unchangeable, positive strengths, gifts and talents you possess. So that even in the midst of change you can feel solid and unchangeable in your abilities. This can not only give you focus, but also help you to turn change into opportunity. Have you ever had a difficult period in your life, maybe one you thought you would never get through, believed you didn't deserve and certainly didn't expect? Did you look back on it later and feel that the situation helped shape who you are today, or changed your perspective in some important way? As one of our group members said last week, Whenever God closes a door, He always opens a window, but it sure is dark in the hallway. What a challenging discussion!

Next week we begin to tackle the question: What do you want to be when you grow up? Your assignment: Describe 3 times in your life when you were involved in some activity that totally focused your attention and energy in a positive way. Write it down and bring it with you to class next week. See you next Sunday!
If you want more- some books we discussed:
The Power of Who: You Already Know Everyone You Need to Know
by Bob Beaudine
A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future
by Daniel Pink

Are You A Black Crab? Are You Hanging Out With One?

2010-02-21T22:24:00.001-05:00

Tonight was the first meeting of our Career Coaching class and what an awesome meeting it was! I want to sincerely thank everyone for sharing their story and for offering encouragement to each other. Each week, I want to summarize the key points that we learned from the DVD and our discussion. As you read through it feel free to add comments or any additional insights.

We all agreed that the story about the Black Crabs was quite an inspirational one that spoke to each of us in a slightly different way. Here's how the story goes: If you go down to the beach early in the morning you can find black crabs and put them in a bucket. Eventually those crabs start thinking, "Here we are bumping around in this little bucket making a lot of noise but going nowhere." One crab then looks up and thinks, "There's a whole new world up there. If I could just get my foot up over the edge, I could get out, get my freedom, and see the world in my own way." So he stretches up, pushes a little, and sure enough, gets one foot over the edge. But just as he is about to tip the balance and go over the edge, a crab from the bottom of the bucket reaches up and pulls him back down. You see, instead of encouraging him and helping each other get to freedom one by one, they pull anyone attempting to get out, back down into that confining bucket where death will come quickly.

One of the interesting facts that Dan Miller shared with us in the DVD was a statement made by Jim Rohn, "We are each most like the average of the five people we hang out with the most." Makes you stop and think doesn't it? Are you hanging out with black crabs? Are you one yourself? One of the key characteristics of successful people is that they hang around people who are performing at the level at which they want to perform. Find winners and spend time with them!

Another powerful statement made in the DVD was that rich people understand that to be successful you must: Be. Do. Have. But poor people believe that the order is: Have. Do. Be. In order to Be you must first identify your gifts, talents and strengths. Finding work you love is 85% inward and 15% is actually application. Use your dream journal in any way to help you begin to BE who God meant you to be. Write, draw, outline, make notes, lists whatever appeals to you. This week, focus on identifying the situation you feel you are in now and then envision a positive outcome. What would that be? What would be the smallest change that you could hope for? What would be the BIGGEST change that you could hope for? Know that God has a plan for your good and is encouraging you all the way.
Jeremiah 29:11 See you next Sunday!

Does God Call You Goober?

2010-02-20T19:50:00.000-05:00

When my youngest daughter was about to enter kindergarten, the school began doing pre-kindergarten screenings to see what each child knew prior to beginning school. Afterward, I was curious what the test was like and so that night at dinner I asked Hayley about it. She told me it was easy, just numbers, colors and cutting with scissors. I asked her if there was anything she didn’t know on the test. She thought awhile and then said well, she didn’t know her middle name. I thought I would give her a hint as to what her middle name was, so I reminded her that her Dad called her by her middle name all the time. This was true. When he was upset with her, he would call her by her entire name. She thought a while about this information, then she looked like a light bulb went on and she said, “Oh! Goober???” Don’t worry; we didn’t name her Hayley Goober Watts….

Names are important to us though, aren’t they? They help us know who we are and define our identity. In Isaiah 42:1, it says, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” The first time I heard this verse, it made me cry. It still does. God knows each of us so well he calls us by name. That verse tells us what a personal intimate relationship, God wants with each of us. It tells us that we belong in God’s family; we have a place that we cannot lose or abandon. It tells us that when we feel alone, left out or at odds with the human race, God still cares for us and holds us close. Sometimes, God not only knows our name, but he knows who we really are better than we know ourselves. Have you even been challenged to do something that you really didn’t believe you were capable of doing, but somehow you pulled it off? Have you ever been in the midst of a difficult situation that seemed impossible to cope with, and then somehow things worked out? Read my I Prefer Life post if you want a concrete example of this. Of course God knows us so well because he made us. I suppose sometimes, He might even call us Goober…

Can You Solve the Problem? Are There More Solutions?

2010-02-17T19:52:00.000-05:00

Are you frustrated with your job situation? Do you see any alternatives? Or do you see yourself as stuck with no way out? I have recently been very involved in problem solving as I try to help my mom and step dad plan for illness and other life changing situations. Sometimes, you have to get a new perspective to solve a problem. Here’s an example of what seems to be an impossible problem and how a very resourceful girl solved it. What would you do?

A farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the village moneylender. The old and ugly moneylender fancied the farmer’s beautiful daughter, so he offered to make the farmer a deal. He would forgive the farmer’s debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and the daughter were horrified by the proposal, but the sly moneylender then said he would let chance decide her fate. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty moneybag. The girl would reach in and pick one pebble from the bag. If she picked the black one, she would become his wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble, she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven. If she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail until the debt was paid. Pretty scary situation, huh?

Since they were standing on a pebble-strewn path, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles as they talked. The sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble. Imagine you are the one faced with this dilemma. What would you do? It seems there are three possibilities:

She could refuse to take a pebble and send her father to jail
She could pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from debt
She could pull out both black pebbles from the bag, expose the moneylender as a cheat, and likely incite his immediate revenge. He does after all have the upper hand.

Maybe you feel like you too are stuck in a situation with limited resources and only a couple of choices. I know I often feel this way myself. But are you limiting yourself? Are you viewing it as an either or situation when there are actually more options? Have you explored all the possibilities? Researched it? Asked others for counsel or their perspective? Are you leaving yourself open to unusual possibilities?

Here’s what our clever girl did in her seemingly impossible situation. She put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path, where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles. “How clumsy of me,” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.” Since the remaining pebble was black, it would have to be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl would have changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one. Can you do the same with your situation? Can you change an impossible situation into an advantageous one?

I Prefer Life

2010-02-13T21:39:00.004-05:00

It has been a most emotional week for me as I struggle with planning and decision making for aging parents. There have been many smaller decisions to be made, but the over-riding one was where my step-father could go from the hospital. My mother could not continue to assist him at home (especially when in truth, he was caring for her) and he is unable to walk at all now due to cancer which has metastasized to the bone. In addition, he has become quite confused and disoriented in the hospital. My goal became to move him to a nursing home near to me so I can monitor his care. I had no idea this would be so difficult. After two weeks of working with a discharge planner, contacting homes myself, visiting homes, investigating funding, pleading his case etc., I am no where nearer to finding a suitable placement than when I started. I have been calm and organized and I have been hysterical and out of control. I have been confident and assured and I have been depressed and desperate. I have experienced a roller-coaster-of-emotions from great sadness at what his life has become to gratitude for the opportunity to catch a glimpse of his inner person yet again. Finally when I give up and say to the discharge planner at the hospital, "I don't know what else to do." She says, "I could try to find a place near here." I agree for her to try and within hours, I have a call from a nursing home that will accept him and funding is not a problem. I agree to the transfer. The home is about an hour away, I have not even seen a picture of it and I am going on the kind voice of the admissions clerk over the phone.

When I arrive at the nursing home the next day, I am struck by how this is the best possible choice. The facility is small and homey. The staff is competent and caring. The other patients are well cared for. It didn't meet my criteria of being close to my home, but it did meet the important criteria for emotional and physical care. I am convinced it is a place that God chose. I certainly know I didn't have any part in it.

I spend some time alone with my step-father after he is admitted. He doesn't say much and most of what he does say is pretty far out and not at all grounded in his present reality. Out of the blue though, he says to me, "You know through all this, I've been thinking a lot about life and death." Stunned by this personal confession, I ask "And what have you thought about it?" "I prefer life," he says.

I've thought a lot myself about life and death, about control and giving it up to God, about decisions and choices. Here's what I've decided. I believe God has the better plan but that the best way for me to discern that is to: pray, plan, explore possibilities, be open and flexible and rely on all the resources I know. In the end though, sometimes I have to give up my control and place the power somewhere else. Then, God can move ahead with the plan he undoubtedly had all along. Maybe I needed to be frustrated with the homes near me before I could accept the home farther away and see the possibilities there. Maybe I needed to come to the end of my own resources first before I could rely on others. Maybe I needed to give up the details of the planning and spend some quiet time listening to the thoughts of an 84 year old. Despite all the frustrations, tears, anger and sadness of the past two weeks though, I too prefer life.

God said, "See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared." Exodus 23:20

WATTS WORKS

Planned Neglect

Help Me Choose A Book Cover!

She Loved Everything Pink

Week Four of Writing My Book: Perfect Dream, Imperfect Life

Guest Post By Martha Orlando: Why Do You Write?

Week Two: Writing A Book And Telling My Story

Week One Of Writing My Book

Help! I'm Writing A Book!

Have You Hidden Your Gifts?

The Top Ten People I Am Grateful For

Can Something Good Come Out Of Something Bad?

What Are You Grateful For And How Do You Show It?

Where Does God Live?

How Big Is Your God?

Tired of Waiting For The Cows To Come Home?

How I Lost...And Found My Voice At Kent Julian's Speaker's Bootcamp

Mouse In The House--Gotcha!

Who Do You Call On InTimes Of Trouble?

What If You Could Lose Weight Just By Thinking?

What If The Miracle Is You?

The Law of Pinocchio vs. The Law of the Harvest

Be A River Not A Reservoir

Are You A Loser... Or A Learner?

What If You Began Your Day With Adventure Time Instead Of Quiet Time?

How Are You Making A Dent In The Universe?

Everyone Deserves A Chance To Fly-- Elphaba in Wicked

Great Resources For Devloping Your Speaking Ability

Are You Living In The Land Of Scarcity?

Great Book And Resource! Let's All Make A Difference.

Sometimes A Bad Apple Can Be A Wake Up Call... Snow White

A Life Well Lived--Remembered

One Shoe Can Change Your Life

Do You Want To Be Significant Or Successful?

Are Your Possessions Stealing Your Energy?

You Can't Name My Baby Brother A Dog's Name!

Understanding Yourself Leads To Understanding Others

Do You Have Cooking Expectations?

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